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Adult step children

Yogi Karen's picture

My husband died two years ago and my oldest step daughter who is 45 and from the time my husband died, This step daughter wanted the expensive stuff that belonged to my husband.   I have another step daughter 42 years old and two adult children of our own. 19 and 24   I gave her my husbands Porsche and his golf clubs.  She wanted his tools three days after he died and I said no. I wasn't ready to give away his tools and besides I need his tools.  Plus I have more children.  Anyways this past Christmas I went with my so to visit my sister out of state.  She came in my house and took the large duffel bag of his tools. Approx value is $4k. Every power tool he had.  She had to search my house because I had it in the basement hidden.  Well I found out about this in March and requested her to give it back. The other step daughter came over Sunday and brought the tote bag with no tools in it.  Just a wrench and a staple gun.  
whst advice do you have for me?   I am really hurt snd angry and want to respond.  I don't even care about a relationship anymore.  I am good friends with their Mother and I don't want to say anything.  She is usually nice. It I have seen that dark side of her.  
I am so full of anger towards her for steeling from me. 
 

 

 

Kes's picture

It's a pity you didn't change the locks after your DH passed away, if you knew that your SD had a key, and might be liable to pull such a stunt.   Personally, if I were friends with their mother and wanted to preserve this relationship, I'd write the tools off, but get the locks changed straight away so that nothing like this happens again.  If you really want the tools back and it's a matter of principle, get a lawyer to send your SD a threatening letter. 

DHsfamilyfromhell's picture

I wonder if it’s possible the mother knows what they are doing (although admittedly parents of grown up kids don’t always know what they are up to).

I agree with Kes about getting a solicitor. 

I am surprised they had a key to get into your house. Change the locks like Kes suggested if you want to save yourself a whole lot of heartache. Oh, and surely that must be theft...

I am not sure why you feel the need to speak to them with the way they treat you. You don’t ‘have to’ if you don’t want to. 

tog redux's picture

Call the police. You were robbed. She had no right to take those tools from your home.

justmakingthebest's picture

I agree with the other who suggested you call the police. You were robbed. File a report.

MissTexas's picture

Do you have any correspondence saved between you two regarding the tools? Was there and inventory list?

I would say file a police report and take her to small claims court, but ONLY if you have supporting evidentiary proof. Attorneys, judges and police deal with the black and white facts .

How horrible. Best wishes.

Sorry for the loss of your DH. Did he have a will specifying who is to have what ?

DPW's picture

I'd call the police. She broke into your home, stole tools that she knew were not hers. This is a crime. 

TwoOfUs's picture

Agree with everyone else. That is truly shitty behavior. Skids tend to feel entitled to anything and everything "daddy" touched...completely disregarding next of kin laws, the fact that SM contributed to the bills and maintenance of the household for decades...

To them it's all "daddy's stuff" which means it's THEIR stuff and you're keeping it from them. 

Fortunately the law is not on their side. You were his life partner, and anything that wasn't left to them specifically is yours. End of story. You've already been more than generous giving her his Porsche and golf clubs...and this is how she repays you? 

Hell no. Take your power back. Document the correspondence...write your narrative...gather any information you may have (the other SD bringing back the duffel is also evidence...take pictures of what was brought back.) 

Then file a police report and take it to small claims. And yes...definitely change the locks and get more home security ASAP.