Let me start by saying I love and respect my boyfriend, he is 8 years older than me and I was 19 when we got together so sometimes the age difference can show in our relationship and thinking levels. Long story short, 2 months after we were together I became pregnant then a custody battle begin between him and his bm for their 4 yo daughter. I was excited to meet her when the time would come. It started to consume him, then we found out our baby developed a lethal condition and we had to do emergency termination. It was so traumatic for me since wit was covid times and I had to go alone to surgery. I was so torn up and sleeping and crying all the time meanwhile he was crying because he didn't see her as much as he wanted. That really hurt me a lot. I was 19 and never had been in a serious relationship nor had been pregnant. I also had to hide from the house when she first started coming back over, still mourning the death of our baby (alone) I also moved 2 hrs away from my family to be with him so I was literally alone. At first me and his daughter had a great relationship then he started seeing her more and more and got her 50/50. As she grew more comfortable I started seeing how she would manipulate him and would get whatever she wanted. A totally different dynamic and parenting style than I was ever use to. We tried again and got pregnant again and once she found out she has been nonstop talking about how much she can't wait to hold the baby, teach the baby things, feed the baby, push the stroller; which is great but mind you she has adhd so she doesn't talk about it once or twice but ALL day. I've tried so hard to bond but she takes things too far or is just repeatedly saying the same things over and over again. And truly just an annoying kid. I grew up with 3 little sisters, so I'm not new to kids. I've also tried seeing a therapist and talking to other moms but I always get bashed. Im not mean to her I am very patient and sometimes we do have laughs but I know I'm disengaged a lot and I know it bothers him and I feel bad but I can't help it I've tried so hard. I'm legit scared to have the baby because I feel like my motherhood with my child would be threatened due to her wanting to be involved in everything and her dad is wrapped around her finger. I've already discussed with him how emotional I am going to be due to the fact that I am finally carrying to term. Helpppppp I would really consider separating if I felt my boundaries weren't respected. So glad to have a place to vent without being judged