SS10 oppositional and no attention span
It's driving me crazy - does anyone have any experience on this sort of trait?
My SS is sweet and a good boy mostly.
I've spoken about him before regarding his babyish behaviour.
It's not really ever changed in the 3 years I've lived with him.
He's nearly 11 now!
But the worst thing that get truly on my nerves is his inability to do ANYTHING AT ALL for longer than 5 minutes. Nothing, not gaming, not reading, not football (which he loves) - nothing. And he doesn't think to do anything even the stuff he enjoy on his own initiative. It's like worse than a toddler.
And then when we suggest stuff or try and play with him or give him activities or chores - he just says no! To everything. It could be like how about you take this million dollars and go to the mall. He would say NO!
Wtf. Is this normal kid behaviour?
I feel like at 11 he shouldn't be saying No to everything like a toddler and he should be able to focus or play for longer than a minute. He goes from thing to thing. He never had a project or a game he's playing.
Would love to know your take on this?
- Oldrosie's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Some how you are getting it wrong
You are the adult, SS is the child. You are in control NOT him. You tell him to do things he has no choice but do it. Or he stays in his room with out any electronics including TV phone, tablet, just books many school books. Until he starts doing something. You must stop the madness now
I agree. Stop suggesting,
I agree. Stop suggesting, stop asking, and start TELLING him what he's going to do!
@winterglow we do this too
@winterglow we do this too but then he just buzzes round us aimlessly drifting. Walking round in circles staring into space.
It's so irritating. We don't ask him we do tell him but then he either days no, suggests something he'd rather do and then comes back within minutes bored of whatever he said he'd rather do.
And the cycle continues!
But that's just it, he doesn
But that's just it, he doesn't get to say no. Use your teacher voice, raise it slightly and tell him "you were told to XYZ. Now DO IT! " Every single time...
Totally agree but we've tried
Totally agree but we've tried all this. He is like a toddler.
See below reply! Thank you @henry
Tell DH you will not be
Tell DH you will not be giving SS ANY directions, parenting, etc. until he can stop being so defiant. I told my DH this in regards to SD. I told him everything I asked her to do became an argument. Even "hey, did you brush your teeth?" It sucks to watch the kids fall behind, but it's not your responsibility. Once DH actually had to start dealing with SD11 himself, instead of pawning off responsibilites on me, he started to see how difficult his child really was.
What happens when you ask him
What happens when you ask him to do something? "SS, please unload the dishwasher." "No." And he then walks away? And your DH lets him?
I can only give an example from my house. DH asking YSD to unload the dishwasher, "YSD, do you think you might be able to maybe possibly if you feel like it unload the dishwasher...if you have time?" YSD, "Ummmmmm....I have to go to X." DH, "OK."
I've stopped watching this fiasco and just don't unload it unless it's just me and DH. DH and YSD use so so so many kitchen items through the day it's really amazing and they can darn well figure it out. YSD does not say no to me however, if needed. I tell her. This happened the other night as DH was working late..."YSD, please put x and y away into the fridge." YSD does so. "Thank you, now could you please help me unload the dishwasher." (note this was not phrased as a question). "Thank you. Let's load it up now." Then, "Thank you for your help, have a good night." "You're welcome. Good night."