Oh a thought! Could this be the cause of SS14 Clinginess to DH??

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Ok my last post I talked about SS14 odd/annoying behavior towards DH(see last post).

Now about 5 years ago DH had a huge falling out with his brother DH refuses to have contact with his brother now. SS14 was close to his uncle and since DH refuses to see his brother BM has to bring SS14 to visit his uncle. DH also says things like make sure you do this or that or you will end up like your uncle to SS14. I know families have falling outs but DH is very obvious he does NOT like his brother to SS14. DH will even make fun of his brother's girlfriend to SS14 telling SS14 to stay away from her as she is trash. SS14 has told DH that both the uncle and girlfriend are nice to SS14 but this does not stop DH from saying negative things about them.

So could this be a reason SS14 is so needy/Clingy/jealous of DH? Could SS14 be thinking well dad cut his brother off without a second thought maybe next time it will be me? Thoughts? Am I over reaching?

Maybe. But i think the why

Maybe. But i think the why matters less than, well, what is your husband going to do about it? I'll admit i'm not perfect but when you notice a behavior in your kid that's unacceptable, you have a duty to correct it. Either your DH is unwilling to correct it, or he doesn't want to because the behavior satisfies a need. Possibly a need to be reassured that he, Dad, is the best-loved parent?

There are no words to

There are no words to describe the insane obsession my SD31 has towards DH, and I believe BM. For 25 years, I had been trying to figure out the origin of the obsession to see if it could be fixed because I've been miserable in my marriage because of it. Over the years, I've realized that a parent/child obsession is more than likely, due to more than one reason. I also got sick and tired of coming up with "theory of the week." My previous therapist even told me to stop getting caught up in "theory of the week," because it wasn't going to solve anything. The bio parent of the obsessed child has to handle it properly. The child is that way because of one or both parents having issues themselves and they have at the very least, enabled the child's obsession, and at the most programmed their kid to be that way.

I'm in couples counselling at the moment and about the only thing I can do is let DH know in our next session how SD's obsession with him impacts our marriage and triggers me. I can't control whether or not DH will give a shit or want to do anything to change to improve our marriage. It may very well be that DH will have to go to individual therapy to delve into why he has enabled SD's obsession with him, but if he doesn't want to address it, then that's the issue I'll be looking at. The how and why for SD's obsession is no longer my focus. It's the fact that DH allows it to impact me and our marriage that I am looking at these days.

Just to paint a picture of your future, your SS will not meet milestones when his peers do. He will not get a driver's license and he won't get a romantic partner when his peers do. So, you can't even count on him being home less often and out with other teenagers like normally raised teens do. My SD didn't get her first BF until she was 24 and she didn't launch until she was 25. She still required tuck-in rituals with Daddddeeeeeee at age 23 and would lie with her 5'8" body with her feet hanging over the edge of her little white princess bed with her covers up to her neck and that fucking look on her face while Dadddeeee tucked her in at 23. She was a fucking accountant and yet needed tucking in and her cute little suppy wuppy made for her on her cute little platey watey that Daddeeeee would bring to her while she sat her ass on her computer chair with her leg bent back like toddlers do. Now, she's a mom herself and has been sitting day in and day out since her baby was born a few months ago with him literally on her at all times. SD will complain and post on social media how she has been sitting there for hours and has to pee so badly that she's about to piss her pants but she can't move because her baby is ON her sleeping. She's enmeshing her baby just like her mother did to her and just like she was obsessed with her parents. I thought that once SD would have her baby, she would be a little bit busy and not be able to maintain CONSTANT contact with Dadddeeeeee, but nope! She always has her kid lying on her somehow and she has her phone so she's constantly in communication with DH whether it's texting, instant messenger or facetime. FML!