Why are YOU doing the cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc. for HIS kids? Stop. That is HIS job. He did it before he moved in with you....that should not change. 

Well, you can either tell him he can see his kids elsewhere on his weekends or you could ask him to move back out and continue to date him or ... you could break up with him because you are not in tune with his lifestyle. 

There is no reason for you to feel that you have to be his and his kids skivvy.

An equity life partner has to be additive to your life.  This guy, though he may be the current love of your life, those often come and go by the way, is proving to not be additive to your life adequately to make him THE one.

Yes, someone else is out there. I have always found that when a breakup happens the next one that comes along has all of the best characteristics of the last with with a number of their own great unique characteristics.  Eventually, the one is right in front of you.... without the baggage.

Good luck.

I was in a similar position to you in that when I met my DH - my own bios were in their late teens and one of them had left for University, and the SDs, who were at the time 5 and 7, came every other weekend.  These times were a terrible trial to me, not helped by the tendency of DH to be a Disney Dad. After a year or so I disengaged - although I hadn't read about this here at that point - I just stepped back for my own sanity.  If I had it all to do over, ie well over a decade of my life being substantially ruined by the SDs and their high conflict mother, I don't know if I would have done it again.  But things are better now.  You still have a very long way to go with the 7 yr old. 

Yeah, as much as you love him, this may not be the guy for you.  You have at least 11 more years of skids in your home and having to deal with your BF's less than great parenting and having to pick up after them.  If he had his own place, he could see them there on the weekends and still spend most nights with you. Not ideal from a financial standpoint, but if that's not an issue, then it's the best solution.

My experience is that neat freaks can't let stuff go and other people's standards are generally not good enough for them - so what might seem reasonably clean to your BF won't seem that way to you, especially when it comes to his kids.  So he will begin to resent having to keep everything perfect, and you will resent having to live with less than perfect. 

If it's marriage you are looking for, I'd find someone at your stage of life - with adult kids who are launched.

What about having bf stay the weekend at his parents home if they live within driving distance? You could be honest with him and nicely say it's a little too much for you to handle having these children there on the weekend and you would like your home to be an adult home. Then his parents would also be able to spend time with the skids. 

my dh drops skid off at his parents house for overnight visits multiple times a week and this works out very well for us. His parents live 1.5 hours away. And the grandparents love it! 

Honestly, BF should move out. You've done it all already and don't want MORE. You can continue to date... but being a Step Mom isn't in your cards so you shouldn't have to perform as one. 

I would allow more space with him moving out. That way he can still be your BF, but he can focus on HIS relationship with HIS kids. And that way you still get to be YOU. I think he will understand you wanting a different lifestlyle.