CUSTODY HEARING THIS WEEK
My husband filled for custody of his son 9. He filed becasue BM moved 2 hours away and was denying us access to SS, We went to court back in April and BM wouldn't agree to anything as far a visitation so we now have to go before a judge and she was ordered to bring the child. I'm pretty sure she forgot about the court date becasue she hasn't said anything.
I am not sure what to expect or how this is all going to play out, I wanted to get a lawyer but my husband said we didn't need one.
My SS is a great kid and i feel bad for him. He lives with his mom currently and we have him every other weekend or when ever it is convienient for BM to drop him off, he just went home after being with us for 16 days for Christmas break. We know that he isn't cared for the way he should be, he is very thin and always dirty when he comes to us. His clothes are always dirty and he always smells like cigarette smoke becasue BM and her BF are heavy smokers amoung other things.
My SS admitted to us that he doesn't eat well when he is at home and that the ONLY time his teeth are brushed is when he is with us, he also isn't made to bath regularly. These are all of the reasons that we filled, he is being neglected but will never say a bad thing about BM. He didn't take any of his Christmas presents home with him becasue he said BM would try and sell them! Thats just SAD!!!
BM is a real piece of work, she gets child support but it's never enough. We buy his clothes, sneakers hair cuts she can't provide the bascis becasue she is too self absorbed and would rather buy a carton of smokes or some weed. Obviosuly we can't prove anything and the people that do know won't ever say anything against her so court will be her word against ours and I'm sure tears will flow becasue she is a good actress.
My husband constantly tells his son that he loves him (he never gets an I love you back). I'm not sure why that is, maybe SS feels overwhelmed when he is with us becasue dad makes him do basic hygeine.
Anyway, if anyone out there can tell me what to expect I'd appreciate it. Thanks
In my experience, court takes
In my experience, court takes forever, women are favored, and mothers like your BM lie their faces off to keep custody and child support. If you have no evidence of any of the stuff you are concerned about (ie, CPS reports), I wouldn't expect much - maybe a regular visitation schedule.
Oh, and your SS will also lie for BM if questioned.
At least without a lawyer he won't lose money, but IMO, judges don't take kindly to people who appear without lawyers and make it difficult. He has a legal right to represent himself, but all the legal mumbo jumbo gets confusing.
Well to address you believe
Well to address you believe MOM wont show up in court because she didn't say anything? dh may win by default...BUT
BM will sooner or later tell the court she forgot/had wrong date OR she made a "mistake". The Judge will be compassionate and let her back on calender and default will be over turned.
OR you may have a Judge who because she was ordered to bring the child, may put a warrent on her IF she no shows.
Your husband needs a lawyer.
I hate to bring bad news, but it is rare a custody order is changed because bm moved OR blocks visitation for that matter.
Custody will change quickly IF bm is arrested, handcuffed and on her way to the clinker IF and only IF she doesnt have minions to protect and say dads whereabouts are unknown.
Sorry your husband is going thru this. Sorry YOUR part of it.
Welcome to steptalk.
CUSTODY HEARING
Thanks. I know if SS is asked questions about his BM he will say she is wonderful, she is afterall his mom.
I feel bad for my DH, I consulted with a lawyer without telling him, I knew that we needed one if we really wanted to get full custody. We have to prove that BM is unfit and we won't be able to do that on our own, it really would have just taken one urine test. There is curretly no arrangement so I am guessing that the judge will at least put one in place.
Actually, drug use doesn't
Actually, drug use doesn't automatically make a parent unfit - you have to prove the child is harmed as a result of it. Get a lawyer and get documentation of all of BM's issues.
Child must be in immediate
Child must be in immediate danger. What is her drug of choice?
CUSTODY HEARING THIS WEEK
Meth so we are told, her and her live in BF.
Ask for a drug test.
Ask for a drug test.
BM didnt show up for our emergency custody hearing so we got temp custody, left the court room with papers had the police meet us at her house and got the kids. 3 months later we got full. She is a meth head too.
Good Luck to you both
Follow up to court date tomorrow
BM is supposed to be bringing SS for interview.
Has anyone ever been through this? What do they ask him?
I have a bad feeling that things aren't going to go well, and my husband is going to be very disappointed. I think if the judge ask SS who he wants to be with it's going to be BM hands down. He is very loyal to his mommy! I will let everyone know how we made out on Friday.
Follow up to court date
BM texted DH on Wednesday asking if he was actually going through with the custody request, he said yes. She said she was going to go because SS couldn't miss school and that is was a complete waste of her time not to mention she would have to drive 2 hours. Needless to say she didn't show up, the judge stated that there wasn't too much that she could do being that BM moved out of the county since this all started. We now have to refile in Allegheny county since that is where she lives. What a waste of time, she doesn't follow the rules and nothing is done.
We will have to wait and see if she starts up with her games again of not allowing DH to see his son.
This seems odd to me. My DW
This seems odd to me. My DW moved prior to the SpermClan filing for custody. The original court still heard the case though DW and SS had been out of state for a year. Since BioDad had not left the jurisdiction of the orginal court the case remained under that court's jurisdiction.
Different state but it makes no sense that the original court would not maintain jurisdiction.
smh
This is what we keep dealing
This is what we keep dealing with. BM and DH go to court and get new COs each time. Without fail, BM violates the CO. Every.single.time. She's never reprimanded or fined or anything. In fact, the last time we were in court my DH got scolded by the judge for "making her" come back to court because she hadn't followed the last CO.
Now she's asking DH to pay her legal fees, since it was "his fault" she had to come back to court... bevause SHE didn't follow the CO! Lol! What the actual eff?!?
We've had a few wins, but we've had to work much much much harder to get anyone to see our position than BM has had to work to make people believe her lies.
It's extra sh***y when the kids are in danger. BM has serious mental health issues and puts the kids' lives at risk. So DH and I can't NOT fight. But fudge, I am so tired of being in court, and extra tired of losing to BM the liar. Sometimes I'm almost jealous of the members whose skids are PAS'ed. If your kid is just a brathole, you can drop the rope. If you kid is in danger? Nope, have to keep up the fight.
I wish you luck. It's a long, hard road.
My DH has had that happen
My DH has had that happen with his ex. The court case is supposed to be where the kid resides, that’s where courts see jurisdiction. Basically the judge you saw doesn’t want the case and wants you to move it. You don’t need an attorney to have it moved. You can file to have it moved, it’s easier between counties then between states, then just file with the new county for custody.
Also, her withholding the kid when the court order states it’s your time is a criminal offense. If she doesn’t have justifiable cause, as in a court order emergency exparte for temporary sole custody or a temporary protection order from CPS (all of which you would legally be notified of) then it is considered a criminal offense.