Get used to it. I wouldn't wish step life on anyone. It's like being in a home 24/7, working for free to the point of exhaustion all the while being ignored and begging for crumbs of affection and attention from your SO. It's not a happy life for anyone.

I'm sorry OP, but I think you should start planning on being a single mom. 

Do you have a career? Can you support yourself and your baby? If not, start making plans to better your career options. 

You got this.

Leave. It won't get better. Trust, me. I was in your shoes but I stayed because I thought it would get better. I am now stuck with a 6 month old baby. I didn't leave while I could have.

It sounds like it's normal for that jerk. Idk how long he has been divorced, or how often he sees them, but it's normal to miss them. But the nonstop cuddling to the point of doing nothing else is weird. It sounds like some kind of obsessive compulsive behavior. The part where he ignores you and says if  you don't like it then leave is what makes him a jerk and probably explains why he became a single dad in the first place. 

It's not normal and It's not going to get better. It may be time to leave. This sounds similar to the situation I was in. My heart goes out to you as I know the feeling of being neglected by a partner while pregnant.  

It's not something that should be acceptable, but sadly, it does seem normal for many divorced dads.

I think a lot of EOWE dads don't do the emotional work necessary to move out of guilty, sad, Disney dad space into the space where they accept their situation and realize they still need to be a parent to their children and not a friend, companion, or confidant. 

I also don't think many of them contemplate how they will actually give a new relationship what it needs to grow. My view is that if you ignore your SO when your kids are around, you aren't yet ready for a relationship. If you want your kids to be your companions when they are with you and want your SO to step aside entirely, then you don't really have space in your life for an adult relationship. 

I know that EOWE parents want to maximize their time with their kids when they are around, but they also need to acknowledge the other parts of their life when their kids are around and manage their responsibilities.

If you are cooking, etc. for them, I suggest you stop immediately. If you are not even acknowledged, why should you do anything for them?

A couple of random thoughts:

• Have you pointed out to your DuH that his behaviour is stopping you from having any kind of relationship with his kids? Do they ever go for walks or do they stay in the house all weekend? 
   
• Have you discussed what will happen when the baby is born? I ask, because I'm bettting he'll have them over so they can "bond with their new brother/sister". And I'm also betting that he'll have it all worked out with bm so he can have them for 3 weeks straight. You have a month left to state your case that you will need time alone with baby and husband...

Your description to me sounds like a junior high kid deliberately excluding someone. The idea that a "man" would do this to his own wife, let alone when she is pregnant with his child, is really disturbing. Laying on a couch cuddling for hours is creepy. I could understand if it was for an hour in front of the TV before bedtime, but as an activity in itself, a Dad and his 2 kids over a year old? Yikes. I'm curious if he's a dismissive asshole when his brats are not there too?

I do not think this is a salvagable relationship. Please make plans to work on you, your career and being a single mom. There is nothing whatsoever with that scenario. F him. You got this!

No, it's not normal and it's not something you should tolerate. My DH didn't cuddle with SS ever, much less all day long, and he didn't treat me any differently. SS had rules and structure and wasn't the center of attention the entire time he was here.

It doesn't sound like you've really sat down and had a heart-to-heart talk with him, have you? You describe making comments here and there, but have you discussed it? He's doing what he did when he was single and he's not single anymore - so changes must be made.

Plus, it's no good for his kids to not have a real father in their lives.

At 5 and 7 they don't need to be cuddled all day. Sure watching a movie together.... that kind of thing, but all day? Eh no. I wouldn't want to cuddle my own kids for that long of period! Seeing as he's overly affectionate with his kids and not with you would raise an alarm for me. Maybe he has guilt but then he should seek counseling. It's not your fault, your child's fault, our his children's fault. 

2 young kids and i relented and went only ti constantly regret it and after the 3rd time i had enough.

i told hubby i felt like the 3rd wheel. I know hubby wanted me there but every meet up was pretend I didn’t exist and try shunning me or take digs at me and show bio mums superiority and hubby did nothing!! So-called to avoid drama. Hubby said he always wanted me there because i made these horrible meet ups with his kids and how they behaved badly and self centredly more pleasant yet not having my back means you treat me like crap

I come out on the other side of this than most here.  I think that most parents will (and should) spend most of the LIMITED time with thier kids when they have them on the weekends.  If you see your DH all week...is it really that important for you to have that 30 minutes during the weekends that his kids are there.  

However...the fact that you are pregnant with his child does make it different.  And also that he lets them in bed with you.  YUK.  

I am sorry...no advice just sympathies because it will probably not change once your child is born.  

Make a plan, gather resources and put the whole situation in the rearview.  Not sure where you are located, but there is plenty of help out there for you and you should take advantage of it.  From what you are saying, he doesn't appear to give a crap about you or your child.  Any man that says "I'll buy you a TV so you can stay in here",  or my favorite pet peeve, "if you don't like it, leave", is not worth it and not going to change.  That second one is a control statement.  He thinks that he has you, and you should prove that he doesn't.  Eighteen years of child support should do the trick.

I stumbled upon this post and used to relate so much to what you originally said. Has it changed now that you've had your baby?

At the beginning, I often felt ignored when SD was around. I felt like my bf went to being my roommate for the weekend then he would try to switch back to bf mode once she left. I never expected to be mushy gushy around her but treat me like I'm your gf. SD and him would hog the whole couch so I would just go to our bedroom. SD tried to sleep in our bed a few times, in the middle, until I put my foot down. Then, when she couldn't sleep with us, bf would sleep on air mattress next to her. This even happened after I had the baby, for months. It wasn't until our baby was 4 mo that I said no, you are sleeping in our bedroom with me and our baby. Things have gotten a lot better and now he treats me like a gf in front of SD. 

My husband is a "traditional" father, which means he couldn't give a single care about a baby, but from watching him with SD, he is probably just a terrible father regardless of the kid's age. I'm going to have two kids with him and am basically planning to get this second one born and weaned and then evaluate from there once I can work again. 

He does show me attention during pregnancy though, and doesn't cuddle with SD because he feels weird about it.

I would not tolerate this at all.  You might try initiating intimacy when he has his kids in your relationship bed and when he freaks tell him that it is YOUR relationship bed and you will do what you wish in in it whenever you wish so he can either take his kids and leave or put his kids out and keep them out of your relationship bedroom. Do not tolerate him or them alienating you.

Lather, rinse, repeat. 

When the kids come in immediately inform your SO that you are in the mood and the failed family breeding experiments need to leave  your room immediately. 

See how he feels about that.

Have fun rubbing his nose in his incestuous crap with his children.

In fact, F-em all. Figuratively of course. 

You pack and leave and get on with your life leaving this shallow and polluted incestuous gene pool far behind.

Take care of you.

My husband has never been like that, SD was 5 when we got together. I don't think that it's normal.

Sounds like your partner should not be in a relationship, as he is not really available.