Does anyone else care?
Forums:
I try to disengage but don't like feeling invisible. I don't expect the stepkids to wish me happy Mother's Day, they have a mom and I have my own kids. But I think still maybe saying have a nice weekend to me would be nice? Nope, nothing. Only one of three wished me a happy birthday too. I shouldn't care but I do. I live with these people, how hard is it to be considerate? I know my kids don't do much for DH for Father's Day but they are usually out of town that full week anyway. I'm sick of feeling invisible by people I live with and see on a daily basis, anyone else?
I know how you feel
I didn't mind that the SKs ignored me on Mother's Day when they were just visiting. But one year, they all 3 moved in over a 9-month period. It was overwhelming on emotional, financial and all levels, Actually it was exhausting. I was blindsided that year when I got no recognition while they were making sure BM was being acknowledged. I almost cried.
I came to realize they were too young to respond appropriately and DH wasn't and isn't good about gifts. So, I vowed to make sure Mother's Day, an emotional landmine, always was good. Nice outfit, good food, whatever it took. That worked. As they aged, they learned to do holidays properly.
Buy a new outfit, plan a nice dinner, do whatever makes you hapoy. Happy Mother's Day!
It's your DH's responsibility
It's your DH's responsibility to ensure his kids treat you with dignity and respect. Have you told him how you'd like to be treated on holidays?
You’re right
It's on DH and I need to communicate better. We are going to marriage counseling again and I will discuss this. I mentioned it the other day, and he said, "well both OSS and middle SS(the favorite) said happy birthday". No, your favorite did not say it, he is so in denial and can't imagine there is anything wrong with this kid. Yet another thing to bring up in counseling...
Agree with Crown Jewels....
My SS has ignored me for about 3 years now and im very grateful for it. I dont want anything from him whatsoever! He has never wished me a Happy Fathers Day and i couldnt be happier about it! Cant stand that kid. I just want to enjoy peace and quiet anymore.
I didn't expect or want
I didn't expect or want anything on Mother's Day, but when SS21 was visiting, he and DH would do something together for me for my birthday. I didn't expect a kid to figure that out on his own.
Gawd awful
In any other flucking situation where people lived in the same house, like room mates, congregate settings i would think you would acknowlege others on a special day. EXCEPT in step hole. Then we can come up with reasons to not expect anything from the shitpile step kids. Its so insane it would make a mad man look sane.
It totally is up to DH to ensure that his A Hole kids treat you with respect. How hard is it to say Happy Mothers Day, or Happy Birthday. Heck the cashier at the grocery store wished me happy mothers day, and I am not a mom. LOL I said thanks. I am certain she knows I am not her mother , yet here we are thinking its ok not to wish a step mom happy mothers day cause she aint my mom.
One set of rules for society, and a whole set of rules for step shit skids.
Boggles the flipping mind.
Killjoy the Psychopath
Killjoy the Psychopath brought me breakfast in bed on MD for a couple of years. She was always so faux pleasant. I found it very gaslighting. She was passive aggressively hostile towards me everyday but made MD about herself and what a wonderful girl she is.
Blech.
I wish she would have left me alone.