Good evening everyone,

This is my first post. I'm so happy to have found this page. So much has been eating away at me and I honestly need input from others going through the same hell. I've (31) been married to my DH (32) since 2017. Dated him for a year. This could have been a mistake on my part. At the time, I left my abusive POS ex of almost 7 years for my husband. Everything was great. We had a lot in common, enjoyed each other's company, etc. I fell in love with him and he did as well. I knew he had a son from a previous relationship. It wasn’t a serious one and DH knocked her up. SS was 3 at the time we started dating. I've never had kids nor had any experience with kids before this. I really had no clue. It seemed okay to me at the time. And he only had him every other weekend. But then, I started noticing I just didn't like it. I didn't care for the kid. And then seeing how disgusting and selfish his BM was made it worse. Always disposing of my SS and putting him off on my father-in-law who I've seen personally do horribly at raising kids. My DH many times did not know she would do this. My SS is 7 but acts like he's 4. Super rude and doesn't know how to talk to his elders and literally talks like he's about 5. I usually correct him professionally and respectfully but he still acts like a spoiled asshat. I hate to admit it, but once he started coming around more I realized I just don't like the kid. I don't hate him though. I still treat him with respect and care; he'll never know that I really don't care about being around him. My DH does NOT help with the situation. I literally try my best but it's never good enough for him. He has told me in the past that I NEED to bond with HIS kids. Forcing it upon me. He almost acts like I treat them like garbage which I do not and never will. My form of dealing with his kids is just simply avoiding them and doing other things away from them. It's like my only coping mechanism to keep me sane. I still interact with them, it’s not a complete avoidance but when I’m not feeling it I just retreat to “my hole.”

Now, you probably noticed I said "kids." AFTER we got married, his ex GF that he dated right before me texted him one day and tells him that he has a daughter and starts flooding his phone with baby pics. DH and myself did not know what to think about this. This is another woman who is in fact a habitual liar, cheater, and a thief. Both DH and myself believed she was lying about this so called daughter. Fast forward a couple of years later, this other POS baby mama decided to apply for Medicaid. DH had to take a DNA test for the kid. The results came back 99.999%. I was completely devastated. It seriously felt like my whole world was just done for. And on top of that, I found out from the paperwork sitting on the countertop in plain view after I got home from work. DH couldn't even bother to tell me. Then he was sleeping on top of that. He wasn't even working at the time so I woke his ass up and brought it up. He just rolled over and went back to sleep. That still bothers me to this day.
I am the breadwinner of the marriage and have been since we started dating. The financial problems we have are all of his. I have absolutely no debt and my added finances are all because of him. It has been causing so much resentment and stress. DH is always telling me that everything will get better and I won't have to worry about it anymore. He has been telling me these lies for years. I'm so sick of it. I know he means well, but because of how long it's been I honestly feel like I’m being used or taken advantage of.

Now, his other POS baby mama who has his daughter (she's now 4) doesn't want to step up as mother and is now lying to her parents and stealing money from them. Her own parents kicked her out of their house because they can't deal with her **** anymore! So now, DH has decided to take my SD and she's now living with us. I'm so pissed off and stressed out. I never signed up for this. I'm tired of paying for all of the bills plus a large amount of his own bills! Now I have to worry about a kid in my house destroying everything and now I have more bills added to my life because of this? He wants me to put her on my insurance and **** which would add another $100. My DH isn't even that great of a father. The house is always a ******* mess and all I do is work 16 hour shifts constantly. I just feel so unhappy and miserable. I don't know what to do but I'm really considering just throwing in the towel. I don't want to but nothing is getting better and it just seems like everything is getting worse. When I confront DH about his kids he gets insanely defensive and shuts down. I honestly feel like I’m with a man-child while dealing with his baggage. I don’t want to talk bad about him but he does very little for me. I’m not even a high maintenance type of person. All I want is love and affection and he ignores me most of the time. He’d rather play video games then pay attention to me. There’s so many more cons than pros and I don’t want to think like this. I want this to work but I’m so miserable now. Please everyone, I need your advice. I really do want this work, I just want to be happy ☹