Is this normal?
Do dads get closer to their kids as they get a bit older, eg toddler/young children age? DH has 2 kids from previous relationship that come on wknds. They are 6 & 9, he watches movies cuddling on the couch with them, coaches their soccer teams, takes them mototrbike riding and fishing etc. he is always talking about what he wants to do with them next or where he wants to take them. They basically take up all of our time as it is.
My worry is that he never wants to hang out with our baby (6 months) I know babies are hard work and needier. Could that just be it? As soon as I walk in the room he hands baby back to me and doesn't really seem interested in any of the activities baby has such as his first swimming lesson. He gets annoyed if baby is climbing all over him. I'm also worried that when baby is the same age he won't be bothered anymore with coaching to footy team or watching kids movies with him. Am I being paranoid or will baby always be in the shadow because he is the third son? I want him to get the same time and attention as skids currently get. Or will skids just be teenagers then and continue to take all of the time and DH will still he preoccupied with them more. Help!
A lot of people are just not
A lot of people are just not "baby people". There's a limited number of things you can do with a baby Vs older kids. His kids are at the fun age when just about everything is possible and your dh might also be living things with them that he would have loved to have done when he was a kid himself but never got to ... Don't worry, teenage years are just around the corner and they are going to have more to do with their friends and want to spend less time with dad. Also, when they reach their teens, your baby will be at the fun age!
I'd say not to worry too much about this yet and see how things pan out in the next couple of years. I'd also make sure to keep trying to get your dh involved in your baby's life though - he doesn't get to opt out just because it's not as much fun as he'd like. Can you get him to take the baby for his swimming lessons?
A lot of men are not that
A lot of men are not that interested in babies, they don't know what to do with them or are afraid of hurting them.
In my experience, yes! When
In my experience, yes! When our DD was an infant, DH would help with her, but mostly spent time with the SDs. DD clearly preferred me (breastfeeding, so no surprise there). As she's gotten a little older (she's one) she's shown more interest in DH, and as a result he's shown more interest in her.
From what I've heard from others, it was the same way with SD5, except she was even older when she warmed up to him. He was better with SD8 as a baby, but she was the only child then. SD5 was a year old when I met DH, and he was much closer to SD8 at that time (I was actually shocked to see the favoritism). It leveled out as SD5 got older, and I'm expecting to see the same with DD. I think my DH isn't a baby person, and he definitely reacts to how the kids are with him, so if they seem to prefer me, he tends to leave them to me.
He's probably not a baby
He's probably not a baby person. I also felt sensitive about this while our baby was younger.
If he's an engaged and active father to the older kids then most likely he will be to your son too. Just be patient and give it time.
The 'baby' is now the apple of DH's eye and he's amazing with her. But he was pretty much useless until she was about 2. I think some men just aren't comfortable with younger children.
I think if you're a good parent then you tend to be a good parent to all your kids. But some people are more comfortable with certain ages.