CS and PAS
DH pays CS based on EOWE visitation. Since SD has cut him out of her life and refuses to even speak to him let alone see him will this alter the CS order when it is time for review next year? He hasn't given up his visitation and technically hasn't voluntarily stopped seeing her on his end at least. He can't get in contact with BM or SD because they use text apps the only 3 times they have allowed contact. We dropped the legal case because it's basically useless given SD's age. He pays full medical but BM has medicaid as secondary so they only use the medicaid to avoid us knowing exactly where they live now. She gets a portion of the childsupport she receives taken for medicaid compensation. He's obviously going to continue to pay but will he have to pay more because SD and BM won't follow the CO?
Depends where you are. In my
Depends where you are. In my state, a parent would pay the same CS whether there was no visitation or EOWE visitation. I'd think to get any change in CS BM would have to file for a custody modification, though, to formalize the actual arrangement.
Is the CS review obligatory?
Is the CS review obligatory? Or simply customary? I would think it should stay the same unless the CO for visitation gets altered, after all, as you said, he hasn't given up his visitation (doesn't that mean that BM is in contempt of the CO?). Isn't BM obliged to let him know where his daughter is living?
Yes, she is in contempt. My
Yes, she is in contempt. My husband filed for custody modification and contempt but we wouldn't get a court date until after SD's birthday. The lawyer said we can try to enforce the CO but since SD is 14 she can refuse to visit if she wants. The judge will not force her to go. It was basically futile so we dropped it. BM never told us she moved SD out of town 6 hours away and still pretends to live with the grandma. She is still lying to the school as well saying they are still in town. The lawyer located utilities in BM's name and got an address to a rental. Neither BM or SD have a sure way to contact them. The lawyer said if we didn't pursue anything then it could look like we are okay with what she did (taking SD out of town even though she never told us, and not seeing her). The lawyer said we could be looking at atleast 3 years battling it in court and by that time SD will be almost 18. BM did the same thing with her other ex-husband and their kids. They are much younger and he has 50/50 custody. The judge gave her a slap on the wrist and told her she has to do all transportation. The lawyer also represented her ex-husband and said that BM will get away with it in our case as well. According to recent rumors she let him have the kids and he withdrew his motion.
I don't know where people get
I don't know where people get it in their heads that the kids have a choice on visiting the parents. They don't. They are not adults and they don't have a say in the matter.
BM is allowing it and should be held in contempt for it. Your DH needs to show up and get her- plain and simple.
14 yr olds that think they can make adult choices turn into 16 yr olds making BIG grown up mistakes!
We've exhausted everything.
We've exhausted everything. It's a lost cause. He went to court for enforcement and modification when SD was 12 because PAS started ramping up. Court mediator said around 13 years old he needs to start giving her more say and accept that she doesn't want to go. Mediation failed, court date was scheduled and then postponed due to covid. PAS went into over drive she refused to see him. He got sick of her games went to go pick her up for his time, she called the police. SD was throwing herself on the ground screaming and clawing herself. Police said we can't make her go. Dh gave it time and realized she wasn't coming back. So when BM got in an abusive situation and CPS was involved Dh obtained a lawyer for contempt and get SD and BM to follow CO. Lawyer said in our state it's 14 years old that the kid can decide who to live and when to visit. The lawyer said it's a screwed up system but that is how it works in our state. Every resource says sorry there's nothing we can do.
Sounds like it has worked out
Sounds like it has worked out for the best considering.
It has. That kid and her mom
It has. That kid and her mom were an absolute nightmare. I can't wait till she is officially 18 just 4 more years.
And yes the review is
And yes the review is automatic. There is no way around it if the CS is ordered through the court. Also if you get a new job after previously being unemployed it changes. BM had a personal relationship with her manager and when it was time to calculate income she quit her job and said she couldn't work because she had young kids. Dh was ordered to pay more. BM then went back to her job 2 weeks later and CSED caught it and lowered it back to the original amount.
In some states they do count
In some states they do count the n of overnights when calculating CS, not sure if yours does. That said, he's not voluntarily giving up his time, BM is violating, so I doubt it would change anything. It shouldn't-but we all know family court is pretty repugnant.
They do count overnights in
They do count overnights in my state. That's what I was confused about. How do we count overnights that DH is entitled to get per CO but didn't have because SD refuses?
Does your state do a range or
Does your state do a range or specific number of days? Here, 51 days or less is calculated at the "highest" possible CS rate. Then 52-55 days is the next bracket, 56-59, 60-63, etc. The "lowest" payment bracket is 182+ days.
If they do it by bracket, and your DH only had EOWE to begin with, it may not change. If he had 50/50, it unfortunately could change a lot.
I'm not sure I believe they
I'm not sure I believe they use the bracket. He has joint custody but not 50/50 timeshare. In my state you only get 50/50 if you have a lawyer otherwise it's the usual EOWE. When they established custody DH was barely 18 so no money for a lawyer and very naive. When it comes time for review he doesn't want to lie and say yeah I have her x overnights a year when he hasn't physically seen her in over a year and half and counting. They do require the CO as proof.
Slightly OT
I am disgusted at how corrupt that system is - the judges are just ensuring the lawyers' income at the expense of fathers' rights. Disgusting.
I would think it would
I would think it would account for the ones ON the CO, not what BM is denying him. The only time it would change, is if BM proved that he was giving up his time -and declining his visitation, NOT if she is not allowing it and in contempt.
He's never declined it. He
He's never declined it. He has asked to see her a few times but there's no response because either the numbers are disconnected and his texts to the app are never answered. The last time he tried to pick up SD last year she called the police and said she was being harassed and someone was trying to take her. The police told my husband they can't physically force her so he should just try again later. He hasn't gone back since because she will do it again. BM hasn't said he couldn't see her but she said if SD doesn't want to see him again she will fully support her to keep her space safe. SD is making all the decisions with the influence of her mom.
Make sure DH tells the court
Make sure DH tells the court that he is keeping visitation as is. There is no reason to reward BM for SD not coming over. Our BM tried this with YSS , pas him to stop coming over but the court didn't change CS because he was teen. CS was left as is. Visitation is considered optional for the NCP but don't let the court change it officially, that's where the increase comes in.
If I were your DH I would
If I were your DH I would start to nail BM with a contempt motion for each and every visitation that SD misses. That demonstrates that he is actively trying to engage in his COd visitation with his DD and establishes a foundation to bare BM's ass in court that she has no standing for an increase in CS next year as she is the adult that is denying DH his time with his kid.
DH should also go after BM for anything and everything he can in civil court regarding her failure to comply with the CO. Emotional durress due to not having his daughter, etc, etc, etc..... It may not be successful but there is certainly some satisfaction to be had when a Judge chews the ass of the toxic blended family opposition.
It would quicker and more
It would quicker and more efficient for Corgi and her DH to flush $20k down the toilet.
Really. We've already flushed
Really. We've already flushed down several thousand. By the time we get everything solved through the courts she will be 17.
Keep in mind that filing a
Keep in mind that filing a contempt motion does not require a lawyer. It documents the BM's violation of the CO and gives some support to fighting a CS increase in a year, as I understand the next CS review schedule to be based on the OPs comments. I would rather prepare for the CS review and have the courts fully aware of BM's bullshit than to walk in next year and wing it. A lawyer is not necessary for the CS review either BTW. We are not talking $20K in legal fees.
Late to the game but
No, technically it doesn't require an attorney, however the courts are automatically biased against NCP biodads so any NCP biodad that appears before the court WITHOUT an attorney is a fool no matter how small the issue. Chef found that out VERY quick. And yes, the "father's rights" attorneys all sleep on mattresses stuffed with wads of cash.
Dropping the rope is usually the only thing that saves money and sanity. There is NO fighting a CP HCGUBM and her PAS carpet bombing. Hell the family court system and psychological community doesn't even RECOGNIZE PAS as being real!!!