Okay, what I'm going to say isn't going to make a lick of sense, but I'm going to rant anyway.

I've been struggling lately because I'm really sick and cant really do much but sleep or stay in bed all day. If i try to get out of bed I feel absolutely shaky and I have no energy to do anything. I've been to a doctor and its a bit personal as to what sickness but im not contagious. 

Anyway, all I have wanted is for BM to take her kids because it had gotten to the point both boys SS10 and SS4 were saying she hates them. I don't want them to grow up hating their mother.

So i was pretty happy when she started keeping them more often. i guess something happened with her job, or she had weird hours because Shes been getting off at noon and picking them up, and on random days on the weekend she will pick them up during the day and say she has to drop them off at weird times at night because she has to work.. Strange as hell but whatever.

But not its got to the point that she's picking them up every day an hour before my husband gets off work. They don't really see their dad often anymore except a day on the weekend when she randomly decides to drop them off. 

So i somehow turned into their babysitter on weekdays, but they don't get to see their dad. I'm definitely going to be talking to my husband about this because fuck that, 

I dont know if anyone else feels like this, and i also feel like I could blame it on the fact that I'm sick, but i love them very much, but they annoy the hell out of me to the point I dont want to deal with them anymore. In the beginning I enjoyed being around them, but the longer we have been in Texas the less I feel that. I get excited everytime they leave and I sigh everytime they knock on the door. 

Its different when my husbands home because he deals with them.

Also, side note. It is storming right now and she is insisting on picking them up anyway. SS10 was really hoping to see his dad today, so that sucks.

But hey, he has seemed to make up with his mom after she bought him a new phone, new playstation controller, a bunch of stuff for his game and apperently started letting him play playstation all day when hes there. Glad she could atleast buy his love.