You aren't being unreasonable. That is absolutely ridiculous that your husband would even suggest that a five year old get to name your new baby. No no no!

Why tf would a child get to pick any part of their siblings name?  That is such a ridiculous suggestion, and of course when you logically said no it leads to you not liking his child.

And just like others have asked, why are you paying his child support?

Of course, you are not being unreasonable but your husband is.

My parents told me I could name my younger sister. When she was born, lo and behold I was not consulted! Scarred me for life (just joking).

Your husband is a fool. You've given him a fine way (choosing from 3 specified names) to involve his son, and instead he chooses to go to the divorced Disney Dad playbook and tell you his son isn't important to you.  If he's not careful, you might catch on to his ridiculousness and stop paying his obligations for him.

When my younger cousin was born, her sister was nearly 3. She suggested naming her sister Tugboat. Thankfully, my aunt did not give her control over picking the name. 

Who picked your SS's middle name? Unless his son's middle name is some Paw Patrol character, your DH should back off and stop making this about his kid. 

Parents decide on the name for their children, they can take suggestions from others, but ultimately that's their choice. It's one of the first decisions parents make collectively for their child. 

Why would a kid get to name their sibling? That seems very odd to me. It's not a pet. Get him a fish and he can name that (lowest maintenance pet I could think of).

Somehow I got distracted from the 'naming' issue by you paying for Child Support for HIS kid.  Let him pay for his kid and save the money for the baby.  Your DH sounds irrational.  

YOU pick the name for the baby.  It looks like you will be the one supporting him.

Hell no you are not being unreasonable.

Your DH needs to stop worshipping his prior relationship child and put his marriage before the kid. Including the one you are both expecting.

You pick the names for the baby. I would not trust that DH wouldn't discuss it with the Skid and "choose" the baby's name based on what SS says.

Tell DH to take the Skid to pick a stuffed animal for the baby and to name that.  That gets the Skid involved without branding the baby with a name picked by the Skid as a continuoing source of irritation for you.

And no more paying your deadbeat DH's CS or skid insurance. Tell him to get an F-in job and support his non joint child himself and to not forget to support half of all of your household and family related expenses while he is at it.

smh

Now for a question. Why would you breed with a man not capable of supporting his prior relationship child, supporting you, and supporting any child you may have together?  Equity life partnership requires equity effort from both partners but that does not include one partner paying for the other partner's baggage when that baggage bearing parent partner refuses to step up to their responsibilities. Not your kid, not a CO against you for CS or insurance, not your problem.  DH needs to man up.

Take care of you, take care of your baby and name your child as YOU see fit.

"Well since I clearly care more about your kid than you do since I'm paying YOUR CHILD SUPPORT, and since I'm the one CARRYING THE BABY, my vote counts for two, and I say we give SS a selection of names. And if you want ANY say in that selection, or even want to know your child's name before I give birth, I highly suggest you remove your head from your rectal cavity. Otherwise, you can wait for the birth announcement in the waiting room like everyone else. Do I make myself abundantly clear?"

Mantrums need to be shut down instantly. If he wants to be an arse, point it out to him immediately. He doesn't get to not take care of his own kid and then dictate to you how you'll deal with both his children. It doesn't work like that.

oh helllllllllllllll to the NO. Not a chance. Say NO and stick to it.

I have 4 bio kids and not one single time did I ever consider letting any of them choose a siblings name. Even if/when I asked if they liked the choices I listed.....and they said no....it did not make or break my decision.

Your baby, your choice.

On a similar note.....our baby is 1....and before we knew the gender...DH was hinting that the baby be named after him which would have made the baby a 3rd generation of that name if she would have been a boy. I said no, not a chance in hell.....because both Skids are girls and were going to be named after DH if they had been boys.....I was like.....DH...there is no way on this planet that I am using your recycled baby boy name from your kids with your EX wife on OUR child.....I am sorry that it happens to be a family name...but it just wasn't gonna  happen. Thankfully, we had a girl.

I'm completely stuck on the child support part. I've told my SO even if I hit the lottery I wouldn't pay for child support. I caved one time when he didn't have the money but was paid back. It sounds like you're being used and manipulated.

This is ridiculous.  There are many ways to help a sibliling adjust to a new baby that do not put them in the position of a parent but can make them feel loved and help them to grow thier love for the new child. 

If your husband really cannot see this from your point of view then perhaps talking it through together with a therapist may help...I suspect there is more to this issue than just the name and therapy for you both could be beneficial to start working through some of these things before the baby arrives. 

Only 2 people have naming rights!!! The man responsible for the sperm and the woman responsible for the egg. Anybody else doesn’t have a right to name the kid and your husband doesn’t get to make executive decisions.

shortlisted names should be submitted by hubby at no later than a month before due date. Understandably say if you could never get a clear shot of the face of bubs during scans sometimes you just can’t narrow it down and agree to decide after the birth on the shortlisted name but no skid of mine will ever be able to say well i think you should name bubs blah blah blah. All that would come out of my mouth is the usual drawn out condescending Noooooooo for skids who are out of line. 

By the way your husband is gaslighting you, its not going his way so he sulks and manipulates you into a corner... in my case since skids do not respect any of us, actively cause issues and treat us as strangers, the thought of them getting naming rights to a baby who came out of my vagina or stomach is laughable

what in the actual hell did I just read?! I've seen a lot of craziness on the site, but this ranks up there in terms of WTF factors. He wants a 5 YEAR OLD from a previous relationship to name his child with you?! Then gets mad at you when you say no to that?!!! Then gaslights YOU telling you you don't love his kid because you dare to not let a freaking 5 year old name a kid?!?! AND YOU'RE THE ONE FOOTING THE BILL FOR HIS KID?!?! 

Sorry, my head is just exploding taking this all in.

You're not wrong. Don't give in, and FFS-- stop paying the child support for HIS kid.

Think about it like this: your guy doesn't pay child support for his existing child.  One day you will likely be the mother of a child who's deadbeat ex doesn't pay you any child support. Therefor, I suggest you divert 100% of the CS you are currently paying for another woman's child into a savings account for your own child.   

DH and BM let older ss choose younger ss's name. Poor younger ss has never went by his legal first name.  Child centric parenting doesn't work!  When ss is a man and has his own baby he can have a say in naming a kid.  The baby is coming out of your vagina so you get the final say on what it's name will be.   

SHUT DOWN your H's manipulative thinking OP. Call him out on this nonsense. If you don't now, can you imagine what else he'll want to give his son authority over? 

Also as others have asked, why are YOU paying for your H's obligations? Since you're so kindly supporting his son, he can shut the heck up about who and what you name your unborn child. 

Noooooooooooooooo

no. no. no. helllllllllll noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

The thoought alone is gross. If I were you, I'd just agree with your husband the next time he tells you that you don't like his kid. I couldn't even imagine letting a skid name one of my children. I couldn't even be bothered to have her in the hospital at all before or after the baby was born. That would've required me to care for her instead of my newborn, and I wasn't having it.

Oh hell no.  No to the Skid naming your baby, and not only no but hell no to you paying your deadbeat DH's CS obligation on his failed family progeny.

Your idiot husband has confronted you about not caring about his failed family progeny (SS-5) while you are paying for the Skids health insurance and paying your idiot deadbeat DH'S CS obligation. Really? How much more of a clueless characterless honor-less ass could you have chosen to sire your child?

smh

File for divorce, move far, far, away before the baby is due, and do not burden your baby with this idiot's shallow and polluted gene pool by putting your idiot hopefully STBXH's name on the birth certificate. Whatever you do, DO NOT have another child with this dipshit.

All IMHO of course.

Beyond that, I have no words.

No way! That's your baby, you choose the name. If things ever don't work out you could feel resentment later on from letting some kid name your child. My MIL wanted me to let my SD name my baby or name it after her. I thought the idea was insane. I think it sets up a really unhealthy boundary. Plus it's just weird. When does 5 year old become so entitled that they are allowed to name another human being?

so......

what was the name that ss chose? Is he super upset that he isnt choosing it? I bet not.

Time to get your husband a job!!!