Good decision to block them. If they are not helping during this difficult time than there is no reason to be subjected to their BS. You are doing the best you can for your H. If they are not happy with his treatment and feel he is neglected they have the option of doing something about it instead of complaining. Ignore them, tend to your sick H and make sure he's happy and comfortable as much as possible.

Disengage and don't entertain what the SD's are or are not doing. They are irrelevant, just do what you need to do and take care of you & yours.

Nothing like a bunch of  Nancy come latelies swooping in and giving all this great advice while not offering a single bit of support in implementing any of their suggestions.

Why do you think that they want him to be at home?  Do you think that they feel like their inheritance is getting "spent up" at the rehab facility?  Do they have any idea what the cost is to hire workers around the clock to care for him.. the cost of renting specialized equipment? The risk of him being further from medical treatment.. the need for administration of medications and therapies that aren't as easy or even possible at home?

I have just a little brush with this due to my dad's illness last year.  He almost died from the flu and wanted to come home to die.  Which he did.. come home that is.. To rented hospital bed and bedside commode and 24/7 caregivers to assist him with all his needs.  Once you are at home.. the insurance doesn't cover all that around the clock care.. do they realize that?  We had it pretty good and were spending out almost 10K per month.  And.. my dad didn't require any specialized medications.. no shots.. no intensive therapy. 

He had a visiting hospice nurse a few times a week.. that was all that was "covered".

It may be that they are scared... and projecting their fears to you.  I can understand that..but they are forgetting that you have your own pressures and fears.. and so does their father.. and what they are doing is making things worse for everyone.

While I am not a big one for writing letters to family... because they can cause hard feelings if not crafted carefully.. in your situation, it may be the best/easiest way to get your point across to them.

But first.. what does your husband want?  Do you want to try to bring him home when he is closer to passing away?  I know that's a hard subject.. but what you and he want together should be the goal.  Also.. what is possible?  Financially etc..

Dear X & Y,

I'm so sorry we are all going through this.  I know that we are all dealing with many emotions and fears and honestly, some days it's hard to get through, but we all need to remain as strong as possible for your father. 

Right now, your father is in the best place to get the best care possible.  There may be other facilities out there, but this one was recommended by his doctor and he has said that he is happy with the care he is recieving.  I would like nothing more than to have him at home, but I am also aware that I am in no way capable of caring for him properly.   We would have to hire full time caregivers and even then, your dad would miss out on valuable and important medical care and therapy that can't be reproduced at home.    I can't physically lift him.  So, we would have to have people on hand that could.. and the cost of that?  it would be prohibitive. 

Your dad isn't in rehab because I don't want him at home.. it is because medically, financially and physically, it is the only option available to us.  I wish that was not the case and if you have any solutions to these issues, I would be happy to hear them.. but I can't continue to field complaints about a situation that is beyond my control to change.

I know you love your dad.. I love him too and that is why he is in the place that is best suited to give him care at this stage in his illness.

I am so sorry to hear about your husband's terminal cancer.  I can understand his daughters wanting to spend time with him while they are able to - but his care is not up to them, it is decided by you and him jointly and they will just have to like it or lump it.  At such a stressful time, the last thing you need is them making trouble for you, so I think you did the right thing in blocking them. They should be supporting, not criticising.   And yes, they are probably worried about their inheritances getting spent.  Tsk! 

It can be so exausting. My MIL, DH's mother, is the sweetest thing, but at 97 she needs care. The way of their family is that the older brother is living at the house 24/7, but he gets weekends off.

She is about 100 lbs, and can walk by herself to the bathroom. I have spent some time taking care of her. It is WORK, without all of the challenges you and your husband have.

When my MIL has a medical issue, everyone rushes up with advice. When this happens the brother caring for her just really doesnt need a lot of input.

I agree with ESMODS very lovingly worded letter. Just respect that they are NOW caring for him (motivations aside...) and definitely if they cannot give love to their father (and you), they will need to stay blocked.

This is one of my worst fears. DH is 10 years older than I am and SD (40ish) is a control freak and knows what’s best for everybody in any given situation. All her ideas are brilliant and should be obeyed, and when they aren’t DH is punished. DH himself created this, and I blame him more than BM. 

If this were me, I’d have to have a frank conversation with her and tell her to back off. Then block her if I needed to. 

You must take care of yourself so that you can provide best possible support for your DH. You are carrying a massive amount of responsibility. I am so sorry about his illness. 

Neglecting dad in a caring facility yet they do not take initiative to care for him...

Sorry you and he are dealing with this.  I think you blocking them from contacting you is fine; they can talk directly to him, he's not in a coma or demented.  

But please don't block them from visiting him.  They are his kids, regardless of what you think of them.  If he wants them blocked from coming to see him, he can implement that.