Sd who is 8, disrespectful and BM hates me
I have 4 step kids. They all used to live with my husband and I fulltime but the past year, they have all moved out. We get to have his 8 year old daughter on the weekends. My relationship has always been rough with my SKs. As of right now, my husbad and I are in fights over his youngest and how I treat her. Husband says that Im too sharp with her, constantly riding her to pick up after herself and I wont let her fart in the car (yes, this has been a big issue). Recently my SD was talking disrespectfully to me unprompted, I sternly asked her not to do that and she ran off to cry in her room. Husband is upset with me because I was too sharp with her and I need to be more gentle with her feelings?? Later on, my SD was asking for my pie, I said no because she was being rude. That was the beginning of the end, all hell brike loose. I had to apoligize and let her have my pie. 3 days later, my DH gets a texr from BM saying that I need to go to parenting classes, I am BERATING their daughter over farting in the car and that I am with holding FOOD from her for "being a brat" (which i never said). BM also said in text to DH that I am abusing their daughter because of these things. This newest riff has caused alot of damage in my marriage. We are conteplating divorce. Am I wrong for having expectations for my SD and making her accountable for cleaning up after herself? Am I wrong that Ive asked the SD to not fart in the car? (she literally waits until shes in the car to fart). My Husband and I have a 2 year old son together just an FYI. I feel as though I have no say in my house, I get treated like crap from the Step kids and husband doesnt stand up for me or have my back. What are some options to get through this without divorce?
Disengage
You don't have to do anything for LIttle Ms. Farts-a-lot. You aren't her parent.
Read Stepmonster by Wednesday Martin, then disengage.
SD won't be able to fart in your car if she's with daddy-kins in his. She wants pie? He gives her his or she doesn't get any.
No way any sane woman would put up with this crap.
Don't rule out divorce. If the sainted first family is so important to him, he can go right back to BMs arms if he doesn't like the way things are going with you. You'll have dodged years of misery. Trust me, neither SD nor this situation will get better with age. Put your foot down now, or your hell will only be getting started.
How did you manage in the
How did you manage in the house when the other three step kids were living there? Were there any issues with cleaning up and being disrespectful? What has changed that now H doesn't seem to support and have your back.....This can be remedied but if your H is not willing to do his part he's going to end up divorced and having to now parent his child with you and his daughter on his own.
Wait - so you were
Wait - so you were sitting there minding your own business eating a piece of pie and this kid demanded that you hand it over? And your refusal was somehow wrong and grounds for a blowup among the adults? Unless this was the last morsel of food in the house and the kid had not eaten all day, someone is going to have to explain this to me.
As for the farting in the car, I would start keeping a stack of those cheap "tree" air fresheners in the center console and toss one in the back seat at her every time she rips one. Roll down her window and engage the child lock so that she can not put it back up. Turn up your heater and let her be cold until she learns her lesson. Apparently she has full control of her spincter if she can hold it until she gets into the car so she is perfectly capable of knocking it off.
Send her to school as gassy
Send her to school as gassy as you can. Let her be known as Stinky pie girl.
Logical consequences for her and her DH. You not her sibling so you don't have to share anything with her.
This is a common theme on here so keep reading. Basically, take a stand and disengage. Dump it all on daddy dearest. Let him suffer the consequences of his parenting.
I would never get into a car
I would never get into a car with her again.
And I would not have given her my pie, either - your DH is something else. I think divorce is probably the right idea, if this is his idea of being a husband and father.
This would be the straw pie
This would be the straw pie that broke the camel's back.
I would have thrown that damn pie in the trash before that nasty brat got it. In the trash or Dipshidiot Husband would be wearing it.
I would not stay married to Princess Flatula's pie boy. Divorce him and he and his stb mini wife can live happily ever after in Methane Manor.
Your home, your car, your
Your home, your car, your rules.
And no, you are not unreasonable in your no farting in the car expectations. Nor are you unreasonable in your withholding pie due to her crappy behavior.
Time to give DH some major clarity over how things will unfold if he does not pull his head out of his own ass.
- He will be on the hook for the better part of two decades of regularly increasing CS and limited time with the 2yo.
- He can parent, tell his XW to STFU and start being a man instead of XW's and SD-8's biotch. If he choosed not to. See the item above.
Get your kid out of that environment and minimize contact as much as possible. No kid should have to see their father fail at life, relationships and as a parent. Better to not see any of that all.
My SS has a GI issue and belches seemingly constantly. We do not allow it when he is with us and make him leave the room when he has to belch. He does not do it when anyone else is near. But on the telephone he has no cognizance of it and we have to tell him to hang up and call us back when he has dealt with it. He can control it but only makes an effort if we make it clear that it will not be tolerated. He is 27 by the way. This did not start until years after he launched. The docs don't have a clue what the issue is.
So I have an idea of how put off you are by the 8yo fart beast.
Lol... how petty is bio mum that she needs to bitch about
you telling sd off for farting in your car?? Like she isn’t embarrassed already??