how many times is too many times to say love you in a day? or an hour?
Actual conversation of pathetic SD 18 and her boyfriend. Her dad really set her up for relationship failure:
SD: I'm home. love you
BF: I'm glad you made it home safe babe (3 heart emojis)
SD: I love you
SD: no I love you?
SD: you havent' been sayin it and everytime I say it you don't seem like you want to say it.
SD Well I'll just leave you be I'm sorry
SD: going to shower
SD: done
(Yes she texted him 6 times while he is trying to work and they work together at a pizza place, he delivers and cooks dpeneding on the dep, either way he shouldn't have his phone in his hand, phone + driving is bad as well as phone with cooking in a restaurant, phones are dirty yuck)
BF: Im sorry babe i love you i didn't mean to i got very busy i'm sorry i didn't say it it wasn't intentional i love you so much im really sorry (heart emoji, just one this time lol)
SD: it's just even this morning and last night i would say it and you barely said it
BF: I said it babe. you think i don't love you?
SD: I do know you love me but I dont know when i say it and you dont it upsets and worries me
BF: ok babe i'll pay more attention i deidnt realize. i love you so much
SD: It's ok i'm sorry
BF: I'm sorry i love you
SD: its ok i'm sorry i love you. im sorry
time passes and SD is getting ready to go to work where BF also works
SD: I'm leaving for starbucks I love you
BF: ok i love you be safe
SD: at starbucks i love you
SD: I'm leaving. I love you
BF: Ok be safe. I love you. I'll have your pasta waiting.
SD: OK thank you. i love you. i'm waiting for a train to pass right now
BF OK babe
SD i'm here
BF How are you feeling?
SD: AWFUL
SD: love you too!
BF: I said I love you when you were walking away (they've already been reprimanded for arguing at work and making people uncomfortable)
BF: I'm giving you some time to cool down I need to get in the kitchen
SD: (too much ranting to type but this poor guy lol)
This kind of shit goes on all day because this is what her and her dad do all day. Now she does it with her boyfriend too. Yesterday when DH got home form work he checked SDs location and then said SD is at work. I asked when he was going to stop with the location shit with the adult girls. He said it is for safety and justified it to himself. Im glad I do not have an iphone for him to track me.
This is just a continuation of what Ihad posted a couple days ago speaking of how he has f'd up all 4 of his children with his emotional need to be wanted, needed and loved 24/7. How did I end up here and not see this before. I didn't move in until I got married and that was a mistake.
- Chmmy's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
This made me throw up in my
This made me throw up in my mouth a little *bad*
She inherited her father's
She inherited her father's clinginess!
OMG---is he this way with YOU
OMG---is he this way with YOU?
BM, Granny and Grandpa and her kids were the same way. LOVE you, love you LOVE YOU, love you, LOVE YOU, love you.
.
The 'babe' thing is creepy. Sorry you are dealing with this. I couldnt.
Remember op, it is ok to say "I made a mistake" and cut your looses. JMO
((((HUGS)))))
He is not this way with me
He is not this way with me because I don't allow it. I've told him it cheapens I love you when you say it all day. He says it like a good bye on the phone and so does his entire family. Every text conversation and phone conversations ends in love you for him, his brothers and sisters and his mom which is fine when you talk a couple times a week but DH and his daughters do this all day. Leaving for store. love you; ok love you: leaving store love you: ok see you soon love you; i'm home love you; ok thanks love you; going to work love you; ok love you; at work love you...you get the gist. This is the content of their conversations. There is no substance to their conversations. He tries to make conversation with them and it is so awkward. He will ask the stupidest things over and over just to talk and they say "Dad I already told you". He repeats himself a lot just for something to say. He tries but I'm glad he is not the father of my kids. He's really bad at it lol.
I have meaningful conversations with my kids on a regular basis but not the constant contact. My kids and I are close but able to function independently.
*bad*
*bad*
Sounds like a boyfriend/girlfriend text exchange. Between 15-year-olds.
Tog I thought the very same
Tog I thought the very same thing.
With DH's family, every
With DH's family, every goodbye or phone/text signoff involves "love you!" multiple times. It's just a warm family culture, I think, because DH's family isn't dysfunctional or codependent.
BUT... it probably normalized the lovebombing BM used to lock down DH, and sadly I see all the same patterns in my OSS's GF. OSS thinks her neediness and smothering behavior (similar to OP's example) is... normal affection. Ugh.
My SD's huband constantly
My SD's huband constantly checks up on her. She rarely visits, but when she does we can count on at least one, and often more calls from her husband. If she doesn't answer her cell or text back, he calls our land line. Before SD visits, DH and I each guess how long it will be before he calls.
What is shocking to me is how easily SD adapted to the constant check in. They now even have cameras for the main areas of the house. How do we know? The grandskids say that their dad watches them on his work breaks and talks to them if they are not behaving. I could never live this way.
At 18 normal kids, bio and step, should be pulling away and wanting to live their own lives. The only reason to text that you are leaving the store now is if you are bringing home an essential ingredient for preparing supper or the wrench needed to stop the water leak flowing from under the sink. Parents, while always going to worry, should not be checking their adult child's whereabouts constantly.
Your DH is going to be devastated if/when SD turns off family sharing.
She is insecure...
She is insecure...
She is definitiely insecure
She is definitiely insecure and this is almost normal for a teen even if it is immature but it goes on all day every day. She is constantly making him prove his love to her like she and the other 3 skids do to DH. There are a lot of things I have put a stop to in this dysfunctional household but I cant fix everything and DH resents me for nitpicking but it a horror show to watch. I stopped the nitpicking because for everything I change or make better there are more dysfuctional family traits to follow. I will never keep up
Look on the bright side
If she is texting BF so often AND working, perhaps she won't have as much time to text with DH so often.
I heard all this "I love you" stuff between BM and her kids when the SKs lived here. She wasn't seeing them in person altho she only lived about 20 miles away. She didn't take them on weekends or during school vacation altho they almost begged. She provided nothing material, never asked about their school progress. The only time we heard from her was to register a complaint if one of the kids whined about something we did. Yeah, "I loovvvve" you.
That was one of the most
That was one of the most ridiculous text conversations I've ever read. Those two are just not emotionally healthy.
My DH and his family are very into saying I love you. They end every conversation with it, they text it around, they post it on facebook. Not just with family members, but with friends - heck, with acquaintances. My family, on the other hand, rarely says I love you. DH once commented on that fact, and compared his mother, who drops I love yous like they're going out of style, with my parents, who rarely say it. I asked him if he thought my parents didn't love me because they don't say it every time we talk on the phone. His response: It's obvious from what they do for us and how they treat us that they love you a great deal. I said OK, then. I prefer love that's shown by actions, not words - words are cheap. He hasn't mentioned it since.
DH is pathetic. I can't
DH is pathetic. I can't anymore. He's texting SD18 about some side work that he does for her boss and asking if the guy gave her the money She said yes and then he responds with:
You crabby?
No
You never talk to me
I'm talking to you now
But long pauses
I'm doing my hair
Then he starts talking about what he is going to buy her this weekend from the store because that gets her attention. Seriously he needs someone to shoot him and get him out of his misery.
He's as bad as the boyfriend!
He's as bad as the boyfriend!
Needy
Has he always been this needy?
I did not allow him to do
I did not allow him to do this kind of crap with me so he didn't but with the kids, yes he has always been needy and I didn't realize how needy until I started reading his pathetic messages. I don't think I can have sex with him ever.
Barf.
Barf.
You know how it could get worse?
Throw in religion. BM does the same but it's "love you and god bless"
Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ.
My brother was like this when he met his wife off a dating
Website...
except is was “love love love love love”
”ok love, thanks love, miss you love, hey love what do you think about this love?”
”ok love good night love i will message you tomorrow love for a catch up love”
it was sooooo friggin corny!!
when i met my husband, we knew we were serious and in love with one another etc and showed it through actions. My husband would be too weirded out just non stop saying it.
obviously now with covid, I haven’t seen hubby for over 6 months as my country has banned international travel and any foreign incoming travellers is impossible right now... so we do tell one another how much i misd you etc... but its not non stop 10 times a day. Its just once and thats it
Oh no, that must be so hard
Oh no, that must be so hard to be apart for so long!!