First, I would like to thank everyone on this website for the most beautiful gift.  The gift of peace.  You have shown me how to disconnect and set up healthier boundaries around my heart and life.  I stopped taking on all of BioMom and DH responsibilities, took myself out of the middle of it, and started saying no on the rare occasion to DH.  I had far less interaction with BM and it made my life SO enjoyable.  That said, we are still dealing with court, we ran out of money to pay to finish the Custody Evaluation, we spent 14 hours one day in mediation, and accomplished nothing.  In seven years she has managed to go from Mom who never wanted the kids and dumped them on me (all of the past seven except the last one), Mom who first married an abuser, then Mom who wanted to marry and fought to marry a man who was a convicted sex offender who abused the kids, who then she helped get off the sex offender registry and promptly broke up with, AND make me look like the horrid stepmonster who convinced the kids that the CONVICTED sex offender was bad (but that he was really good) and go from scrambling to try to get a court ordered protective overturned to the one demanding majority custody.  Why?  That is a good question, but it all involves mistake after mistake on the part of DH, and now, when I am done with the drama.  When I truly don't give a crap what loser she dates or marries next, when I don't care anymore what happens to the kids because I realize they are mini versions of her and I am nothing to them, except a puppet for their needs and amusement,  NOW he wants to sink his teeth in.  He wants to dig his feet in.  Now, after a year and a half of me telling him he needed to go to the schools and talk to their teachers, but NEVER did.  Now, after I told him he needed to take action with his eldest son, or it would be horrible in court.  NOW, he wants to frantically ask me what he can do to regain the upper hand, and EVERY time he talks about her he gets SO angry, that it is NOT seeming like he will ever get over the hurt of her cheating and then leaving.  So, now what?  I guess I stop offering advice, and just sit here while he pushes back and risks everything over last minute stubbornness.  I just sit her, explaining what I think is ridiculous choices, but follow up by telling him I will support his decision with regard to his kids no matter what.  Secretly envisioning a life where we live on a beach and pick them up from an airport every summer (or not if they don't want to come), and have our lives back in order.  A life without their obnoxious loud screaming voices they got from her, or their perpetual fighting.  A life where I NeVER have to see her or deal with her again. A beautiful glorious peaceful life.  When or if the kids were to complain of something about their Mom again, I would just listen, and ignore.  After all, they learned to lie from her,  and she is a pro. I could take it all with a grain of salt, not fall into the traps, and have time to get a latte with friends, read a book, play my instrument, etc.  that life would be even better than the one you guys helped me get.  Am I the only one who has dealt with this kind of thing?  Let me know.