Early morning thoughts
As the date for SO to move out nears. My feelings of guilt lessen. I actually realize that part of me still harbors anger and resentment towards him for the way he has treated me in relation to his kids over the past year.
There is a part of me that looks forward to him having to live in a home where it's not his and have to deal with his kids 24/7 without me.
This realization came about after last night he mentioned OSD miraculously becoming an upstanding citizen and eventually coming back here. That's when I realized he still has not accepted the reality of his kids issues.
OSD is likely going to end up in jail or a group home. Her behavior is by far considered extremely delinquent. She is only 14 and drinks, does drugs, is sexually active, is failing school, and has numerous assaults on caregivers. She is not going to miraculously change because she sees the error of her ways.
This brought up so many negative feelings about how for an entire year SO kissed SDs butt while treating me like I was the bad guy. I had to leave my home so she would come see him and that was still not good enough. I wasn't even home and he was upset with me because of whatever issues he was having with her. She disrespected me with intentionally refusing to follow basic rules when she was at my house and doing things like stealing alcohol.
How SO would not get upset with her because he didn't want to upset the apple cart and instead would get upset with me for having the audacity to bring it to his attention.
I realize he has stopped doing these things and has changed how he treats me in relation to his kids. But I am not ready to forgive and forget. Especially since he still obviously lacks a grasp on his reality.
It's the same for SKs, YSD was made aware they are moving, but believes it's just a bluff. SKs don't believe that real consequences apply to them.
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Comments
Will his mother pick up the
Will his mother pick up the slack and be the heavy for him? I hope not, I agree it would be good for him to deal with on his own.
I'm sure he's well-defended against accepting the reality of how damaged his kids are, but you shouldn't pay the price for that.
I think in a couple months you are going to wonder why you didn't do this sooner.
One thing I recommend doing
One thing I recommend doing is keeping all of your blogs here. Even if you have to go print them all out and keep it like a diary.
YOU NEED TO REMEMBER. It isn't all sugar and rainbows like your DH will claim it is. SD isn't going to change, you know that! Don't let yourself forget how hard this was. How are the decision to live apart was. How she is going to drag you down emotionally and financially and staying apart until she is out of the house is the only way to protect yourself.
Of course he will continue to
Of course he will continue to blame you, blaming you is easier than accepting he's a bad parent. They will move out, your life will improve...his will stay the same or get worse. It will be your fault he's struggling with OSD, it will be your fault you kicked them out so that's why OSD has gotten so much worse. His blame game will never end.
Gee I wonder where his girls
Gee I wonder where his girls got it from ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Are you counting the days?
You sound like you are emotionally ready for him to move out, that's hard but it's good. As an outsider, I say YAH! I would be counting the days! You're going to stay on ST, aren't you? We need your experience and perspective. Good luck!
Definitely counting down the
Definitely counting down the days!! I'm not going anywhere. I am sure I will still have plenty of drama and annoyances even if we live apart.
Probably more so from him, I don't think it will be long before he starts to lose his mind dealing with both SKs by himself. He has his mom for back up. But she is just like me and gets upset with him to step up his parenting.