Hiho hiho it's off to God knows we go

I can't find the user talking about adoption I commented on . A year or so I went nuts saying I'd adopt SD now 7. Yea I was quite ignorant. But of course the peanut gallery had some comments on me on that post. Again I was dumb when BM was going nutter butters. Unfortunately when is she not.

And some folks get wise with age but BM enjoys playing games. So SD7 is over. On the phone she tells her mom she never wants to leave here. BM replies if you don't have anything nice to say don't say it but.. I don't view it as an insult? We aren't like Disney parents here. We have time outs. Kids have to clean up after themselves etc. When SD4 wants to go home ( and I disagree with the whole set up) we never tell her that.

BM says well : " oh you could stay another night" ( meaning Sunday to Monday)

Which was hysterical because immediately from SD7 " dad and lady T have to work Monday"

Thanks BM on once again treating the other adults like pawns. I think I'd be a bit less bitter if she hadn't moved 1000 miles away for no reason. My husband is making 1/3 of what he could back home. But I think BM figured we'd stay home - supply money and be the random meet and greet parents. Jokes on BM. I might be miserable here but I do get some joy out of my husband who is stepping up and my eldest SD who frankly is starting to see me as her main parent which is... Odd.

I guess no real help is needed here but I'm so unsure of where this is going to go. We are getting a house by March. Eldest SD really seems to want to move in full time. This will be a train wreck because BM is always moty and the court order would be after or non existent ( leaving that drama to DH)

DH is telling me not to worry but I think I should be cautious. If we have SD7 full time things will be changing and he needs to be on it- not me

Sorry for the long endless post. Hopefully 2020 is treating you right

Lady.Tremaine's blog
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I guess I am not familiar

I guess I am not familiar with your past... did bm move 1000 miles away after she and your husband split and you both followed her?

She left giving us about 2

She left giving us about 2 weeks notice. No CO and even if we sued it was a gamble . She also left for no reason. No new job, family etc

So instead of even trying to

So instead of even trying to go to court, you packed up and followed her 1000 miles away to where your husband earns ONE THIRD of what he was (I assume you earn less too)???

I would think it would have been more cost effective to at least try once?

His lawyer at the time quoted

His lawyer at the time quoted around 10k. Which knowing BM like I do now I understand why he didn't . She's a fan of making drama. For example when she found out her eldest met me "as dad's friend" she threw a giant fit and demanded to meet me AT HER HOME which being a naive Lady T I did. She proceeded to bring her sister over to gawk at me as well. She would have caused a lot of legal back and forth.

Now that she's dating a young fellow which both of the kids know as her bf I almost want DH to throw the same fit for hilarity but no. Too much drama already

Just wondering - why would a

Just wondering - why would a 7-year-old get to decide where she lives? And would BM agree to that? The court isn't likely to make that change unless BM wants it.

I think I sort of answered

I think I sort of answered this in the reply below but with no CO the kids somewhat call the shots. And yes- trust me- I wish there was a CO. Everything from holidays to planning pretty much any mundane thing is uncertain and it drives me absolutely bonkers

So if SD7 comes to live with

So if SD7 comes to live with you, you don't think BM will go to court to get a CO to prevent it? She won't give up child support.

I'm not sure having a CO

I'm not sure having a CO makes as much difference as everyone here acts like it does. We are on CO version... 4? 5? BM never follows it. If we take her to court over it, there's not consequence. Once or twice she's gotten her hand slapped but a couple times DH has though too. It's a big fat joke. I used to be a big believer in the CO and believe all the people who said we need one. But it hasn't helped us at all. BM never follows it and we just keep paying money to lawyers and court to try to make her to no avail.

If your BM is as HC as ours, the CO is just one more thing for her to ignore and power trip on. Not sure I'd waste the money again, knowing what I know now.

Yes but if dad is planning on

Yes but if dad is planning on having full custody, he’d need to have something in writing. Right now he doesn’t even have regular visitations. How does he expect all of a sudden to have full custody (unless emergrency situation with BM neglecting their children or simething)

I personally prefer to live in reality. Reality is kids live with mom and there is no court order and dad just followed mom across the country and took 2/3 pay cut (it’s quite insane).

That’s reality. Everything else is not.