Wash your hands
I would think SD17 is old enough to know to wash her hands after using the bathroom. I hear a flush from down the hall, then the door opens, no faucet running. I can't say anything without starting a war, making me the bad guy...I diiiiid wash my hands or I didn't do anything wrong(that's her mantra). I wonder if she washes at her restaurant job. She doesn't wash when she enters the house after work. She goes in the kitchen and opens the fridge to either put her food in there or take something out, then she heads upstairs, still hasn't washed, she goes in her room and sometimes comes out to do laundry, still hasn't washed, back in her room, you guessed it, still hasn't washed. The couple times DH has asked her to wash her hands, I hear, I diiiiiid daaaaad Im not stuuuupid. 17 going on 9. I can't decide which skid I hate the most. They're all so bad but the middle 2 (SD17 and SS13) are worse than OSD21 and YSS11. If I could make one disappear it would be SS13. SD keeps to herself before the quaranitne was barely around. SS13 will be a thorn in my side for many years to come. And I don't mean that I would ever do something to make a child disappear, I'm not crazy. I just mean make one have never existed.
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Time for video proof
When she goes in until she comes out, just the door with the sounds so it can be heard that she didn't wash. Or, pull your DH in for an inspection of the sink and hand towel.
Now, I did that and DH still defended and excused. But, perhaps you can point out to your DH that after all those years of not keeping on his children and telling me I'm wrong---my DH won't let his own kids come to our house because they are not clean enough to prevent spread of this virus.
I'm at the point with washing my hands that I go into the bathroom and come back out having washed my hands but forgotten to do the thing I went in there for (like brush my teeth).
And the real parent answer to "I'm not stupid" is "You aren't stupid, you are smart enough to know to wash your hands. What you are is lazy. Go wash your hands."
He would say she used a wipe
He would say she used a wipe or sanitizer. That is her excuse when he confronts her but even if she is telling the truth...cmon soap and water is best.
And in all fairness, she is stupid.
Remove the wipes and sanitizer?
Just leave soap and towels. There's really no reason someone would need wipes or hand sanitizer in a bathroom when soap and a towel work.
P.S. I'll give you the stupid. Our dog is more trainable than the skids were sometimes.
she keeps wipes in her car.
she keeps wipes in her car. i gave them to her when this first started. i believe she has sanitizer in her room from bath & body
"I didn't do anything wrong...."
That's also a mantra for one of my SSs and it drives me crazy. He makes excuses for everything. I'm sure he doesn't wash his hands, either. Up until a couple of years ago, he didn't flush the toilet (and he's a teen now, so he was well beyond the age when you should know to flush).
My favorite is when both Skids will tell me that there is no mess in an area I've asked them to clean up, even though I'm looking at the mess with my own eyes.
I think this gets into one of the most challenging aspects of stepparenthood. You are not supposed to say anything about behavior you would never allow from your own children...and if you do, you're the bad guy. Poor little CoDs can't be expected to act the way anyone else their age would be expected to act.
It's not worth saying
It's not worth saying anything to get excuses from DH. It is very windy today. I told DH the little skids should get their stuff from yesterday before it blows away...a couple wiffle balls and the bases. He says, "Do you that bases that I put out there?" I told him I don't care WHO put them out there, they could blow away. The defensiveness gets old.
Been through this with OSD
Been through this with OSD and YSD. DH will believe them over me any day. Even if that soap bar is dry.
Same with tooth brushing. Who got DH annoyed? A kid lying about brushing teeth or the adult who pointed it out?
I hope they have painful
I hope they have painful dental problems
OSD = yes.
OSD = yes.
YSD, she actually brushes ok and has just had a few cavities here and there. She learned quick.