My husband and I have been married for a little over a year. He has 5 kids from a previous marriage and I have 1 daughter (11). Prior to marriage, we dated for about 6 years. I was hesitant of initially dating him because at the time I was in my mid 20's and he had kids that ranged from 4-12. It has been many battles throughout the years with his ex and her drama. It has been periods where his ex has dropped off the kids for a visit and didn't come back for over a month.  In the beginning I tried to have a relationship with them. It is several factors that I believe causes me to not want to be around my step-children. The mother is very poor and receives assistance from the government. They live-in low-income housing. His ex-wife never worked when they were married and never learned any skills that would help her support her kids. My husband makes ok money, but I make a significant amount more than him. I was honest prior to the marriage and told him that I will not financially support his kids. The reason being was because I fully financially support my child without any assistance. My daughter’s dad does not contribute financially, and I would have never decided to have 5 kids because I know how expensive kids are. He expressed understanding but he continues to attempt to compare situations and wants everything to be equal. Am I crazy for thinking that he should financially support his kids and I will support my daughter? My daughter attends private school and is in dance. I would never expect him to contribute to that. I tried to explain to him, that if I help him support his kids financially that I would be taking away from my daughter who depends on me solely for financial support. I think I transfer some of my negative feelings about finances over to the kids. Also, the kids are not well mannered and seem to not know basic etiquette. My husband and I just purchased a home together. Prior to this purchase, we had two separate homes. He only kept his home for weekends he got his kids. Neither one of our homes were big enough for everyone. When his kids were with him. They were absolutely filthy. The boys are the youngest 3 and are the one who will regular visit. The girls come periodically. His kids really just did whatever they wanted. They would eat on the floor, leave plates any and everywhere. They would throw balls in the house. I would walk in the house and the smell would be horrible because of course boys don’t like to shower. We would occasionally all eat together and they would fart during diner. Half the time they don't speak when I talk to them (this has improved slightly). I confronted my husband and asked him why rules or structure wasn't in place. He gets very defensive. I believe he has guilty father syndrome and lets his kids get away with murder. I hate seeing this behavior, which I believe is another reason I have found it hard to connect. We are in the process of moving in our new home and I am scared that my husband will try to get his kids more. Right now, the schedule is every other weekend and longer during breaks from school. Covid has made the schedule all over the place. I work from home and will be attending online school in a month. My job requires a lot of mental power. I feel very anxious with the thought of seeing them more then what I have too. I do feel bad about that. But I know they have behaviors that will probably not change. His youngest is 10 and oldest is 17. My husband has always treated my daughter well, but he doesn’t let her get away with nearly as much as his own kids. I mentally have to prepare for when he gets them. I refuse to be a grown adult in a home that is ran by kids. I work too hard to let that happen. Am I being fair? Any advice would be appreciated.