Hanging by a thread...

Hello everybody,

First of all I would like to thank those people who answered on my comment on another person's post last week. I have been trying to find the post but I was not able to find it, all I know is that you both people showed me a lot of empathy and made me re-think even more about my relationship with DH (which has been pretty unstable, and every day is getting worst). Thank you for your kind words, and I wish I could find that post because I don't remember your names.

SS4 is currently with BM for the weekend. This past week DH has been "absent", he barely talks to me and we are not even intimate in any way. Not even a hug or a kiss. DH is moping around because he misses SS (nothing bad about it, but he's just gone for the weekend and then he's coming back), and I told him that we should have a date night or something, to which he told me he doesn't want to do anything, or spend money. He's counting the days until SS comes back, and complaining about how bored he is or how quiet the house is. Today he came home, didn't even say hi, he just ate and then asked me how are we going to spend this weekend, to just tell me that he doesn't want to do anything. He fell asleep already. I tried to make conversation with him, and he just told me "so? Why do I need to know about this". I told him I was just trying to make conversation and he said we don't have anything to talk about.

He's damn right we don't have anything to talk about. Because this marriage is basically non existent. Apparently being alone with me makes him "bored" but then when SS is here DH doesn't even play with him or spend time with him. If I have to be with a guy that is only happy when his son is with us, and can't even make time for me, then what the hell am I doing here. I try to make this work, but honestly I don't even want to anymore.

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Omg I know the feeling, I

Omg I know the feeling, I feel like I have to force my wife to show interest every since I got into it with her daughter and we have only been married 3 months. I don't have any kids of my own but sometimes I feel like these parents just need to stay single since they worship their children so damn much

You're right.

If this weekend DH keeps being all sad without talking to me, I will tell him that he can stay alone with SS if I am that boring. Some people should really be alone with their kids!! It just makes me mad because if they just want to be with their kids, then why do they get married? So we can be the company when the skids are gone? No thank you!

Leave. You are young and

Leave. You are young and childless. You made a mistake- that's ok! You can have a happy fulfilling life with someone who adores you. My DH is my best friend and we laugh and talk and are affectionate all the time! My best to you.

Thank you so much.

I really see this marriage as a mistake, I blame myself for being so naive. I feel like I'm living a life that is not mine and everyday I just come to the conclusion that me and DH might not meant to be together, and that's okay.

Time to snip that thread and

Time to snip that thread and go. At the very least I hope you make plans for yourself for the weekend. Get a massage. Get drinks with a friend. Do something to make yourself happy. Anything you planned for the so of you he would nope through anyway. He needs a wake up call.

Your husband doesn't even

Your husband doesn't even sound like he's trying. You might want to cut your losses while they're relatively modest. Find someone who thinks you're fascinating and is thrilled to spend time with you.

Wow thats sad for you but

Wow thats sad for you but good for him i suppose.

If you are just an accessory in his life then be that! I would ignore him and his son and when they start talking to u just say "what good is this info for me"....And then when u come home, just exclaim yourself "WOW I LOVE HOW QUIET AND PEACEFUL THE HOUSE IS....I just enjoy it!! This is my kind of atmosphere!" Then play your music and watch the movies that you like and ignore his moping around....

If he goes to sleep and doesnt want to have sex, just send him an article about ED and how you have concerns that he is hiding something from u on that end since he hasnt been willing to be intimate at all!!

From what you describe you do

From what you describe you do not have a relationship with this man and he does not want one with you.

I could be generous and suggest that he might be depressed, but I am not sure that being depressed is an excuse for being an a-hole. Up to you if you think that encouraging him to get help is worth your time and if you want to stick it out in the hopes that your relationship improves.

" I try to make this work,

" I try to make this work, but honestly I don't even want to anymore"

Go and read over your other posts if you need that extra push to leave.

He says he's bored when his son isn't there (what kind of an adult says crap like that? Doesn't he know how to entertain himself?)
He refused to get you meds or gatorade to make you feel better when you were sick.
He maintains that you exaggerated being sick.
He was supposed to bring home dinner for you when you'd spent all day with his son and he didn't do it.
Your sex life is pretty much non-exixtant and your husband doesn't care.
He says he wants the situation to change but does damn all about it. That's caled lip service.
He won't go to counselling. That's a biggie. Does he expect things to suddenly and magically get better if he just keeps sitting on them?
You're living your life the way he dictates and not the way you feel you need and that is why you feel as if you're suffocating and one of the reasons why your anxiety is through the roof.
He thinks your meds are the cause of your anxiety (WTF?!). He probably thinks you're faking your anxiety too.
Heck, you're spending most of your life in your badroom, like you said, why not go and do that by yourself? Better to be alone than in bad company ...

It sounds to me as if this relationship has run its course - you haven't grown along the same tracks, so to speak, and are going in different directions. If the idea of a divorce is too scary right now, why not try separating for a few months to breathe a little and to see how you feel then?

Honestly, your 22 and your entire life is before you. Why rope yourself to an unhappy life with someone who is so little suited to you and who cares so little about you? Don't you think you deserve a brighter future?

I agree a 100% with winter

I agree a 100% with winter glow your relationship is non existent, it's time to cut your losses and move on. You deserve am opportunity to be happy.

I call this "Doll on a Shelf

I call this "Doll on a Shelf Sydrome". I lived through a similar version with my XH.

The basic premise is that, in this analogy, you are a doll and your DH is a small child. When he wants to play with you, he pulls you off the shelf and you have a grand time! You are the center of his world, or you get brought into his other games...for a tiny bit. Then he gets bored playing with you, so he puts you back on your shelf where you are to remain still and silent until you're deemed worthy enough to play with again.

No amount of you begging and pleading will convince him to interact with you because he is preoccupied elsewhere. In this case, it's with his son. His son is his coveted doll right now, but he loaned the doll to someone else and now he won't play with anything else.

This is a crappy way to live. It's not that you should be the center of his universe all the time, but you certainly should always be in his orbit. Your needs and wants should always be a consideration, and vice versa. But you're not getting that, and I don't know how you get that other than convince him to go to therapy.

Yeah, you are being used. I'm

Yeah, you are being used. I'm sorry, I know it must be very painful. You deserve better.

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