I'm sorry, not a very nice way to spend your anniversary.

Your husband has NO right to be annoyed with YOU.

Just imagine when the other kids start dating....he's really going to be playing chauffer and butler.....

Your situation is one of the ones that bothers me the most on this site. It's as if your H is getting paid to spoil and ruin his kids. The tail completely wags the dog in your child centric home, and you seem to have just given up.

No dinner left for the adults who provided it because the kids are allowed to be selfish pigs? Oh, H!#LL NO! No celebration for your anniversary? Why aren't the older kids supervising the younger ones while you and your H go out for a nice dinner?? And dad is still running a teen sex and chauffeur service, even after you supposedly put your foot down? Where is your righteous anger and disgust that your own bios are being taught this is okay? Why aren't you raining h@llfire down on your foolish, soon-to-be-a-grandpa H??

OP, you sound miserable and possibly depressed. Please make an appointment with your doctor to run some tests and discuss getting some antidepressants. You seem checked out, and I'm worried about you.

Nope nope nope. A THOUSAND times nope.

DH and I don't do anything super special for our anniversary since it's so close to Christmas (it's tomorrow), but he and I both know darn well that that day is OURS. Kids would have been left home or had a babysitter. It's the one day a year that it's solely and unapologetically about US.

I think you need to let your DH know exactly how much your anniversary sucked and how disappointed you are in him. If he tries to guilt you, ignore it. Stick to your guns.

The anniversary would be less of an issue for me (just don't care about that stuff) than DH again bringing the BF over after we talked about it, and not getting any dinner because his precious babies need to eat it all.  ALTHOUGH, I would have elbowed my way in to get some before SD and her BF took it all.  And how can he stand knowing his daughter is upstairs boinking her BF? 

Is this SD on any kind of birth control?????

My goodness if my own bios left me no food I would stock the entire fridge with Brussels sprouts, and a few other bland foods for a week and tell them to help themselves to dinner.

He does not respect you.  He does not care about you.  Can't say it any other way.  You have to take control or your marriage is doom 

Last year for our 4th wedding anniversary i had tried planning with hubby what we could do or a mini getaway for our anniversary 3 months in advance. Our anniversary falls during hubby’s work sport event commitments so i am flexible if we go say a week or two prior or after to celebrate- its no biggie.

hubby said he will let me know closer to the date of those sport events when we can go. If we can’t then we can go during my birthday which is the following month and do something really special and pampered. I was ok with this.

imagine how pissed off i was to be told by hubby while he was at work 3 days before our anniversary weekend that ss had messaged him minutes prior to state in 3rd person wording “ss20.5 will be free from date to date to take me and my sisters on holiday (meaning his full siblings), not me or our 2 kids who are hubbys bio kids too”

hubby tells me right away to book tickets and the hotel with his credit card that the 3 skids (sd23, ss20 and sd 14) are coming along for our anniversary weekend 

i responded with NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Hubby replies with I don’t understand what do you mean NOOOOOOOOO

this is when I responded with the above and why the heck would i want to spend our 4th wedding anniversary with 3 skids who have made it their mission to shun us, play imaginary happy family excluding me and my 2 kids, rant on and on non stop about bio mum and stepdad like they are relevant -NEWSFLASH “they aren’t”!!!

an anniversary is to celebrate us and us be the centre of attention, why on earth would i want to spend it like that? I asked hubby if he had gone cuckoo to even be so stupid to even enforce that as an option without even discussing with me- HIS WIFE!!

i then sent him screenshots of tickets back to my country overseas with my 2 kids and told hubby i was destressing courtesy of his credit card for a month maybe (price of $6,000 to fly out 2 days later), hubby was told to enjoy the above said anniversary/skid mini holiday sans his wife and our 2 kids and to enjoy being ignored, used as an atm and to hear his kids rant about bio mum and stepdad whilst i relaxed and lived it up overseas. 

Skids always throw hoops our way changing their plans so somehow them coming on our anniversary weekend would revolve around them and waiting for them- thats not how you celebrate an anniversary!!

hubby replies with no that he won’t let me fly overseas. I told hubby he lost the right to say no the moment he told me that skids were coming on our anniversary weekend...

that dumbass suggestion has so far never been a suggestion. I have enjoyed putting my foot firmly on the ground.

so op, tell hubby and message him that you spent your anniversary having sd and her boyfriend eat steaks. So what they couldn’t politely wait for stepmum and dad to get the firts bite first? Heck i was brought up that the family elders got the first bite and if you wanted seconds you asked first. I cook dinner and if hubby will be home in a half hour we wait for hubby to come home and eat together. This is just basic manners and respect but alot of stepkids are devoid of this!! 

This year i was overseas shortly for my university exams so hubby flew just before our anniversary just so we could spend time togetger. If ss was home it didn’t matter, hubby flew overseas since ss is an adult and should fend for himself. Hubby wasn’t changing his plans for skids who always change their mind and unreliable.