Step Son - Man Child living in our house
I am a step mom to a man child!! Step son is 21yrs old, no school, no job, doesn't drive, no rent, and father pays for his monthly cell phone bill because I refuse to!! Almost a year ago Step Son became a born again Christian that wont stop preaching, makes numerous Biblical YouTube Videos in our house! He doesn't believe in Covid rules and that God will save him, yet puts us at risk because he "needs" to go out and bless someone/ANYONE! He walks to supermarkets, convenience stores, big box stores....ANYWHERE really where he can stop people in their tracks and preach the 'ol mighty lord! He's 110% out of control and I can't even make eye contact or he'll start on me! I've come to the point of being rude because both his father and myself don't practice religion in our home and I've had enough. His father says, "well it's better than smoking crack" He's driving me crazy in my own home and I avoid him as much as possible!
My partner for 17yrs has had full custody of his son since the age of 2 in a major court battle where the judge sided with the father over the mother who lives 10 minutes away from us. Bio mother has NEVER paid child support, nor raised, nor contributed, no emotional bond. StepSon would visit when it was on her terms and it wasn't very often. I have helped raise StepSon since the age of 4yr old.....physically, emotionally, financially.
I have two adult children (son 28) daughter (31) of my own from a previous marriage which no longer live with us. Early in the relationship, all 5 of us were living under the same roof. Partner became EXTREMLY hard on my kids to the point of ABUSE....especailly to my son who he threw out of the house (the day after my daughters wedding) and with no regard where he was going to sleep, because my son took to drugs (weed) and drinking to mask his pain this man was causing. I was torn between my son and my partner.....my life was a living hell in the house!
My kids bio kids are now successful and their own homes. This past summer my 21yr old step son decided he was going to "heal" his mother who doesn't live too far from us and go live with her. I had 6 months of BLISS, CALM, PEACE, JOY, NO ANXIETY, it was awesome just my partner and myself kidless and free to move on with our lives into retirement.......then the breaks hit! Unknowingly, (and with help from his partner), StepSon moved back in my house while I was out of town...my anxiety shot through the roof, and my feeling were put on the back burner. I was "told" he's staying and not going anywhere!! Someone please help me just get my house back! I have a Man Child that does nothing but preach the lord and a partner who enables him to freeload!
Honestly, he sounds like he
Honestly, he sounds like he might be mentally ill. But you've already put up with your partner abusing your kids and stayed, and he's made it clear SS isn't going anywhere - so I don't know that we can help you.
I don't want him in my house
My dilema is my DH's priorities. He puts his adult child first....and mentions he'll take care of his son, as his parents took care of him. After 17yrs being together he says "you have your family and I only have my son" This adult child is 21yrs old and has a mother that lives 10 minutes away in a house with an extra bedroom. She has never raised her son in any way, shape or form. Skid went to "bond" with her for the past 6months and then decides he's moving back to our house without the father talking about it to me. DH is compensating for his loser ex wife that told her son "I wish you were never born" They only had the one child...go figure! Skid was VERY abusive to me in his teens. Lived like a bat....slept all day and playing Fort Night all night. Then a year ago he snapped and took the Lord into his life. He stopped smoking weed, drinking, swearing, mushrooms were is favorite! So he's become a very polite, calm, helping individual, but my problem is I want my privacy in my own home. Keep the bathroom and bedroom door open if I want to.....come and go with the calm of an empty house (or just the DH and myself). But DH's son comes first and not someone he chose to be with for the rest of his life. Skid needs to go back to his mothers where she can raise this 21yr old and make up for lost time! The reason he decided to come back....."my mother was doing renovations"
Why did you stay with a man
Why did you stay with a man who was abusing your kids? I'd pack up and leave, myself, if he didn't get his kid launched and out of the house pronto.
Encourage DH to seek
Encourage DH to seek professional medical help for his son.