Wills when have child with learning disabilities
Forums:
I'm looking for some input regarding wills. I have 2 adult step children, 28 and 31. I have a 24 year old daughter and my eighteen year old daughter has severe learning disabilities. Has anyone dealt with division of assets in a will when there is a disparity between the long term needs of the children/adults?
Thank you.
We have a special needs child
We have a special needs child (My SS) in our home. The way we have it is that SS would stay with me as long as he wanted to if my husband was to pass away. We are going through the process of adult guardianship right now naming DH and I- so he would legally be under my care.
If DH and I were to both pass away we have it set up so that my life insurance goes to my kids and DH's go to only SS20 in a trust currently to be run by MIL. SS20 would go to live with my SIL and BIL. We are not leaving anything to SS15 (this is a whole other long and complicated story). DH and I are heavily insured and if my husband was to pass away there would be close to a million going to SS20. That will disability he should be taken care of as long as my in-laws can. Then it would come down to a facility.
Insurance
That's wonderful you have everything set up for your SS. I have some life insurance but will be looking into another policy for the benefit of my daughter.
Side thought
Your disabled daughter should continue to recieve child support. Have you looked into that? IF she is unable to support herself.
**As in life long cs**
Child support
I was told that previously by an attorney. I take it thats a separate court order I need to do?
Ugh, don't do that. Your ex
Ugh, don't do that. Your ex should have a choice whether or not he supports her for life. She can get disability and other supports will be available to her.
I understand
I understand where you're coming from. This wouldn't be a decision I would make lightly and I haven't decided either way at this point.
That's good to hear. In
That's good to hear. In general, parents aren't forced to support disabled kids for their entire life, and that shouldn't be different just because a divorced parent can get a court order making the other parent help.
Tog, I do not agree with life
Tog, I do not agree with life long cs either. BUT, it is a requirement. Even the SCOTUS agrees. Parents are obligated morally and legally, to support their disabled adult kids.
Yes.
Yes.
Justmakingthebest...Doesnt
Justmakingthebest...Doesnt your Dh's 20son receive Tri-Care, still? It's until age 21. Gosh I hope so.
Can he take some classes at a tech school? That would extend Tricare a little.
Anyway where the heck is ss20's mom on all this, she should be helping out. Wait, is this Kansas BM? That BM?
Try hard to get ahold of DEERS and get the ball rolling for TriCare beyond age 21 because of his Autism. Everyone is teleworking as you may know. Ask them to mail you the packet.
He is good on tri-care until
He is good on tri-care until 21, but we have 10 months to get him on SS. We are getting in gear now but the process is so long. Is is taking classes for welding but he isn't full time so tri-care will boot him if we can't get everything through and get him on Tri-care for life. We are trying currently.
SS20's mom is the one who had 7 other kids after him and custody of none. In and out of jail and total druggie. I actually talked to her SM the other day. She currently has custody of the youngest 4 of her kids.
Holy Moly Justmakingthebest,
Holy Moly Justmakingthebest,
Well you know what they say, once an addict always an addict. YIKES I am surprised she doesn't want SS20 back for the $$. Thats what they do. They are like Turkey Buzzards circling their prey.
Anyway, your dh's son "MAY" qualify for the Young Adult Program with tricare. Maybe with a waiver because of his disability BUT he is attending classes with special circumstances. It might work. Hey, you don't know until you try.
**SORRY OP. please forgive me**
If it were my kid, I would
If it were my kid, I would provide what I could for the disabled child first to provide them with what they need and ensure I had enough to be independent should my husband die before me. If there are any resources left, then my other children could get the remainder split between them. I would probably have separate finances from my husband as we would have different prioities and responsibilities and he could leave what he wanted to his kids.
Sometimes what's fair isn't treating everyone equally. By providing for the disabled child and my own old age as best I could I would be relieving that burden from my other children. I would hope to have raised them to be able to care for themselves and set themselves up to be successful in life on thier own.
My cousin has a daughter who is dead
it took her till maybe age 12 before she could pronounce more clearer. Her grades at school are still bad because she is so far behind developmentally because of her speech and language delay from not speaking the first few yrs of life. I think she was 6 or 7 before she could babble etc.
her dad is military and his pension is 100% willed to that daughter. He figured since his other 4 kids are all without disabilities then they have every opportunity to be more successful in life so he needs to ensure that daughter is financially taken care of for life so this daughter will get a special pension payment monthly till she dies.
The disabled child, in my
The disabled child, in my opinion, should be considered first when writing a will. The disabled child cannot work / can only work limited and therefore is unable to fend for themselves, in most cases. Like others have said, I would set up a trust for the disabled child and start from there. A separate insurance policy should be able to cover that.
I have a very good friend and
I have a very good friend and colleague who has 3 adult children. Two daughters and a special needs son. He and his wife will care for their son for their entire lives and are leaving their entire estate in trust for the care of their son.
They have provided their daughters with the opportunity to have a college education in order to prepare them and for them to prepare themselves to provide for themselves and their own families. Both daughters have been named legal guardians of their brother upon the demise of my friend and his wife. They as a family are all highly involved in the life of the son/brother and in his care and future.
I concur with the advice that the special needs child is the priority as far as support and life long resources are concerned. There are other ways parents can provide for the able siblings of a disabled child that support the able kids in preparing to be responsible for themselves.
Just my thoughts and opinion of course.