dont know what to do
i wouldnt say i was a step parent per say, my boyfriend has a nine year old son that he has full cusody of and im moving in with him this week. ive recently met his son in the past few days. hes a nice kid and all but my only problem is that he tends to call me mommy and i feel kind of uncofterble by it, my and his dad has been to gether for a while and all but i feel like my relationship with his son is too new to be called mommy. my boyfriend corrects him and tells his son my name but his son stayed at my house the past couple nights, my boyfriend recently started a new job. im just woundering if i should correct him as well or just tell my boyfriend how i feel about it? the first time he called me mommy i just kind of nervoused laughed cause i wasnt expecting it. i just dont know what to do
Where is is bio mother?
I think you are making a mistake by moving in since you just met the son in the past few days.
Sounds like your boyfriend wants you to take over some of the parenting responsibilities for this boy. Although he may correct what his son calls you, he obviously needs your help in caring for him.
I wouldn't be moving in if I were you.
How long have you been dating
How long have you been dating this guy that he has custody of his son and you've only just met him? That alone, is weird. And he's nine, just met you, and calling you Mommy?
I'll tell you exactly what to do, get the hell out of this "relationship". You are being manipulated, big time. No nine year old calls some woman he just met "Mommy" without someone telling him to.
I've seen horror movies that started like this.
All of this. Strange..
All of this. Strange..
i think your BF wants someone
i think your BF wants someone to mother his kid,, be VERY careful here ! I wouldnt be moving in with them
Agree. This is a Big Red Flag
You are moving to fast. Just meeting the kid and moving in. Big No. Start with a weekend, visit
What with BF starting a new job. What does that mean ? Who is going to do child care when he is working? I would let him work this out first for a few month
I'm confused too. If you've
I'm confused too. If you've been together for a while, why have you never met the kid, given that he's got full custody? Sounds like he's been preparing his son for his new Mommy and that's scary. Put the brakes on here.
"my only problem is that he
"my only problem is that he tends to call me mommy and i feel kind of uncofterble by it"
Are you uncomfortable about it because his biological mother or her relatives might be upset? That can need sensitive handling if they might be prickly.
If that is not the issue then I don't really see a problem with his doing this. It is possible that your boyfriend has coached him to do it, but it sounds unlikely if he corrected him when he did it. Kids his age will sometimes do this, especially if they think of the words involved in terms of interactive relationship rather than biological relationship. If to him the word 'mom' equals 'woman who loves my dad and cares for me' then it may well just seem to him to be the obvious thing to call you. It is also possible that he has noticed other children calling their mother 'mom' and has felt how much he would like to have someone he could say that to as well - so now you are there he is jumping at the chance, and jumping in a bit faster than you might have expected.
I think the person whose opinion is most important here is the child. In my case, as long as my (step)daughter is happy for me to refer to her as my daugther, I will suffer no other challenge to my priviledge.
I get called 'granddad' by a boy whose grandmother split up with me nearly two decades before he was born. No-one coached him to do it, he just did one one day then carried on. I have refrained from quizing him about it, but I expect he just noticed the similarity between the way his father and his (biological) grandfather related to each other and the way his father and I do, and applied the same term to both older men around him.
Red flags, alarm bells, etc..
Red flags, alarm bells, etc..... Do not move in with this needy daddy and his mommy trolling bait.
That said, I was the first person my SS-28 called Dad(dy). His mom and I met when he was 15mos old and married a week before he turned 2yo. He started talking a few weeks after we started dating. No one told him to do it. He just knew I was his Daddy. Even though there was a big picture of the Spermidiot on the wall of my then GF's apartment.