And she doubled down
So my mother really annoys the crap out of me when she asks me about skids. I have no interest in talking about them when I converse with my mother. I never bring them up, and when she does my response is usually “fine”, “I don’t know”, or “they are with their mother” and then I change the subject.
Well today, my mother moved into her new home and she says that she can’t wait for me, my husband, the skids to come visit! Is she on drugs?!?! I will NEVER bring those damn skids to visit my mother! Why does she not get that she is not their grandmother!!! Like the What the hell?!?!
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Yeebus, my mother is the same
Yeebus, my mother is the same way! I'm like.. have we met? Bratty kids behaving poorly was something she never would tolerate when I was a kid.. but now suddenly she can't get enough of it?!
Your reaction seems very odd
Your reaction seems very odd to me.
I thank God MIL is so loving towards my bios. She was Instantly Gramma J. My step kids started calling my parents Mema and Papa before DH and I were even officially living together. I love that they all have such great relationships.
Why don't you want that for your family?
Yeah, I'm confused too. We
Yeah, I'm confused too. We've got the people on here who are upset that the in-laws don't accept their kids as grandchildren, and the ones who are angry that their parents DO accept the skids as their grandchildren.
My Mom isn’t overly
My Mom isn’t overly enthusiastic but she does ask if SD will be visiting when we come and does give presents at holidays.
I just hate it (for my Mom and Sister) that SD doesn’t seem to view my family as her family. Her BM has even told DH in the past “well, Stepmom’s family isn’t really SD’s family.” And based on SD’s attitude towards our visits, BM has said that same stuff in front of SD.
And my Mom and Sister have heard some of the SD stories before, so they know she’s no angel. But they’re nice people, so they’re going to include her. And I don’t share with them when SD complains about the gifts they give or pockets the cash and just leaves the rest of the card or gift laying around our house.
We’re a blended family too, so my Stepsisters try to include her too even though we don’t see them as much.
Your mother
wants you to bring the kids to visit and this is a problem? I am so confused. It's her home and her choice to invite who she wishes. She can also choose to be a grandmother figure to the step kids. Her choice, not yours. She could contact your husband directly and ask him to bring the kids for a visit.
Because...
I do not have bio kids. I never wanted to have kids and I married a man with kids (yeah I know...smh). However my husband and I have been together for years and now married for 1. We’ve been together for over 10 years. During our relationship I’ve maintained a distant relationship with the skids. I don’t hate them, but I don’t love them either. I’m just not a “kids” person. The skids are teenagers and primarily live with their mother. They come over but do not live with us. Over the years, my mother has interacted with the kids on a few holidays when everyone was at my house. But I have never taken the kids to her home. So I’m puzzled as to why my mother would think that now all of sudden I would bring the skids to visit her when I never have in over 10 years.
Sounds to me like since you
Sounds to me like since you don't plan to have kids, she's going to make grandchildren ouf of the skids - and the change is because you and DH are now married.
So because you made the
So because you made the choice to be childless you want your parents, who have step grandkids, to be grand childless?
You made your choice to not have bios, (good on you for knowing what you want!) you should also let them choose how they want their relationship to be with your step kids.
I totally get it.
I too don't have bio kids and never had any desire to have children--and I totally get where you're coming from. My parents have always been friendly toward my SD, but since they're fine with not having grandchildren, they don't overdo it. And I'm glad they're not falling all over themselves to be SD's grandparents because I occasionally go to their house to get away from the brat and her Disney dad. Not to mention SD embarasses me at any family functions she attends because of her horrid behavior.
If they want to...
If my mother and the skids want to engage each other, then so be it. Like I said, they’re teenagers with their own smartphones. I’m saying that I’m not bringing them to her house. My mother now lives 6 states away. I didn’t bring them to her house when she lived 45 minutes away, and I definitely will not be taking them across 6 states. I view my mother’s home as “my getaway” from my daily life. I typically stay over her house when I visit her...so bringing skids defeats that purpose.
I never said they could not have a relationship. I said I don’t want to bring them to her house with me when I visit her.