I’m not a maid
So I love to keep a clean house and not have clutter but I'm so tired of feeling like a maid! SD11 has been with us this week and likes to leave her dirty dishes and things just laying around or in the sink when she KNOWS the dishwasher is dirty and she's supposed to put her dirty dishes in there. I've finally had it and decided to not pick up any of her dishes that she's just left around the house and in the sink. Finally after 3 days she decided to put them in the dishwasher and DH praised her for it! She laughingly responded with well they were mostly my dishes and have been there for days. 1) why does DH insist on praising her for something she should do 2) she knew exactly what was supposed to happen but just wasn't going to because she expects me to because she has no accountability for anything. It drives me crazy. Also she just came in the kitchen, didn't say a word to me, starts getting out a bowl for cereal and I inform her if she's getting cereal there's no milk. She proceeds to put her bowl back, get a drink, and stomp back to her room instead of getting something else out of the pantry for breakfast (because there are plenty of other things) all without saying a word to me. I swear. SMH
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Sounds like you have the same
Sounds like you have the same problem as me....A DH problem that thinks their spawn can do no wrong and doesn't want to teach with teaching them structure, what a boundary is and how to be respectful towards adults. My DH refuses to parent his kids and also refuses to accept what OSS is even though I think he knows deep down what he is. I am sorry you are going through this. Talk to you DH maybe you can get through to him. I couldn't get through to mine and neither could our marriage counselor.
Also... if you couldn't get
Also... if you couldn't get through to him, how are you managing?
Oh it is a DH problem which
Oh it is a DH problem which then turns in to a SD problem with the blatant lack of respect towards me. I don't understand how DH doesn't see it and thinks everything is just fine. I'm realizing I'm going to have to figure out how to talk to DH about these things but I know he'll get defensive if I act like SD is anything but the perfect princess he thinks she is. Sigh
Inappropriate praise - tell
Inappropriate praise - tell me about it! DH used to praise SD23 for eating her dinner when she was 14 aaaarrrrggghhh!
Oh same thing! SD will refuse
Oh same thing! SD will refuse to eat all her food saying "oh my stomach hurts" or "I'm so full" and DH will say "well just take 2 more bites please" (like she's a toddler) and she acts like it's the death of her. You better believe 5 minutes later though she wants dessert UGH
Good, keep leaving those
Good, keep leaving those dishes. I've been doing this since March when SD14 decided she's forgotten there's a dishwasher. I leave ALL of them. DH continues to do them for her. I've learned that it's up to him, I ignore it whatever the case. I do not let him get b*tchy with me if he's annoyed. Hey, my dishes are done!
Next steps for you are to let it go. Keep disengaged. And if dishes pile up too much for you to be able to cook, then you don't. I remember several times when all my pots had been used and left dirty during the day, no cooking for me!
The fact that instead of
The fact that instead of saying something to your SD that she needs to do her own dishes your DH just keeps doing them. Why is it so hard for them to hold their daughters accountable for anything?!
My SD11 is extremely lazy
She's a good kid but extremely lazy. She will leave her dirty clothes on the bathroom floor, leave her plate at the table, just generally does not pick up after herself. She got her period very young and left a dirty pad laying on her desk. It was disgusting. We both refuse to pick up after her. She got mad because the dog chewed up one of her stuffed animals. I'm like.....well? Duh......
Omg that is repulsive! I
Omg that is repulsive! I would've lost it!