I want a child of my own, but…
So when I was younger maybe like 14 or so my mom took me to a gyno and this man told me I will never have kids biologically. I didn't care until I got older and idealized getting married to my now husband. He had two boys when we got together and at first I loved it. I loved the feeling of being a mother because even though they have and I am not their biological mother, they treated me like I was.... for the first few months.
This made me think... I want kids of my own.
A month after we got married I got checked by another gyno and they again told me it wasn't going to happen for me.
i was bummed out, but soon to realize I don't want one.
I don't know if ss4 is just a special kind of annoying or what... but oh my lord does this child drive me up a god damn wall. I don't think he does anything particularly annoying. It's just he never sits still. He's never not taking for longer than 2 minutes. He makes me stop what I'm doing everytime he has to go to the bathroom because for some reason I have to be fully aware that he is going there. He talks over me any time I'm on the phone or talking to my husband. Overall I just don't like him.
SS10 isnt the worst kid in the world but if any of you have a fortnite kid you know they are lazy and it gets frustrating having the dad get upset when the house isn't clean even though you cleaned it 5 FREAKING TIMES.
it's little things that set me off and made me realize I don't even like kids. My nephews always annoyed me. I didn't even like kids when I was a kid... I stayed in at lunch to hang out with the teacher.
Well the last 4 months I hit an opifanny. I dont want kids anyway. And in 14 years when the last kid is off to college (hopefully) me and my husband could get out of our financial bind because no more CS putting us in debt. We can go see the world and do the things I wanted to do with my life while I'm still young.
.... last week I got a positive pregnancy test... I haven't told my husband but got it confirmed by a doctor today. I'm 14 weeks....
I havnt mixed feelings and all I feel like doing is crawling into a bowl and crying but my step kids are on their way here and I am dreading it...
help...
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Comments
WOW. What a story.
Take some time out for yourself. This kind of thing can be overwhelming on a good day. Tell your husband you need time for yourself, and then do it.
You are likely also hormonal. Many blessings your way!
As someone who had a surprise
As someone who had a surprise pregnancy that was neither planned nor desired and who never really liked kids either... can I suggest therapy. I didn't want to be pregnant and yet I couldn't bring myself to abort... My gyn asked me if I needed someone to talk to and I went. Trust me, she helped me come to terms with what was an impossible situation for me. Please try it. Even if it's just to cast a different light on the situation.
(((((Hugs)))))
Same here
I had two completely unplanned pregnancies and was never exactly maternal. I ended up financially supporting both of them on my own.
Aww HUN
Be easy on yourself. Like above speak to a professional on this.
Sometimes surprises that you were never expecting becomes the biggest blessing.
I am bio less and can only speak from what I have read on here. Having your own is a whole different level of love. The annoyance of skids and nephews will not be the same for yours.
Blessings lady
Don’t thing once SD are grown up
You will have money coming coming out your As* , SK always need money, College , cars, weddings, house, GK.
Not paying for a wedding kid
Not paying for a wedding kid is out his damn mind. Not paying for his car if he can't afford his own car his taking a bus. If his collage is more than what his dad has already saved for him he can get a job and who tf pays for their kids housing...
but regardless I won't have to pay their mother 800 a month for kids that are here 6 days of the week. So yes I'm gonna have some damn money
Same here ! I was dead set on
Same here ! I was dead set on not having kids till surprise I took a PT and it was positive. I'm scarred of the way skids will influence my child. And skids call me by my real name if my bio does this to me I will be livid! This past year there mom has gotten every stimulus for the kids has them on food stamps and my FT still pays child support. They lived with us full time for the past two years. Past two years I didn't mind helping out but this year I'm not doing anything. No school clothes , supplies nothing I threw my hands up with the situation. These are not my kids and for me to go above and beyond for them only stresses me out . Cause at the end of the day I will never be there biomom and I'm fine with that. She could abandon them for years and they still would want a relationship with her. I could give them everything for years and they still be ungrateful for what I've done.
Congrats!
This is a big surprise, and it'll take a bit of time to process, but perhaps it is just a huge blessing you never allowed yourself to hope for becasue you didn't think it was possible? If you decide it's what you want, the money will probably be just fine. The SKs are not your responsibility (certainly not financially), so don't let that weigh on you. Ask yourself, even if I have to do this all by myself, can I afford it? If so, then you'll be fine!
I can't speak to other's experiences or how yours would be, but for me personally, I can't overstate the differences between being a stepparent and a bioparent - being a bioparent taught me unconditional love, and the hard times are easily outweighed by the joy I feel in being a parent; whereas, for me, being a stepparent has brought me nothing but pain.
Yes, therapy pronto. At 17
Yes, therapy pronto. At 17 weeks you are pretty far along to make any other decision-but you will have an adjustment period. Motherhood IMO is not what it's cracked up to be- I see them as little burdens, not blessings lol. I have two kids- not sure if I did it over I would to be honest. I mean I love them, but there was no 'ultimate joy' at any point honeslty. It's hard and unforgiving, thankless work. There are beautiful moments as well of course. Not all is gloom/doome. You need time/patience with yourself and allow yourself to feel HOWEVER you need to about it w/no guilt. It will take time.
I also had two miscarriages with DH and I grieved those deeply-especially our 1st miscarriage. At that point -though totally unplanned I was excited about the idea of a bubs with hubs :)
Hang in there, process your feelings.