Well, it has been a while since real family conflict was stirred up, but...my BIL (who I always had a good relationship with) is marrying a very annoying woman. My DH and BIL have never been close, but we all make an effort for the kids. I get the feeling that BIL is jealous of DH for various reasons, and I also think BIL harbors some weird romantic feelings to DH's ex-wife.

Most of the conflict between DH and BIL is the lack of support DH got from his family, but especially BIL, when he split with his ex. I don't know the details, but it seems that BIL used the split as an opening to start hanging out with DH's ex all of the time. When I came into the picture, things had simmered down a bit between BIL and DH and BIL began being more supportive to DH, but bad blood remained.

Anyway, all that aside -- my DH's ex is a master of alienating the kids from us, she specializes in making them feel that they can't speak to me when she is around (otherwise my relationship with the kids is good) and she is really cold and evil to me. I'm not responsible for the split, but she blames me for DH's happiness and who knows what else.

Anyway, new soon to be SIl invited the ex to their wedding. When pressed, she said she gets to make her own decisions about who she is friends with. There is more to this story, but the sum of it is that I now can't stand her and am having trouble imagining seeing her at Thanksgiving without tossing a pie at her.

Advice? Ideas?