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Bm F***ked us over big time!

ShadowAthena's picture
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So. Court is going ahead. Cafcass have said because both parties made allegations of abuse that this is best settled in court. I agree with that part. 

But because of BMs bullshit allegations against my husband, social services will be getting involved in my home and my childs life to see if my husband is a threat to either child. Which is bullshit. I get why they're doing this, but BM didn't have to go through this crap. 

I am proud to call this man my husband and the father if my children. He is their greatest protector, and he loves these little ones to bits. He doesn't even like telling our daughter off when she's been naughty. He's the best father these kids could ever dream of having. 

I plan on telling social services this as well. My husband has never laid a hand on me. Yes we argue, but we talk it out. I've got statements from people talking about what BM did to my husband when they were together, she's evil. And I hope the courts see that. 

Sorry. Needed a rant. At least I get to use all my evidence against BM and take her down a peg or two. 

tog redux's picture

Ugh, that's awful. But when it's proven untrue, it will make BM look bad for having made the allegations.

still learning's picture

If it's proven to be untrue they will send you a letter that says "Allegations of abuse UNFOUNDED."  This will end this one matter but not preempt future issues.  I've been on the receiving end of multiple allegations and suggest that you do everything you can to ward off these issues.  My lawyers advice: Keep an ongoing physical scrapbook of happy photos and memories that you can bring to court and show the judge.  Photos matter.  If you are comfortable with it, install an indoor camera in your living room or other common areas of the home to capture family interactions. If BM claims that skid was abused on 'insert date' then all you have to do is replay footage to prove otherwise.  

It's stressful and it sucks but you will have to be an open book to CPS and the courts.  DH should also take some parenting classes of his own valation, just to improve his skills. Family therapy is also good in the eyes of the court and a therapist can discern whether abuse has actually taken place. Be aware that therapy sessions can be brought before the court and used as evidence. 

Thumper's picture

I am sorry you and your family is going through this.  Its awful, very stressful but YET, very common.

Sounds like your dh's ex is very very high conflict.  Expect this until his child/ren are fully emancipated.

IF the current plot does not work, bm will find another way. Be careful---you could be the next target or your own bio kids.

It happened to us.

PROTECT YOURSELF ok?

It will not stop. It is a mental health problem of your bm's. Whether she is checked OR unchecked by professionals. Normal range people would not do this stuff.

$$$$$$$----it is also about $$$$$$$

 

 

 

 

shamds's picture

You need this now because the ex has shown she doesn’t give a shit about your little ones and would rather child services take them on false abuse charges she invented just to get back at her exhusband... 

thats how much of non nurturing non mothering behaviour she has. No real mother would want to make false abuse allegations...

Rags's picture

We went through much the same thing with my SS's Spermidiot.  Drug use, gun charges, witnesses to his giving my then toddler SS whiskey at parties to get him to stop crying, arrest records, serial statutory rape incidents, etc, etc, etc.....

The Judge ignored it all and even commented that any child would be blessed to have such a fine family love and care for them... in reference to the shallow and polluted end of my SS's gene pool.  Oddly after both sides had presented their case, the Judge spent a good 10mins chewing the Spermidiot's ass up one side and down the other for his gangbanger crap, dressing like an idiot in court, wearing goofy hair puffs all over his head, etc, etc, etc.....  I found it interesting that this was the same Judge that harped on how great a family the SpermClan was.

Good luck. But.... don't get over confident with  your evidence, witness statements, etc... we had more than a dozen witnesses actually testify in court about the Spermidiot's arrests, drug use, giving the baby booze, etc, etc, etc..... including a police officer.

After it was all over and just before the Judge gave his ruling he commented "I hope everyone feels better because now I am going to do what I always do......."  We left the courthouse and I immediately went to the news paper office and took out a full page add hammering the Judges ruling and advising his constituency not to re-elect him after he awarded visitation to a serial statutory rapist, drug addicted, gun crime, gangbanger wannabe.  He was about 100 days from election day.  His honor freaked out, called our attorney, read her the riot act, and demanded that I retract the add before it ran.  He had a relative who worked at the paper and who called him about my ad. 

I did pull the ad at our attorneys request though I really wanted to run it.   

We won convincingly each time we had to drag the SpermClan to court but not once have I ever left court without a skeevy feeling and the need to take a scalding hot shower to disinfect myself from the idiots who sit on the bench.  

With the exception of the Judge who sat for my divorce hearing from my XW every family court action I have  experienced was presided over by some bottom 10%er of the legal profession idiot who had no business with any authority what so ever.

Go prepared, be ready, but..... even if you win, and you very well might considering the POS that BM is, lower your expectations so you won't be disappointed.  And.. get your DH's head out of his ass and go for the hair test to nail BM for her drug use.

Good luck.

 

ShadowAthena's picture

She's now saying we can't have SD for the time we were meant to have her in August (3 weeks). She's not even letting us have her for a week. My husband is heartbroken. 

tog redux's picture

Why is that her choice? Withholding the child won't look good for her in court, either.

ShadowAthena's picture

Apparently according to cafcass 3 weeks is too long away from the primary caregiver. And BM told us cafcass said to stop contact until court. Which is bullshit. 

Dogmom1321's picture

Just FYI, even the slightest inkling to the child witnessing a "domestic dispute" is a no go in the eyes of DSS, verbal as well I'm sure you and your DH are responsible about settling disputes/arguments. I would just ensure that you stress it's always behind closed doors whenever SK is not around. Just to protect yourself...

ShadowAthena's picture

They're all done over messages. SD doesn't see any of it unless BM complains about it in front of her, which she always does.