Or name article you are talking about.

This is a tough issue for the courts, and ironically for this study's author, it really does have to do with how successful alienating parents are at convincing the court that their allegations are true.

Alienating parents, because they are very good manipulators, tend to be better at convincing the court that abuse allegations are true; women and men who are not alienators aren't as manipulative, follow the rules better, and therefore have less success at getting abuse allegations believed.

The woman whose son was killed followed her attorney's advice to be careful about accusing the father of abuse - an alienating mother would not have followed that advice.

Court has to begin collaborating with trained mental health professionals that really know this stuff, and are chosen by the court, to suss this stuff out.  It can't work any other way.  

The family court cannot make rulings about abuse. You HAVE to present evidence not just hearsay or claims. If you have a criminal case open or already ruled upon the judge can make decisions based on that but instead you waited till a custody case and made a claim without offering proof.

That’s the issue. So many people wait until there is a custody case and there is nothing that court can do about it. I know in the past a lot of woman would wait till a case to make a claim and it was almost a go to for lawyers to try and restrict dad’s contact. They produced no evidence and just BM’s word was enough. In our own case BM tried claiming SO was dangerous while in fact she was the abusive one but no one wanted to believe that.

The thing is IF he is that abusive why did you wait until custody? Why did you not seek legal protection? That’s not exactly the right way to put it because we know there are reasons why but you CAN’T wait and expect the FAMILY court to make a ruling. They will see it as a manipulation technique and it will hurt your case. A family judge has to follow the law and can’t restrict contact biased on word alone.

Is that not all custody cases are adjudicated in the public record.  Where I am, all custody cases are handled privately.  You can't query the records, there's not a transcript, etc. unless the case is appealed to a higher court.  That may not be the case in other jurisdictions, but because it is, it's difficult for me to accept this study as meaningful multi-jurisdictional analysis.  Also, the study fails to account for societal changes in the period of examination.

Further, the study's author has falsely equated alienation and physical abuse.  Alienation (and other manifestations of emotional abuse) is difficult to prove and more often that not, ignored by the courts as a result, whereas physical abuse is rarely ignored, if presented.  And as we know, and have discussed at length here, as difficult as it is for women to come forward about abuse--particularly physical abuse--it is even harder for men to men to come forward.

The fact that the study is still unpublished is enough for me to take what it says with a few grains of salt.

Two questions: first, what percentage of the cases were women and men claiming abuse, and second, what kind of "abuse" were they looking at?

Do kids slip through the cracks? Absolutely. It's heartbreaking when it happens. However, we don't hold memorials for kids who are PAS'd or so emotionally scarred from deadbeat parents that they can't function into adulthood like we do when kids are killed. There are MANY, MANY kids who are victims of a family court system that are stuck with the mindset of traditional parental roles and traditional forms of abuse, but those kids don't get recognized because they are alive.

I just can't shake the feeling that this study is unbelievably biased. I'd have to read it if it ever gets published.

Years ago I had a friend who waited until her husband filed for divorce to claim that he was sexually abusing their son. It dragged out for a long time and very publicly because both parents were prominent in the community. Eventually the father was awarded full custody because the allegations were proved false and she had gone to absolutely insane lengths to alienate the child. Up to and including having him committed to a psychiatric hospital and claiming he had PTSD due to his father’s abuse. The whole thing was a horrific mess.

The day that she lost custody, the judge let her take the child home to pack all his things, but sent a police officer with her. She killed her son and herself while the officer was waiting in the living room. The judge in that case was so devastated that she retired immediately - even though it was evident to everyone that she’d made the right decision awarding custody to the father.

This was obviously a very extreme case, but I know of so many other instances where women wield abuse allegations like a weapon. I can see how they believe it’s a foolproof way to get what they want because with the exception of my late friend’s case, it usually seems to work out in the woman’s favor.

It's a fine line to walk with these situations... Idk if this study is fully accurate since it only hit one side...

I get tragedies happen, and it's awful. But without solid proof, it's really hard for a judge to really side with someone either way.  It's the balance between ruining someone's life on what may be a lie, and keeping the kid safe if it's the truth. But it's so hard to really recognize which one it is.

Even harder so when they never filed anythign incriminal court first. If they wait until custody, it makes it seem more like a last ditch "stay away from the kids they're minnnnneeeeeee" type of thing. 

And how many BMs on here do we know that have falsely cried abuse in court just to try and get her way?

I don't envy a judge in this situation. It's just tough.

If you peruse any men's divorce forum, the first thing recommended is for the father to constantly wear a recording device in order to protect himself from, and have evidence to refute, false claims of abuse.  There are most definitely women who falsely claim abuse in order to give themselves an advantage in divorce court and custody battles.  Those women are making it difficult for the true victims.  It's similar to false rape claims.  I don't know what the answer is - lying, scheming, often mentally unfit parents, whether mother or father, make it difficult for everyone. Unfortunately, there are plenty of them around.