SD14 ignoring us after told she's staying with us permanently until she's 18 if she comes back
She ignored that text and 2 other unrelated texts over the weekend. DH also told SD and BM to call him together and that never happened, either. I hate the "daddy save me" call (not the first time) and getting us all worried only for it to basically be "business as usual" in BM's home since they all treat each other like crap.
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I am so glad that you guys
I am so glad that you guys put it out there. She was able to play you guys back and forth for what she wants- putting an end to it was smart.
DH told her she's welcome
DH told her she's welcome back but agreed she'll stay until 18 if she does. I was the one to tell her and now she's ignoring us both. She also wanted to deny that she had a choice to stay and blames it on BM.
SS21 still does this on rare
SS21 still does this on rare occasions after a fight with BM. Calls DH and badmouths BM, talks about getting out of her home, then a few days later they are besties again! That's why you don't take this crap seriously.
We don't agree with how
We don't agree with how intense/ harsh SF is but SD knew how he was before she moved back. BM also defends him so SD moved here because she felt picked on. She also has a horrible attitude of "take take, no give."
It's part of having a toxic
It's part of having a toxic mom. Endless drama.
I definitely didn't know
I definitely didn't know people like BM existed until I met her.
Par for the ping-pong course
Ping-pong basics: "(Insert name) is abusing me", "Mom hates me!", " Mom doesn't understand me".
Level 2: " Help me, Dad!", "I don't know what to do", "(Insert name) is more understanding", " I feel like running away".
You are wise to recognize the ping-pong dynamic. Another one is the fights between BM and SD followed by reconciliation, lather, rinse, repeat.
We both talked to her before
We both talked to her before moving back and explained to expect the exact same treatment if she did. She basically didn't give it any thought from February to March and is now blaming it on BM because she's the one who told SD it wasn't working here and she needed to be home.
I didn't straight up tell her BM is a liar but tried to explain the patterns of dishonesty and abuse. SF won't suddenly change and now that SD is back, he hates his life and both he and BM are blaming it on SD failing school.
Of course, being a teen, SD
Of course, being a teen, SD probably doesn't give a thought to how it makes her father feel when she basically says "It's horrible here, I'm being abused, I'm afraid, I'm blamed for everything . . . oh, but I'd rather stay here than come live with you for the next few years."
I'm glad to hear you're not letting her play one household against the other
It's a 600 mile move and she
It's a 600 mile move and she's been to 3 schools this year. Moving back here after being gone less than 3 months would be absolutely nuts! I also don't want to be responsible for her. DH works 60 hour weeks and I'm a SAHM and have my mom's help. Her moving back would land squarely on my plate. Again.
Oh, I'd be pushing hard for
Oh, I'd be pushing hard for her to stay with BM then.
The good news about her ignoring you is that she's unlikely to be in danger and things are probably not as bad as she portrayed them.
No more boomerang child
SD22 Feral Forger did that for a while, until 18 and aged out. Once she moved back to Toxic Trolls apartment, there she stays.