spouse clueless about hi/her biochildren
I was just wondering if anyone's spouse was clueless about his/her biokids. My husband i love him but he pisses me off that he is sooo clueless to his lazy, lying misbehaved children. For instance he thinks his 18 year old daughter is a virgin, because she is such a Christian (yeah ok) second his 16 year old is lazt as heck with poor grades but with him he does see that he is going to be a 40 year old still living with his mother. his youngest 9 is getting poor grades in school and acting up. and yet he is like DUH. ughhh that really makes me mad. because if he doesnt care and the biomom doesnt care, why would I waste my time when they are not putting in the effort. I have my own two boys to take care of. and trust me I am there for every school meeting, every appt, I email the teachers, they know me well in his school as an involved parent, I am on the PTA and I help my son with his work.
BM cares not abt ss. She
BM cares not abt ss. She ignores the fact that ss goes to school or eats. He has poor grades and she does not care. She does not help with anything at all. Huby allowes to do what he wants what would excepect. They think we are abusive and try to cover up by spoiling them
Some parents only see what
Some parents only see what they want to see in their own children. My kids are not perfect and we are going through alot that has nothing to do with SO or SD. But SO fails to see SD as anything other than this innocent little girl that she was at age 8. At 15 Sd is a liar, a thief, sexual promisscuois, manipulating, and down right mean. I have accepted that he will not see the truth till the day Sd winds up dead or in jail. I have my own kids and life to deal with. His choice if he wants to be a part of it but not at the cost of my own sanity.
My bride and I were fully
My bride and I were fully involved as parents ot SS-27 his whole childhood.
The SpermClan... not so much. "Oh, he can miss school to visit us if we want him to." Ummmm. NO! You get the time allocated to you in the CO and it clearly states that he cannot miss school for visitation. Visitation ended the day before school starts during alternating winter visitations and on any summer visitation where their 5wks of summer visitation was at the end of the summer.
My SS is the only one of the SpermIdiot's 4 all out of wedlock spawn by three different baby mamas who is worth a shit as an adult. He is the only one raised with clear and firm standards of behavior and performance in a household by parents who would not tolerate his missing school.
It seems pretty simple that parents who raise their kids with standards of behavior... raise better kids.
You can not o more then the birth parents.
DH is happy to see his kids in that golden light. He does not want to see his baby DD is having sex. Or his kids are doing so poorly in school. He likes to be the happy fool.
you can not make BM do anything, she happy to be BFF with her kids. No one is parenting them. There a group on this boards calling disengagement.
You have no choice, but to disengage. As in, if kids do bad in school. Not your problem. Not your circus. As long as they do not live with you, So what if SD has a baby. That BM problem, not yours. If SS becomes a couch surfer, not your problem as long it's not your couch.
There will be then no vacation with SK. None of your money goes to SK.