I envy his ex
Hey guys:)
I wanted to get advice on dealing with envy towards my husband's ex wife. Life just seems to be going super well for her lately. She got the house after the divorce, we are living in an apartment. She has the kids, we need to get on flights to see them. She is planning her wedding im November while my husband and I had to get married just the two of us in March (due to Covid, me being from Germany, borders were closed etc.). I just feel like her life is amazing while I am dealing with not being able to see friends and family from Germany, dealing with the loss of my husband's job, being far from my stepchildren..
I know things will get better and we will get to where we wanna be soon!
Have you ever felt the same about your husband's ex and what made you feel better?
I don't care what BM does. I
I don't care what BM does. I used to but I would just remind myself that she is a bitch so why concern myself with her. There's no need to look at her social media. Who cares about that B.
There are things that I
There are things that I admire about bm but I also know there are things she admires about me too. We're different people with different abilities and different experiences.
She too got the house after their divorce she supported dh through law school so of course, she deserves to reap the benefits of that. Just like any of you would.
As you said you will get there.
Her life is a facade and nothing to be envied. She is projecting
what she wants the world to see. She's probably a FB and other social media junkie. Be leery of those posting all their "I'm so happy" photos, or presenting that way to the world.
Not sure how long they've been divorced, but it seems like she was seeing her current husband while married to your husband.
People who have to have "things" never get the true meaning of life. They are hollow souls with insatiable appetites for the matierialistic things of life.
You can bet beneath her phony veneer, there is much emptiness, and dissatistfacton with her life.
I've seen people like this, and they think because they've got the fanciest home, car and the biggest diamond on their hand that they are fooling the world. Not always, (you can never lump everyone into on subgroup) but more times than not when I've encountered these types, I've learned the bigger the diamond the greater the misery. They are only intersted in projecting perfection to the world, when, in reality they are miserable.
You are doing it right. Do not envy her. There is nothing to envy, and be so grateful you all do not have the kids. I can guarantee you their "honeymoon" will be short lived with her kids around most of the time.
To answer your final question; I am not envious of the BM ex in the least. She's a miserable fat mess who lives in the past. When we would attend functions and she was there, she'd always ask if DH still did "XYZ" because he always did that when they were together. Truly, she is nothing to be envied, and neither is your man's ex. Do not give it another thought.
Armed with this reality you can put your mind at ease, carry on, and enjoy your man!
Are you so sure?
Are you sure her life is going so well? Sometimes we may spend our free time thinking about the wrong things. Do you have things you can do to preoccupy your thoughts? Hobby, work, talking to friends?
Don't pay attention to what
Bm is doing, it'll only wind you up. Her life probably isn't so perfect anyway whether she pretends it is.
Bm here thinks she's one of those real housewives off a TV show, she's got the same entitled attitude but looks like miss piggy. The only thing I ever slightly envied, not just her but women who get loads of childcare help so they can continue a career. She took that one to the extreme, she's done very well, but now her kids a mess. I'm happily cleaning toilets in a gym etc so I'm always there for dd.
Bio mum here actively uses sd’s including sd25 to make herself
Relevant to my husband and like she is a priority and friggin mother theresa in our lives.
i just wanna reiterate how irrelevant she is and that hubby's peni* is only wanting to enter me regularly, not exwife. He doesn't care for her. Took my husband 1.5 yrs to finally grow balls and tell his sd25 she was consistently rude and disrespectful to rant on about bio mum and stepdad like they're members of our family when they aren't.
hubby reminded her that i am his wife and that my place was with him and that hubby didn't care one iota about bio mum and stepdad since the divorce. Heck why would he?? He upgraded in marrying me
OP, focus on what you can do
OP, focus on what you can do to make your own life better rather than on her. She "got the house" usually means that your DH agreed to that so his kids wouldn't have to move. Did you guys choose to move away from her, or did she move away from you? You obviously chose to move to the country you are in. So what do you need to be happy? She didn't win the lottery. She has struggles too.
I would think of it like this
I would think of it like this. If BM was worth a crap, your DH would still be married to her.
Do not envy crap. Enjoy your life.
I get the loss of your DH's job. I lost mine 18+mos ago which was ~70% of our marital income. It is painful. Fortuneately we have always kept our housing, cars, life style, etc... modest compared to our income so my incredible bride makes more than enough to support us.
This economy and the job market will recover.
I also just was approved for disaster related unemployement due to Covid killing the job market so I now have another 6mos of unemployment benefits that will take a bit of pressure off of my bride hopefully until I have landed my next role.
Deep breaths.
This too shall pass.