The last straw
Last night was the last straw. After 6 years of raising my wife's kid I get treated like crap.
so I talked to my wife about having a child of my own and she told me that she didn't want a 18 year bill. She also said that if she got pregnant by me that she would get an abortion.
this is a the last time I deal with someone with kids ever again!
Of course the child's father is a damn loser jail bird who paid no child support in the whole 6 years
what pisses me off the most is that she acts like a baby is such a huge inconvenience when I put up with being inconvenienced for 6 years raising her kid without complaint!
all the while that damn loser jail bird baby daddy got a free ride with no responsibilities. After 6 years of playing family man to another mans family this is my thanks! Never again!
all the thousands of dollars spent just to be told I'm no t good enough when I want my own kids
I'm good enough to be a step father but not good enough to be a "real father"
and I can't go for that. I told her last night I want a divorce. If I'm not good enough to have my own kids then your kid is not good enough for me to take care of her
let the loser jail bird take care of his own damn kid. For real. I'm done with these people!
this is my first and last time that I ever be a damn stepparent. It's the worst job on earth period!!!!
I wouldn't wish being a stepparent on my worst enemy. These users want you to treat their kids like gold but have the nerve to act funny when you want your own kids!
I would definitely say this
I would definitely say this is a deal breaker - when one partner wants a bio child and the other does not. Your wife sounds pretty awful tbh. You don't get any appreciation on fathers day after stepping in to help raise her bio. I'm also assuming you're footing the bill for what the bio father can't pay.
Did you discuss this issue before marriag at all?
Cut your ties and either meet someone childless or someone on the same page as you with wanting more children. Good luck!
Yes she told me she wanted
Yes she told me she wanted more kids before we got married. That was a main point that we discussed
she Promised to give me a child after nursing school. But instead she just used me to get through nursing school
I let her use my gi bill for nursing school becuase she promised a baby. This happened while we was married
i feel like she switched up after she started making that nursing money.
I'm ready to cut her and her family and her kid out of my life for good. I'm done with this stepparent bs
in her eyes I'm good enough to be a step dad but not good enough to be a real dad.
she used me to help get her kid into adulthood. Her kid is 16 in a few months.
My wife was pregnant by me years ago but she claim it was a miscarriage
to be honest I think she aborted my child back then.
I'm sorry, this all stinks
I'm sorry, this all stinks for you. I don't think all people with kids are users, but this sure sounds like she used you.
Sounds like divorce is a good option.
Sorry
I'm sorry, that must have been crushing, especially at this time of the year. If you want a child, then divorce seems like your option. I know you are reasonably angry with the ex, but you know who you're really angry with.
*preved*Thank you so much. It
*preved*Thank you so much. It took me years to see it but I see that I deserve better than to be a consolation prize to someone that wants me as a security blanket.
2021 will be my year to be selfish for once and be worried about myself. All the things I wasn't able to do I will now be able to do
6 months ago
You were very upset and were ready to leave.
You are at the same spot 6 months later.
Time to lawyer up. Get your financial ducks in a row. Get all your assets lined up and protected. Depending on where you are located, you might be on the hook for alimony, and in California after 10 years its for the rest of your life potentially. Good thing you found out now, before you are more than 10 years in.
Go total no contact. So she cannot make more promises she can go back on. Its very common that steppers land in this situation - we can pay, and support, and help raise someone elses kid, but our needs are last on the list and "oh, I cant pay for any more kids...." or whatever. The bait and switch is very common. Some folks get very cold and calculating and will date and marry someone who is simply a "good provider", because doing it alone is HARD.
My Dh is kind of like that. But I am too old for children at this point. We were in our 40's when we got together.Late 40's.
You are young enough to start over. And the time to start is now.
Luckily she is a nurse and
Luckily she is a nurse and makes more money than me so I won't have to worry about alimony. I will be happy once it's over.
Im plotting my finical escape as we speak. It's a lesson learned that's for sure.
nothing is worse than a bait a switch. I got married with the expectation of having my own children and she knew that.
it was so hurtful when she said those things but im
glad her true colors came out now.
I gave her a chance to do right but she showed that she only cares about herself and her kid.
I refuse to be dead last and not have my own kids. That's to much for me to accept. I treated her child as if she was my own. I sacrificed a lot just to be spit on
i won't lie it hurts and it will take a long time before I trust again. I opened my heart to her child just to be betrayed.
You need to exit...
If she doesn't put you first, then you need to leave. I understand your level of committment, but you are young-enough to have another life.
Being a martyr gets you nowhere - do what's best for you (and your sanity).
Just leave. This will never
Just leave. This will never ever get better. Re-read and see just how angry and over it you really are. Best.
unbelievable
She doesn't mind you supporting her "18 year bill" but lord forbid you want one of your own. I'd wonder if after putting all this effort into raising her offspring she won't just up and leave you when the job is done..