It's really grinding my gears
Forums:
It's really starting to weigh in me..
Me and my husband have a 3 bedroom house. We have a daughter together and he has a daughter from a previous relationship, she's 4. Also my mother lives with us.
Sd4 comes over every other weekend and has her own room here. Which wasn't an issue before, but now that Bd is getting to the point she can sleep on her own, she needs her own room.
Bd1 lives in this house full time. Shes here every single day and apparently doesn't deserve to have her own room. Sd4 is here 4 days a month and gets a whole room? I honestly do not think that is fair at all.
The 2 children will have to
The 2 children will have to share a room, at this time, there is no other option.
Why is your mother living with you? Is that a permanent thing?
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The room isn't big enough for 2 beds with the way it is layed out.
Also, yes, my mother living with us is a permanent thing. Personal family related reasons.
Is your mom's room bigger?
Is your mom's room bigger? Perhaps she could switch to allow for the girls to share easier?
Another thing.
BD1, when she is old enough to know what she likes and what she wants will never get to decorate how she wants. SD4 is daddy's little princess that gets anything and everything she wants. He never says no to her. So if she so much as pouts about having to share a room it won't happen.
Start setting money aside for
Start setting money aside for an addition in 3-5 years?
Both you and your husband are going to have to compromise.
Curious? How did your husband get out of "being dad" of the other child? Typically once someone is pn the birth certificate and a certain amount of time passes (not much) it can't be changed.
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From what I know him and BM came to an agreement after some time because it was best for SS. So I guess since they both agreed and she knew who the biodad was they let it happen? I try to stay as far away from her as possible so I don't know the details.
Usually "real" bio-dad has to
Usually "real" bio-dad has to also agree (and be tested). Not an easy or fast process... glad it worked for y'all.
The kids can share
The kids can share a room. My mom grew up sharing a small room with her two sisters. There were two beds and a trundle, they did that for years. Before that, my youngest aunt shared a very narrow room that was meant to be a pantry with my uncle. He lived in that tiny pantry until he moved out in his 20s. Kids are adaptable. You'll figure out the decorating and you can also figure out how to get two beds in there.
All around a bunch of hogwash
All around a bunch of hogwash story.
I agree that the kids should
I agree that the kids should be able to share a room. They're still quite small and BD will have the room all to herself most of the time.
I think OP's main issue is not really about the room situation itself; I think it's more that SD has more than BD (in that she has all that space to herself when she's not living there as often). Just a thought.
Hope it all works out for everyone.
FT residents get bedroom
FT residents get bedroom priority. Put the Skid on an Aerobed during visitation and format the house for what works best for those who live there full time. Put a trundle/day bed somewhere and that can be the Skid's sleeping area when she is present. Put a Murphy bed somewhere it can be used as a display place for knickknacks when SD is away. Figure out something that works but does not impose on the those who actually live there.
Four days a month does not warrant a whole lot of consideration other than a decent bed to sleep on. An Aerobed qualifies.
I agree.
I agree.
Case closed.
(LOVE your responses by the way!)