Just a rant

Forums:

I generally lurk, and have had several user names since I forget passwords. But I stopped by for a rant. I find SD 34 and SD 37 beyond contemptible. I am not in their lives, nor they in mine as of 5 years ago when they went waaaaay beyond bad behavior, but with two very recent family tragedies, their entitled behavior stirred up all the old history and the feelings that came with. DH is a good guy, and when his mother DIED, they triangle BM and BIL to complain that dadeee hadn't called them to comfort them in THEIR loss and of course BM and BIL wade in with DH because DSs are just so special and grief stricken (between sleeping in and drinking late) DH was more concerned about his elderly dad, and although SDs were planning to join family gathering, they apparently thought they were worth a six hour wait. DH got tired of waiting around and FIL needed a nap. This is not new. An I'll be there at noon, means 2 at the earliest. The other death was that of my son, whom DH loved and helped raise. I didn't expect anything for myself personally, but I am just blown away at their inability to even register that this might be a loss for their father. Nothing. Not even a note. Although ODS did send a fb dm to BS and BD. Big of her. I just hate them. I hate that they remain entitled and selfish and that DH gets nothing from them except the barest acknowledgement. I think it would be less painful to get nothing. Arggggggggh. Okay, steptalk. Disengagement tips. I clearly got back on the hook and I want off.

Just bah

Dread

I dread the day that I will be faced with what you are going through now. This is something entirely out of your control and there you are, abruptly being placed back into 'stephell as usual' without even trying. For one thing BM has no legal or moral right to say anything.

I have a friend who is going through this very thing after her SO passed away. It hasn't been fun. Eventually she had to tell SD to get in touch with the lawyers instead of calling her.

What I have done is made a contingency plan. If I am faced with any 'loss' on DH's side I will not allow SD in my home unless a friend of mine is present. And following in my friends' footsteps, I will advise SD to talk to our lawyer instead of bothering. me. I already realize that 'guilt and duty' will be heavily employed by whomever but if that happens I'm ready for it. Your real friends will know it isn't you.

I am so very sorry at the

I am so very sorry at the loss of your son. That is heartbreaking.

Your anger and disgust is righteous. I hope with time they will fade into the background again. Disengagement doesn’t mean you are oblivious to the pain caused by assh0les.

Thank you. It's been a

Thank you. It's been a rough spring. My son's death was devastating, he was such a gentle soul and just a really kind and good person. You kind of wonder where the justice is that druggie ho YSD gets to live.

So sorry

So sorry you are having to go through this when you should be able to properly grieve for your son and MIL. What a selfish bunch of skids!

Suggestion

The most important relationship is one with yourself. I lost my only two teen sons also. I am extremely sorry for your indescribable pain.

Six years ago I kicked DH out to SD'S house. They kept saying I wouldn't allow them to spend time together, which was the furthest thing from the truth....OUT...there you go!

Long story short, I was heartbroken, I missed DH terribly; but...I knew it was totally miserable for him also and I needed time to repair myself. It took me a few months, but I worked through it. Then came total disengagement from my SD and her toxic family. That I have been working on, doing well for six years, I am having an honest relationship with myself with hobbies, friends, my fur babies, etc.

My point, I cleared my thinking and became stronger than I ever dreamed was possible. It was not easy and at times is still difficult.

One reality, as long as I am married to my man, he comes with baggage such as his Princess daughter. I took myself out of the equation and she will never step one inch back in my life.

How you get back on track, you will figure out. I did it, I get it, and I send hugs. I could not have known how, without this site.

I am sorry for your loss, too

I am sorry for your loss, too, Samigirl. Thank you.

Bah

So your husbands mum passes away

meaning your husband would be heartbroken and grief stricken just like his dad but somehow stepkids are way more special that grieving daddy needs to shower attention on them??

when a family member passes away, you offer support for the spouse, the bio kids and even their parents. Not console grandkids as a priority...

those skids/bio kids chucking a hissy fit just shows how inconsiderate of others they are. By the way, did the grandkids actively actively stay in contact with their grandma or was it more only show temporary attention when she is an atm?

You got it. Just enough time

You got it. Just enough time with the elders to stay in the will.

Bah

You suffered a loss and your

You suffered a loss and your husband suffered a loss. Be there for each and forget about the brats. They never gave you any reason to believe they'd handle this any other way than how they handle everything.

I know I am in for the same thing in time. All you can do is be the support to him that his kids aren't. It will bring you closer and his kids will be outside looking in.

I'm sorry for your loss and this skid BS you're going through.

I can't imagine how difficult

I can't imagine how difficult things must have been for you and can't seem to find any advice that I think would make your situation any easier, therefore I simply send you a virtual hug and hope that sooner rather than later the skids slip back into the shadows and you all have the time to refocus on yourselves and your grieving process.

We all celebrate the love we share.

Again, my condolences.