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Different morals/values

Biostep7777's picture

My DH my ex and I all have very similar morals/values so coparenting is very easy between the 3 of us. HCBM is the opposite of us. My SK are also more like her. How do you deal with this?? Of course we live by our morals and values but oldest SS always has something to say, laughs at us, questions us, gets annoyed that we don't think like him and his disgusting mother, rolls his eyes, tries to debate. It's CONSTANT tension. Him and his mother are extremely toxic. They make fun of people, laugh at people, she wouldn't invite the special needs child in SS class to his birthday party because she didn't want the "weird kid" to "ruin" his party. So sick!  I mean they are nasty nasty people. Youngest SS not so much but he has his moments. They are simply just cruel, mean, non-empathetic people. 

tog redux's picture

The issue really is that your DH can't parent him and tell him to knock it off and respect differences of opinion, because SS doesn't listen. 

Biostep7777's picture

Oh he tells him. He doesn't let him get away with disrespectful behavior. But, you can only do so much! His personality is his personality. Can't change that. 

Rags's picture

True. His personality is his personality. But... DH can damned sure change his kid's behavior by applying effective consequences for inappropriate behavior.  At least while the SKids are with you.

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

Dd6's dad, me, my ex and his new wife could get along and coparent just fine . None of us are high conflict. North Korea is super high conflict and personality disordered and has horrible values, morals and character. My kids are all honor students and have healthy relationships and are well adjusted. My Sd19 is a stripper and does porn for a living and picks abusive batterers for partners. So that's how that story ended 

Stepdrama2020's picture

She didnt want the weird kid to ruin his party

Way to go BM thats how you raise mean spirited nasty people who discriminate and are cruel.

Just reading that part makes me sick to my stomach. Those kids will turn out to be bullies, because of B BM.

Biostep7777's picture

That's exactly my point! They already are bullies and so mean! They just do not care about others what so ever. DH tells him to knock it off but this is just who he is! It's hard to tell a person to change their entire personality ya know? We try to explain that people have different opinions and it's ok and not to laugh, debate ect... but it's just exhausting. 

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

They will probably end up like my SKs, who have no friends because they are bullies and have no social skills. 

 

 

Biostep7777's picture

Yup. 

Stepmonster90's picture

They are not allowed in the house?They don't get to do things they like? No $$? No privileges?...something. they don't have to change who they are, but they have to respect the rules and people when in your home.