Sneaky step brat..I need help on beating the little shit at his own game
SS13 AKA “Step demon”has ALWAYS been a Thorn in my side to say the least. Rude, Bratty, Immature, Disrespectful, LOUD, helpless, mouthy, STEALS think you get the point.
Well since I can’t stand the little bastard I’ve Chose to “disengage” whenever he’s over which in 50/50. Well not sure if this made things worse or SS13 is just getting worse.
Since it’s Impossible to Disappear completely when SS is over there are times I need to have contact with him as little as it is.
If I am forced to ask SS something he will “pretend” he did not hear me and Quickly run in his room or outside. If I standing right in front of him he will turn away from me and Ignore me. SS DOES NOT do this with anyone else. I’m NOT asking him to do anything but asking if he’s seen the dog or something like that.
Worse is if SS decides to interact with me as SS has to Challenge everything I do/say. Here are some examples. If I mention it’s a warm day out SS will rudely say hmm NO it’s not it’s windy. If I playfully say to the dog do you want to go for a walk later...SS will rudely say that’s Teasing the dog stop it. If I’m on the phone and SS “thinks” I’m taking to loud he will rudely tell me to shut up. Now SS never talks to DH this way and he never does this in front of DH. The little bastard will even look around sometimes before saying something to me to make sure DH is not around to hear. Now these comments alone are not bad BUT SS does this to EVERYTHING I say or do. Yes I’ve mentioned this to DH BUT he’s never witnessed this so it’s hard for him to say anything.
Also A few things of mine have Mysteriously disappeared and I’m highly Suspicious SS stole them. But again can’t prove it.
HELP! This evil brat is driving me crazy! I can’t stay locked up in the bedroom the whole time he’s over. How can I beat this little monster at his Malicious game??? Any Suggestions for DH also
Take up the whole house with
Take up the whole house with your stuff and don't let him think he owns the house. Don't make small talk with him. Ignore him completely.
Good point!
DH and I plan on moving down south when Step brat turns 18. I’m only doing it to get away from SS. DH is thinking SS will come with us which I know he won’t leave mommy dearest. I know it bothers SS to hear us talk about it as he will miss daddy dearest so when the little shit is mouthing off to me I start talking to DH about how In less than 5 years we will be moving and play it up. Since DH is standing right there SS won’t say anything mouthy to me so I’m Secretly thinking take that you little asshole.
We're also planning to move
We're also planning to move away once SSs turn 18. I have one SS who is not as bad as your stepbrat, but close. Of course, he's also rude to DH, so I think he's just a general jerk.
We have not breathed a word of our plans to move to SS or anyone in DH's family, because we don't want to deal with BM's drama. Instead, we will announce our plans shortly before we plan to go. DH has also planted the seed with both SSs, that perhaps the military is a good possible career option. BM's BIL is a career military man and one SS is always bragging about how wonderful he is, so his comment actually sparked this SS's interest. If they both move away when they turn 18, that would be a huge help to us, because then BM and MIL couldn't cry about how DH would be "abandoning" his children.
Web cams with audio record
Web cams with audio record function. Then.... bare the little bastard's ass with daddy. Video and audio recordings don't lie.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
He will either learn or he will leave.
Either way... you win.
Camera
DH bought me a trail camera for filming wildlife. It has proved invaluable as a camera trap for catching SS20 and keeping him out of our normally locked up bedroom.
We have adopted a very frightened rescue cat. She only feels safe in our bedroom and the hallway so we cannot lock up the door. I don't always have it running but it looks as if it is and he doesn't know if it's recording or not.
I record for a short time each day though and did catch him lingering in our bedroom doorway, leaning in etc but looked at the camera and went away. Told him I'd seen him and described his actions. His face was a picture.
I stay because other than Demon Turd
DH is perfect. No Meddling in-laws. DH is Financially responsible and hard working and treats me wonderful except for the Evil SS crap. Then add the little bastard is 13 so hopefully he will either take a liking to girls, boys wherever or end up in jail and out of my hair soon. Yes I hear how Good for nothing step kids don’t launch when they are Supposed to and that’s where moving out of state comes into play. Step brat will never leave mommy so I just have to bear it 5 more years and I’m out
If my DH thought I was lying
If my DH thought I was lying about how SS treated me, and let him behave the way yours does because "he didn't see it", I'd be moving down South by myself.
Your DH is far from perfect. This refusal to parent his son would put him in the throw back category.
If your SO believes his kids,
If your SO believes his kids, friends, family over you then your relationship is done. I was in a similar situation. My ex would side with his kids over me when they were behaving poorly and called out. They would lie lie lie and be total brats. His family would also create issues by planting seeds by saying negative things about me when I was not around. Any man who sides with his family, kids, etc. over his wife is not a man worth having around at all. You can do so much better.
Yep. Anytime a man sides with
Yep. Anytime a man sides with his spoiled, rude, ill behaved kids, and over bearing mother, over you the relationship is doomed! Find a real man, not a manchild who can't parent his kids.
I don’t think DH thinks I’m lying BUT
Since he did not “see it” and KNOWS SS KNOWS DH did not see it does not know how to bring it up to SS. DH is like a lot of divorced dads that he’s afraid to Discipline step brat in fear Step brat will stop coming over. Step brat is a VERY good Manipular and poor on the Crocodile tears when needed.
"SS, your SM said you did
"SS, your SM said you did (fill in the blank). That is unacceptable to me. If you do it again (fill in the blank consequence) will happen."
Does he need to see bad school behavior to believe it to? Or is just you he doesn't trust?
That’s a Great Comparison
Yes guess I’m the one with blinders on. Again I don’t think DH does not believe me...maybe... but more the thought he does not want to piss off SS. The few times DH sided with Me it did not go well. Screaming, swearing, HITTING total Crying temper tantrum which shut DH right down. Me on the other hand wanted to plant my foot up Over exaggerating temper throwing step brat. Of course I did not as BM would LOVE to have my ass hauled off to jail for child abuse
So he'd rather the kid
So he'd rather the kid mistreat you than set limits on him? He's creating a monster, here.
Tough love
SO - its not that DH doesnt believe you, he cannot produce evidence to SS. Its your "word" against SS, and DH is scared of the consequences of ss not "wanting" to visit, and also kid throws violent temper tantrums.
1. Nanny cams. More for SS to be showed you wont be take in by the lies and this will push the envelope for DH to take a stand and actually parent. Also for stealing. I would go through SS room and whole house. Then document what goes missing and have a talk about "stealing being against the law and how do you feel about going to jail?" SDnow21, she is the femail verson of your SS. Rude, feral, violent outbursts when parents try to parent. Stealing. She lives with the BM, toxic Troll and has stolen from her, and violent outbursts to the extent that the Troll baker-acted her for a few days. So, this behavior, unchecked will get worse.
Is there a custody order? If so, child doesnt get the power to choose.
2. Call the cops if you have any violence directed at you.
Then prepare to be the evil step. I disengaged. Hello, goodbye, good morning, good night. Did not cook or clean. Did not speak without DH present. Accusations abounded, and still do, but not at me! So - again nanny cams because look out, accusations of abuse will start happening..
Luckily at 21, SD is an adult and we own the house jointly, so there is no question where my place is...
^^all of this plus: call the
^^all of this plus: call the cops if there is any violence in your home or you witness any violence anywhere for that matter. Calling the cops does not mean charges have to be pressed but it does start a formal record of the incident and it does show ss that you will not take that shit around you or in your house.
Protect yourself and leave
Protect yourself and leave this relationship please. A relationship where your SO chooses to believe his kids lies and dramas over you is not a safe nor healthy situation for you.
I worry about the day that
I worry about the day that the ss hits you op and your husband doesn't want to call the cops because he is too scared he won't see his violent child again.