Off topic - As an aunt, what are my expectations with my niece and nephew to babysit?
Hey guys,
I don't know if you remember but I am a childfree woman and I don't want children of my own. I just don't see myself as a mom raising a child. I prefer to have a successful career and I enjoy my freedom. My boyfriend has adult sons and I'm learning to deal with them. I know it's challenging.
My brother has a 4 year old girl and 2 year old boy. I enjoy being around them and I have watched them when I'm available. Sometimes I'll make sacrifices to help even though I might have things to do. I love my niece and nephew but I'm not crazy about them since I'm not a big fan of children in general. Well, my mom acts like she wants me to worship them. She tells me I need to go see them more often and wants me to fawn over them. Yesterday she told me something that made me a little irritated. She asked if I could miss a day of work to babysit my niece and nephew at 12 noon. It's weird that she'll ask me that. She is well aware that I work Monday through friday until 5 in the afternoon. I think she was out of line to ask me such a thing. If anything, the parents should miss work to take care of THEIR children, not me. So why is my mom asking me? Like she expects me to drop everything to take care of my niece and nephew? Do I really have to prioritize them over my job? Or maybe she did it on purpose to make me upset because she knows I can't miss work. Sure, I can lie at my job but that would be unprofessional. I just want to hear your thoughts on this. How am I supposed to act in terms of babysitting?
"No" is a complete sentence.
"No" is a complete sentence.
And, No, you should NOT lie to your employer and not prioritize the children over your job. They are not your responsibility. If the parents need babysitters, the parents are responsible for finding babysitters.
You are their aunt. Babysitting is something you have the option to offer when it suits you. Understandable if there is an unexpected situation and you can and want to help. But you are under no obligation to babysit. Ever.
No
Your mom needs to back off. She should not be making sitter arrangements. That is for the parents.
Your mom needs to back off. Hoe often and how long you visit the nieces and nephews is none of her business.
Of course it's not your responsibility
Just say no.
Your mother is out of line, just ignore her.
The only people obligated to
The only people obligated to "babysit" for children are their own bio or adoptive parents.
The great thing about being
The great thing about being an aunt, is you don't have any responsibilities towards those children. YOU get to choose what you do and don't do for them (not your mother).
You chose not to have children (I get it, I did the same), you are certainly under no obligation to babysit someone elses. And to expect you to take off of work to do so is simply out of line.
Don't let anybody push you into doing something you don't want to do, don't let anybody guilt you.
Are you kidding? These are
Are you kidding? These are not your kids and not your responsibility. If your mother thinks that their parents need help, then she can get off her interfering backside and damn well babysit her grandchildren. Do not get bullied into being an unpaid and unwilling babysitter. You have ZERO responsibility here.
1. The only person who should
1. The only person who should ask you to watch the kids IS the kids mom or dad...not your mom.
2. You are not ever obligated to take care of someone elses children.
3. Why doesnt Granny volenteer her time to babysit, what is it up to YOU to do it?
Sorry you may feel pressure by your mom....just tell her no.
You can add: you would be happy to order in a pizza for everyone IF she babysits the kids
You can help that way.
There should be no
There should be no expectation that you babysit, with the possible exception of an emergency situation. "Emergency" does not mean it's inconvenient for the parents to take off from work so you should do so. It means, for example, that someone is being rushed to the hospital and there's no one else to watch the kids. I don't expect my sisters to babysit my DD and if I asked them and they declined, I'd find someone else. I'm not sure why your mom is pressuring you. If she wants to help your sister out, she can. She's out of line asking you to do so.
Well, this particular
Well, this particular situation was not an emergency. That's why I think it's too much to ask me to miss a day at my job.
My mom does babysit her grandkids. I think for some reason she couldn't babysit and her solution was to talk with me instead of doing so with the parents. It's ridiculous to ask me to take a day off when it should be the parent's job to figure it out. Maybe it's my mom having trouble saying she can't babysit. She needs to speak up then but leave me out of this
No.
End of discussion. If your mom needs more than that, ask her why the kid's parents can't do it as your job is full time and not a career that makes you available to fill in for your brother and his wife not caring for their kids and working with their employer to deliver on their work and parental responsibilities.
I am fortunate enough to have
I am fortunate enough to have a flex time position & can take children with me to the office for brief periods of time if necessary. This means I was always the one to stay home when SD or DS was home, especially since exH did not get paid for time off. This also means I am occasionally hit up for babysitting as close friends and family know my schedule is flexible. It does not mean I am obligated to do so. I will occasionally help out in an emergency, but will never let it become a regular thing. You are never obligated to watch anyone's children but your own biological ones.
This is an obvious NO unless
This is an obvious NO unless there is some dire family emergency, which it sounds like this is just a convenience thing. Is grandma doing the childcare while the parents work? If so what's going on with her and why can't the actual parents step up? I'm sure there's a teenager or neighbor that can fill in.