so I have been with my guy for about a year now. I’m 29 and he is a lot older than me with a handful of kids. Long story short there was a lot of controversy in the beginning when we were dating and his kids mom just had a baby, while I’m currently pregnant and due in two months. He has a 6 year old with BM who comes over on the weekends, which doesn’t bother me as much because I have a 5 year old as well. 

But since the new baby arrived I feel no emotions what so ever. I feel bad because he is so excited, but I have no interest what so ever and was dreading this day. Not sure if it’s because it reminds me of a dark time period in our relationship when the baby was conceived or the fact that I have another kid to take on. Or maybe it’s just my pregnancy hormones. I love kids and feel bad for feeling this way. My BF is so excited because that’s all he ever wanted was to be an incredible dad and he has tried his best to make me as comfortable as possible.

i just feel like I’m slowly losing myself because I work all week and then have to hang out with the kids on the weekend. I feel like he now has to spread himself even thinner and we definitely won’t have any time for just us and yet there’s still our baby to come! I’m still young and want to do a lot of traveling and exploring, but I don’t think it’s going to be possible in this lifestyle. I thought this might have been what I wanted when I decided to have a kid with him, but now I’m so unsure. I don’t want a house full of kids, I just want be the single tipsy aunt that travels lol.