My biggest pet peeves are SO focusing on DS and my neice who I raised. I do not mind DS being redirected by SO because he is only trying to teach him to do things correctly.  I do get annoyed with him nit picking at my neice who is 19. Yes she lacks in some life skills, but she also suffers from depression and anxiety from the abuse she suffered before I got custody.  That being said she works, goes to college full time, has good grades, is polite and basically supports herself.  She always tells me where she is going and when she will be home and always asks permission before borrowing something or having someone over. I provide the roof over her head. She gives me money each month for her car insurance and groceries. The issues with my neice are very minor in that sometimes she has to be asked to do something and doesn't take the initiative on her own. An example she will walk past the garbage cans and not walk them back to the house unless you ask. Not a big deal as far as I am concerned.  

Let's take SKs 13 and 12. They will not follow rules, talk back when redirected. They do not take care of thier belongings let alone anyone else's. They will not pick up after themselves, keep thier rooms clean. They never ask permission and if told no, because they were caught doing something they weren't supposed to a lovely teenage tantrum outburst will follow. If you dont lock up your personal belongings they will help themselves to it without asking. They have never done a chore, shoveled, helped with yard work, garbage or taking care of the pets. The older one 13 is not appreciative of anything she is given, when she leaves her belongings somewhere or loses them she wants them replaced immediately.  She accepts no responsibility for anything ever.

SO wants to focus on the " easy kids" DS and neice and ignore the behavior of his kids because it's easier. Unfortunately for him that isnt going to be an option anymore. As I have separated everything in the house. Neice now keeps all her stuff in her room, hygiene and shower products, laundry soap and so on, just as I have been doing.  Now I only purchase neccessary food that has to be prepared no snacks or junk food.  Sks do not like real food so they wont eat it. They want hot pockets, tv dinners, chips and ice cream. Neice and DS are happy to eat left overs.

SO has been able to minimize the impact SKs make by not having to deal with the day to day nonsense.  Before me his mother basically dealt with SKs and thier needs, that is why she has always been my biggest supporter as she has dealt with thier behavior for years. 

SO has already been more stressed since I have refused to parent SKs anymore. If they start fighting, I leave. They leave a mess I send him a picture of it and tell him he can ask them to take care of it or do it himself. I get emails from thier teachers I send them right to him.  I cant wait until he is back to work and comes home sore and tired to the mess they have accumulated during the day

He has already been complaining about the money he has spending on groceries. Which has suddenly made him care about them wasting food.  Let's add in the stress he is going to experience buying shampoo, razors, lotions, soap, face wash, sanitary napkins, the brushes they lose every week, and hair ties. Then he still has to buy clothes, bras, underwear,  socks, bathing suits, shoes,  hats gloves. Which they also lose magically shortly after they have been bought.

On a good note with all the money I have been saving,  once the world opens back up I plan on taking DS and Neice on some trips.