Living together and access
Forums:
Hello all
I have an issue.
my partner and I moved in together about a year ago and are soon to become engaged.
His access to his kids is court ordered EOW which took place up to a few months ago at his own house.
Due to financial constraints he has had to give up renting this house as we cannot afford to keep two homes going.
The ex has now blocked access under the guise of Coronavirus and because she doesn’t know who lives at the house we live in together is refusing access. She is also suggesting the children don’t want to live with me there during access.
Advice olease?!
Corona virus has been widely
Corona virus has been widely stated as NOT being a cause to withhold visitation. I actually contacted my SS's states governor's office to see if they had anything officially written up and received a response right away. We forwarded it to BM to stop her nonsense.
As for her not knowing who lives in the house- unless a CO says differently, she has no right to use that a a reason either. I would let her know who is living in the house though out of general courtesy. Also, unless the CO says that you aren't allowed to cohabitate, neither she or the kids (that she is obviously alienating) have a say in coming over because you live there.
Your SO needs to put his foot down now, threaten to take her for contempt if she refuses visitation and actually follow up on it. Courts here are seeing these cases as emergent and holding the hearings via ZOOM and changing custody over it.
She does know exactly who
She does know exactly who lives at the house as this is a)obvious and b) already explained to her
nothing in the CO about him cohabiting in any case.
Funnily her BS excuse about coronavirus, she is more than happy for him to visit the kids at her home every day if he likes!!! She’s a spiteful nasty piece of S”””
he went to her house to visit on his last access day after she refused to allow access to go ahead bas d again on Coronavirus and she seems to think this is how it should now operate.
Seems to me she thinks they are in a relationship of sorts.
She thinks that SHE is the
She thinks that SHE is the parent and the kids see him at her discretion. This type of mother doesn't see the father as an equal parent. As justmakingthebest says, she is violating the CO. If your SO has an attorney, he should reach out to him/her for help
And this type of ex always gets upset when their former spouse has a new serious relationship. That's what this is about - it threatens her control over him.
She completely believes the
She completely believes the kids have one parent and categorically refuses to allow him to parent the children as he sees fit during his access. She demands that he stick to her schedule of events for the kids during his access which he mainly ignores. When she isn’t getting his attention one of the kids will always end up in and ED room with no specific cause. She genuinely does not see value in the children having a relationship with their father.
it seems odd at best to me that she wants him to visit the children at her home and not ours because they are at such high risk of contracting Coronavirus. It’s bonkers - it makes no difference if she is allowing him to visit or they visit us - the risk is the same. She’s intent on controlling him through the kids. She told him she was in a committed long term relationship and introduced the kids - she had been dating this guy for two weeks. She blocked his access after I met the kids after we had dated for a year. Her serious committed relationship has now ended. I can’t keep up!! It seems to me she wants him back, she texts him more than I do! He doesn’t respond unless it’s urgently relating to the kids. Otherwise he ignores.
i feel sad for the children they don’t want to have their acces with their father because I live with him. I’m at a loss as to what to do, short of moving out of my home when they come or else him not seeing his kids for overnight access.
Does this ever get better! Why is she so bitter he is in a new relationship? We are planning on having a child ourselves and I can’t see how we can do that with the current mess
In my personal experience, no
In my personal experience, no - it doesn't get better. My SS was alienated from us for over 3 years, and though he's back now, BM has ruined him. He's 20, so there is no more dealing with BM, but the damage is done.
Can you go to court?
He had instructed lawyer
He had instructed lawyer again for breach of access.... she believes she’s being reasonable offering access at her home!!! Because of her fears of contracting Coronavirus!!! It’s absurd.
The lawyer thinks she's being
The lawyer thinks she's being reasonable? Find a new one.
Apologies the mother thinks
Apologies the mother thinks she’s being reasonable. The lawyer is not hopeful of a resolution until the pandemic passes. It’s outrageous
It isn't going to pass for 18
It isn't going to pass for 18 months or more, not really! I'd consult another attorney. She's violating the CO.
Yes, like Tog said, if the
Yes, like Tog said, if the lawyer won't file for an emergency hearing, find one who will. You don't have to keep an attorney that isn't serving you. Remember- they are service providers.
Access at her home is an attempt to control and does nothing to stop the spread of the virus. Unless she plans on having your SO strip at her front door, shower there and wear a mask the whole time, it is the same as if the kids were at your house. Although...maybe she does want him to strip and shower there.... LOL
If she refuses to cooperate,
If she refuses to cooperate, go to the house with a police escort to pick up the kids on his weekend. She doesn't have the right to block access to the kids on his weekends, court ordered weekends.
"She is also suggesting the
"She is also suggesting the children don’t want to live with me there during access. "
They don't get to decide - do they?
Would a court not take o to
Would a court not take o to account their wishes not to stay over if I am in the house? I’m not sure how this works and it’s conerning it seems off to me a court would not allow a person to move on with a committed relationship where there is zero evidence of the children coming to any harm by the mere presence of their new partner in their lives.
Please make sure you get all
Please make sure you get all communications from BM in writing, by email or text. No phone calls.
Two separate issues.... No,
Two separate issues.... No, she cannot withhold visitation without consequence unless your SO refuses to apply consequences. He needs to nail her ass in court. Where daddy lives has zero for shit to do with BM actively violating his visitation with his kids. He needs to apply pain and do it now to get BM under control.
The second issue is Corona virus. And that is still DH's call to make and not BMs. BM should not be tolerated to interfere in your SO's time with his kids no matter what. Personally, I would not expose either a kid or myself to the risk of Corona exposure. But that may just be me.