Ding..Ding...Ding...Ding....tale of snapchat, text messages and DH
Fall is in the air...the air is turning chilly in the evening...the breeze has the smell of fall...and school is starting. Hello..Pandemic 2020, school is virtural for the first semster at least for SD, age 14 and a newly minted freshman in high school.
SD has always had a terrible time getting up and staying awake. From what I hear, this is a chip right off the old Beaver block. Beaver also could not get up or stay up. Consequently, it is now a battle of wills to get SD up in the morning and ready for school, either in class or virtual. Difficult rating is about an 11 out of 10.
DH, does.not.handle.this.well. In fact it is a constant thorn in his side. Thanks to the Navy..(I really need to send them a thank you card)..DH gets up, gets ready and is dressed all well before he needs to be anywhere or do anything. He cannot understand why it takes 4 wake ups and then yelling for SD to get up. We have tried various clocks and other devices to wake her up...its awful. I bowed out on the wake up thing years ago.
To compound this problem..SD likes to be on snapchat, instagram, text message, facetime....and whatever else social media crap she has until hours of the night. Oh joy...that certainly will help you get up in the morning and stay up...NOT
Yesterday, it took SD almost 2 hours to get up and then around 11 a.m. I looked over and she was asleep on the couch. Huh..interesting. I look at her ipad...and she was messaging at 1:55 a.m. and on snapchat at 4:30 a.m. Found the problem..didn't need the mystery machine to find this problem.
I tell DH to look at SD's ipad, phone and laptop..and yep SD was up till around 5 a.m. when she had to get up at 7 a.m. SD has 0 self control or regulation. Subsequently, DH took all three from SD last night and put them in our room. Good luck getting that SD....both furry toddlers (2 dogs ages 1 year) sleep in our room. That door so much as looks like it moved...and they will be up and on alert and thereby waking DH and I up.
All night long, all night (sing it with me)..DING...DING....DING...DING......DING.....over 2000 messages from the various apps this morning...NO wonder the kid sleeps all freaking day...DH put her electronics on lockdown..SD can't use anything but text message to him and Beaver from the hours of 9 p.m. till 8 a.m. every day.
Whew....The only time I get that many messages is if my monitoring system at work has a freak out....and then I know I got bigger problems.
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You can see why kids don't
You can see why kids don't sleep all night, and why there is an increase in depression and anxiety. That's pretty powerful reinforcement for a 14 yo.
I know right
my question...where tf are the other parents. Do their kids not have issues in the morning, etc?
This is where I thank my lucky stars my two kids are introverts like their momma and would have a stroke at having to interact that much with other people..that and mine are both early birds like their momma. Much past 11 p.m. and both mine are searching for soft place to sleep.
But...holy moly..yep..I can see why kids never sleep, etc. 2000 messages....just wow
My SS, while totally
My SS, while totally unparented at BM's, used to stay up gaming all night (we could see his profile on Steam) and then go to school. Sometimes, anyway.
SD is completely on her own at Beaver's
except for not being able to cook anything (can't use the stove only the microwave) or being grounded for saying Jeazuss....smh...other than that..its all good.
That is why DH set controls on SD's electronics...all of which Beaver does not have the passwords to so she can't change the settings for SD.
Now we just have to contend with the whole...SD does no school work etc when at Beaver's..cause you know no one is home other than the GWR and well school isn't really important over there. College/school is a waste of time according to Beaver...
At least Beaver is honest
At least Beaver is honest about it. BM here let SS20 do whatever he wanted all the time, including no homework, lied about it, and still thought he'd somehow get into the college she works at (FREE tuition - and a good school). Of course, his grades were crap, and he couldn't get in, so she suggested he go to community college for a year to get his grades up (got the court to force DH to help pay, naturally). He spent a year there, then dropped out and has done nothing since then (May of 2019). But she always has excuses for him, and he always has excuses for himself.
Oh no..she lies about it all the time
and makes up excuses...
She is doing her beeeeesssstttttttttt and its so haaaaarrrrrrrdddddd being a single mother. She grounds SD allllll thhheee timmmmmmeee....SD is just a night owl...she takes away her electronics...uh huh right..
Well - I meant the part about
Well - I meant the part about thinking school is a waste of time - BM here wouldn't say that, and probably doesn't think that (seeing as she's a professor herself), she just acts as if school is unimportant by not pushing SS to do well.
yea Beaver is upfront about that
but I suspect it's because it took Beaver 10+years to get a BA in pyschology..only to find out that she could really practice and its wasn't a degree that would get her high dollars. So to her..college was a waste of time. She expected to make 80k+ once she got a degree. That did not happen...
Her one brother is high school drop out and the other barely finished high school..so school in her family is not valued at all.
Yeah, DH would never 'invade
Yeah, DH would never 'invade their privacy' (literal quote) by checking their phone/computer usage! The abomination! And taking a device away from them, ever? Even when it's appropriate to do so? And incur the wrath of the addicted kid? What? Are you crazy to make your child mad at you?
We're all insane it appears.
(The above applied to OSD. YSD however abhors electronics, to her detriment actually - it's impeding her in contacting and maintaining her friendships and makes it impossible to connect with her if we actually NEED to. She buries her phone in random boxes or bags on purpose so she cannot use/hear them.)
PRIVACY...hahahahaha..
we have made it very very very clear....as a minor you are entitled to NO PRIVACY in regards to your electronics, room, etc. We will respect your privacy when changing etc.
Beaver thinks is just HORRIBLE of use to check device usage. That we are stalking SD, etc. Too f'n bad...Beaver.
I'm lucky in the fact that DH could give two sh*ts less if SD gets mad at him. The more mad SD gets..the more obstinent DH gets....
BD14 started online virtually
BD14 started online virtually this week and I stayed home the first two days to ensure she was up and awake before I left the house. While I will say it takes her sometime to get up, it's nothing like your SD. Taking away their crack is pretty much the only thing you can do.
Bucket
Of ice water.
That is all.
I am not above this...
as my own BS found out once when he was about 12...he thought he could ignore me. WRONG....entire bucket of ice water got his @ss out of bed.
That and he decided to try me one time about getting dressed. He went to 7th grade in his jammies and slippers. Never again did ever give me a hard time about getting up and/or getting dressed.
This mamma doesn't play....but I bowed out of the SD wake routine a long time ago. I would have iced her @ss so fast she would have thought the next ice age had arrived.
I've also been known to shut off the hot water when some kid (SS) liked to take "hollywood" showers and leave me no hot water. He who pays the hot water bill..GETS THE HOT WATER.
I dont have a teen step yet
I dont have a teen step yet but my 8 yo SD is on TikTok and YouTube ALL night. She's stayed up till at least 1 on it. Then wants to sleep in super late. My SO won't take the iPad away at night or monitor the videos she makes even though I routinely stalk it and let him know the inappropriate songs she's listening and dancing too. It's so hard for me to just not care but I guess I need to quit and as long as she wakes at a decent time. Her parents are gems (my SO included).