I have been saying this since April when H decided we needed to go to Disney and meet up with his extended family and said SD needed to come along and how much fun it would be! All I’ve been thinking about for 8 months is how crappy the vacation was going to be with her. I’d have to be with her for a week and share a hotel room with her. Oh all along H kept telling me that it will be fine and he’ll keep things light and how I need to “try” with her and maybe we’ll be super bonded after this trip. Before we left I even cancelled going to volunteer at the animal sanctuary the day after our return because he insisted that I should take SD with me while he is at work. No way! No matter how much I voiced my concern about her coming he kept downplaying it saying she’ll have so much fun and she can go party with her cousins and have a girls night with his niece. Even if she had gone, the niece has 3 kids and had to be home by 9PM on a school night for them and the cousin came for a 2 hour visit and then went home, so no, there would have not been any hard core partying as he suggested.

So anyways. It all started out fine. Her mother flew her up and we picked her up at noon and brought her home. She was waiting for us outside the terminal with her teddy bear in hand. A 22 year old clutching her teddy bear! On top of that with her bright pink hair, baggy clothes. She got in the car and I could smell her. She is taking after her hippie boyfriend and is apparently not bathing regularly, brushing her teeth  and has gained significant weight since we saw her 5 months prior. I was tired of her after the 20 minute car ride home because she wouldn’t shut up and just kept talking about nothing. I thought “How am I going to survive a week with her when I can’t even survive the car ride home?”. Everything is fine until about 6PM when H starts to talk with her about how she needs to do something with her life and get away from her do-nothing boyfriend (who she also complains about) and get out of the convenience store job in their small town. He asked her if she ever thought of trade school and then started pushing that and she started getting visibly upset. He backed off and she went to pout in the other room. We also found out for sure now that she did NOT graduate high school. She would never give him a straight answer saying she was taking online classes but failed one and then had to make it up but was still taking these Running Start college classes while in high school. So she says she wants to get her GED, but I doubt that is going to happen because she also talks about going to school to be an esthetician but that keeps getting pushed back. It always comes down to her excuse of how she has anxiety and depression and she just can’t do anything. Keeps reiterating that she has been medically diagnosed with both. Honestly I think she just uses that as a crutch to not do anything.

H finally engages her with some silly stuff and things are good again between them. SD even says that she and the boyfriend want to come up again for H’s birthday in February. About 10PM they sit down to play a video game. I go to bed and put in my earbuds so I can't hear them. I hear absolutely nothing until H comes to bed about 2AM and says "SD just left". Apparently everything was going ok until about 12:30 and then once again he started talking to her about getting a good job and she started bringing up her anxiety and depression and that's why she can't do anything. H told her that she's just using that as an excuse to accomplish anything and that she needs to get out there and put her mind to something and stop depending on her boyfriend and mother to back her up and tell her she shouldn't have to do this or that because she's depressed. Well this set her off and apparently she started yelling at H and immediately called her mother because her mother saves her every time. Started telling her how badly H was treating her and how he doesn’t believe she has anxiety and doesn’t think she’s valid. She was cowering in the kitchen and then on the back porch and was apparently screaming which I’m sure the neighbors appreciated at 1AM. H said she screamed to him 3 or 4 times "Do you want me to leave?" Finally the last time he said "If you're going to leave then leave, if not then stop threatening to do it". Must have called her mother several times and mother got an Uber for her, because SD can't afford anything, and SD packed her bag and was picked up by an Uber at 2AM going I don't know where because H never asked. We have the Ring doorbell so I could see and hear her on the phone with her mother and was crying and telling her that H keeps telling her that she doesn't have anxiety or depression and is just using that as a crutch and SD is saying "He doesn't believe that I've been medically diagnosed as such and doesn't think I'm valid". Then as she's leaving with her suitcase I can hear her saying "Don't ever contact me again. Mom and I don't like you and you're not my father". This is practically the EXACT things that were said and done 5 years ago when she had this same meltdown. H was upset by it all and said to me "I'm so sorry, I should have listened to you" because when we started planning this back in April I was leery about her coming and he assured me it would be fine and we'd keep things light. At least we were able to get a refund on her share of the room and tickets, which amounted to almost $800. Unfortunately we couldn't get a refund on her airline ticket and had to pay a $100 cancellation fee, but can put the cost of her ticket towards another flight before August of next year.

H finally came around by the time we got to the airport and said that he's done with her and the drama. He's tired of being the bad guy and being stressed out by her. He said that it's going to be up to her to contact him. Just a day into our trip I told him that things would have been a disaster with her. She wouldn't go on any of the rides because she's scared of them, she would never have been able to keep up with us walking around the parks. No doubt she would have had a screaming fit with H in our hotel room because she knows no other way of dealing with anything that she doesn’t want to talk about and would have been on the phone with her mother less than 24 hours after we arrived telling her that she wanted to come home and no doubt her mother would have paid whatever it took to fly her home. Her mother bails her out of EVERYTHING! She's never going to know how to be on her own. Of course, I'm elated by this once again because there's no fear of her coming up to visit or moving here. That girl needs to get her life together! She doesn't do anything because she always says she's too anxious. She can't keep jobs because she says how people hate her, her boyfriend's brother and his wife hate her and won't let her near their baby, etc. I'm so tired of hearing those stories. She'll go on and on about a new best friend and then a month later they are no longer friends because of something they said. Well as H said "I hope she has fun doing nothing in the small town she lives in with her do-nothing boyfriend and never moving more than 10 miles from her mom because she's scared to do ANYTHING!".

Then her mother texts ME, not H, a few hours later even though her mother has never ever texted me before and asks me to put the things SD left behind when she took off in a box and let her know how much the shipping is. She left her teddy bear, her dress (which she said was hers but is really her mother’s), her phone charger, her makeup. H told me to not respond or respond with “Stop contacting me. This is between H, SD and you NOT ME! Contact H if you need something”. I didn’t respond. I don’t ever want to see that girl again! All she is is depression and drama!