Beyond your lawyer
Has anyone every gone beyond their attorney in this crazy fight? I found a group called The Fatherless Generation. They help reunite kids with parents where the mother cut ties with the father and they were never allowed in the child's life. They are all about redefining "deadbeat dad's". There was a story where they helped another Navy vet who's story sounds like a toned down version of ours. I sent them a message, they told me they can help and to call. I have left a message.
I was just wondering if anyone has done anything like getting an outreach organization involved in the madness. I don't know what else to do to help my husband. I know that we need to stop. I know that in my head. It doesn't help that there is this big hearing in 20 days. I am a freaking wreck. DH is sure that nothing will come of it and we are just tossing money down the toilet.
I just don't see how with like 6 contempt charges, her attorney writing his own journal entry that was NOT what the judge specifically called for and her current refusal to even communicate about SS's spring break flight that is in 5 weeks- how on earth SOMETHING won't change. Maybe it will be contempt but no financial recovery for us. Maybe we will actually get the writ of assistance. I don't know but something has to happen.
By the way, SS refused DH's calls again this week. He has texted both BM and SS and still no response.
- justmakingthebest's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I hope something happens, but
I hope something happens, but it seems to me that your judge is all talk and no action, as many of them are. Few are willing to tear kids from the parent they APPEAR to be tightly bonded with, and give them to the parent they claim to hate and fear. And they all know that many parents can't make teens do anything they don't want to do.
I do know how hard it is, though. What would this organization do to help?
I am not 100% sure. The story
I am not 100% sure. The story just had the Sailor thanking them and saying without them it never would have been possible. I don't know if they take things on to appeals, news, what... but I figured it was worth a shot to see what they can do to help. Maybe they have people that can go and testify about parental alienation and have an "expert panel" to help. Things that we can't afford to do or have the ability since SS's therapist was only a tool to further alienate and he hasn't even been but a few times, just enough to get a letter stating that SS doesn't feel comfortable around DH- of course no reason why.
Their website testimonials
Their website testimonials claim they help you find the best lawyers and also help negotiate fees down with those lawyers...I guess it can't hurt to try?
As with everything.. I would
As with everything.. I would listen to what they say.. but I do think you need to have a healthy dose of realism and skepticism...
Your case is heartbreaking. Your husband's son is clearly old enough to "know what he wants".. and to be able to communicate it. Whether this was brainwashed into him or not.. this kid does not want a relationship with his father right now. Maybe when he is older.. he will reconsider, but with the distance.. the expense etc.. I just don't see a positive path forward for the boy and his father.
Your problem is you live so far away from SS
If you were closer you could be in court every day. Not let the lawer handle everything. Setting up court dates having BM cancel after you fly in. BM has the upper hand here. Judges don't like letting kids out of there area. Judge don't like losing control.
You have an up hill fight for a number of reasons.
In BM Centric areas
the attorney representing dad knows there is no horse in the race. The dad's attorney knows that it's a goldmine through going back to court, filing endless contempt charges, etc.
We've had attorneys openly admit in the consult that dads don't stand a chance which is a dirty little secret. Most attorneys don't like the lack of win on their record so they are hesitant to accept but when they do, they know its a cash cow with no results.
Attorneys never helped Chef other than acting as a paper tiger. However a Pro Se dad in BM Centric areas doesn't stand a chance either. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Pretty much, I truly believe
Pretty much, I truly believe if Meth Mouth hadn't gotten arrested back to back DH never would have gotten custody. The judge they went before for all of their hearings thereafter was always admonishing DH for the stupidest sh@t. And our lawyer was okayish, she knew Meth Mouth was going to keep taking us to court and knew she was guaranteed a steady income from DH.
Our attroney has the "How
Our attroney has the "How much longer are we going to do this?" talk with us when ever something happens. He isn't a scum bag- Thankfully. However the way things keep happening in the freaking court, it is open ended and continued and of course blatent disregard for the actual orders. We get kind of stuck in the just wanting a final answer. Which we would have had this last time IF HER LAWYER didn't pull his shady shit.
We still would file contempt when she did what she does- and just like this time, we aren't going out there but we are filing. We just need the order to be written, written correctly and her held to the order.
DH had an attorney who told
DH had an attorney who told him to stop fighting, wait for SS to mature, and even wrote him a letter recommending that, so he could show SS if it ever came to that.
Not all attorneys are unethical.
And again
attorneys can sense when it's a losing battle and they don't want the repeated losses on their record
I don't agree with that, I
I don't agree with that, I think many attorneys are decent people
What does your husband want
What does your husband want to do?
ANYTHING to be in his son's
ANYTHING to be in his son's life. He is heartbroken.
Oddly, the least intuitive
Oddly, the least intuitive thing is the most helpful - let go of the rope. Get on with life, take care of yourself, and leave the door open for SS. I hope he is able to do that (and that includes not fighting to end child support, because that's not letting go of the rope, that's just more fighting with BM).
Yes the more he "child chases"
the more it will just solidify in SS's brainwashed mind that dad is some sort of "stalker" and "mommy harasser"
Or - he's mean and selfish,
Or - he's mean and selfish, and he never does what I want. If he cared about me he'd listen to what I want.
Tog and Think, I also agree.
Tog and Think, I also agree.
The more dad fights in court 'See son, dad keeps fighting with MEEEEEEEE. Why cant he just be nice to MEEEEEE.
Or go balls to the wall, hire Dr. Childress and Darcy Puter (sp)
Plus, there is zero chance
Plus, there is zero chance they will stop child support. They will have a trial and BM will show up with info about the new house you just bought, and SS will lie his face off, and the judge will order payment until he's 18.
Really - just let it go. I do know the desire to stick it to BM, but it won't work and it's not worth the money and stress, especially long distance. Stopping CS before emancipation age is a trial, not just a quick hearing.
I have no advice, but it can
I have no advice, but it can’t hurt to at least talk to them and see what they say they can offer. Your case is just shocking. It seems unlikely that you’ll get justice in court, but hopefully it will come some day in another way. And I sincerely hope that if/when karma does come back to give BM what she deserves, you’ll shout it from the rooftops.
Her case is normal in high
Her case is normal in high conflict. I know, we lived it.