BM ignores fact SD14 wants to have a baby
So SD told us this weekend that she wants to get pregnant.
DH text BM and tells her, she ignores it and ask for money. (annnnoyiing i know).
DH text was: " I am worried about SD, she told us this weekend she wants to get pregant this summer. What are we going to do?"
BM ignores and ask for 200$. DH said no then replies with "We need to talk about SD wanting to have a baby, she is has to total freedom at your house, do you know who she is running around with and where she is going? "
BM ignores it, she doesn't care, all she wants is money. She refuses to talk to him about it, if its in person she just walks off. DH likes to have all info in writing because BM twist things.
At this point if BM is not going to do anything we can't either. We only have EOW, and last few months BM doesn't make SD come for our weeknds. She said SD rather hang out with her friends.
SD told us she hasn't stayed at home more then a night or two in a few months. Which we know is true.
What do you with BM doesn't care, SD does what she wants and is to stupid to understand what will happen if she gets prego?
Take her ass to Planned
Take her ass to Planned Parenthood and throw her on Depo. It'll last three months. Just ensure you can see her every three months.
WTH?Buy this kid a doll...
WTH?
Buy this kid a doll...
14yo and wants to have a baby?
Someone should seriously sit this CHILD down and have a conversation with her about the consequences of early pregnancy and the actual cost raising a child.
Then make sure she is on birth control.
Just Wow.
Why is DH trying to co-parent
Why is DH trying to co-parent with this woman? Clearly she's not capable of it.
Where is the kid staying? If it's a lack of supervision issue on BM (as in, she's letting her run wild at 14 - staying wherever she wants), then DH should call CPS.
Otherwise, try to get her on Birth Control, but she has a choice in that matter, and I doubt she'd agree to it.
I think that your SD
I think that your SD definitely needs counseling. If she is wanting a baby that young. Something is not right with her. I am just wondering if she could have just said that to upset you guys. My SD15 will say things to DH to upset him. She knows exactly what buttons to push. If not, then she needs to work through whatever issues are causing her to want to get pregnant. She definitely is not ready. Maybe she thinks it will get her attention?
Also, I am not sure where you are located, but I know for a fact in our state, you can't force her to go on birth control. Dh talked to SD15's doctor about it when she lived here and he said they wouldn't forcefully give her the shot or IUD. I think counseling may be your only option unleas you can get the courts involved.
Your DH needs to drag her a$$
Your DH needs to drag her a$$ to the doctor and get the implant. 3 years! That would at least get her to her sr. year of high school. Like I said before if she won't agree or BM does something to stop you, get a court order. Fight it. Get something to protect yourselves so you don't wind up having to take care of a baby too!! This is a don't pause but MOVE situation.
https://www.nexplanon.com/what-is-nexplanon/?src=google&med=cpc&camp=Nex...
PS- I told my DH about your
PS- I told my DH about your situation last night. He said that I would have to drag DD (I am the only one with a girl) to the doctor. Demand it be put in. If DD said no, tell the doctor to leave to room, beat the shit out of her, then get the implant and maybe have an x-ray ordered after for her face.
We don't actually beat any of our children, but a 14 yr old getting knocked up, and on purpose to boot is not even remotely ok. If BM won't stop the nonsense, then your DH better find a way or you know who will be paying. BM can't even acknowledge her daughter has issues- she just wants HER money.
DH is about to be done with
DH is about to be done with SD, which is pretty bad for him. He thought up until a few months ago that she did no wrong. Now he is seeing what a terror this child is.
Can a court order a kid to go
Can a court order a kid to go on birth control? I don't think many doctors will do it against a kid's wishes.
CPS might be your friend here
CPS might be your friend here, but make the call anonymously.
The sad reality is, at 14 this girl's personality and values are pretty set. Her mother has raised her to be trash, and her father has little influence. Her life is likely to be a bumpy ride of mistakes, regrets, and being dependent on others. As SD gets more out of control, she and and BM will clash; BM will grow tired of the monster she's created and eventually try to dump her on her dad. Textbook stuff, really. DO NOT ALLOW THIS!!
If your partner wants to make an effort to tame his daughter now so be it, but you need to be smart about erecting strong boundaries NOW that will protect you from her poor choices LATER.
Know your limits, and avoid getting sucked into this. Don't let SD's issues control you, don't enable, don't give her financial support, don't let her dump her future welfare recipient kids on you or use them to manipulate you, and never, ever let her live with you. Discuss, and prep now to deflect the poo that will be rolling downhill.
BM replied to DH, we are
BM replied to DH, we are lying SD said she never said it.
SD wouldnt ever think of doing that. I knew it would happen.
Now SD is acting like a victim she is very good at this. She will play BM against DH and DH against BM. Then of course I get alot of BM for being involved. Not my child she said so I should step out. But when SDs action affect me I have a say.
I'm not sure there is a whole
I'm not sure there is a whole lot you guys can do about this problem - at 14, with a lenient parent who will let her do whatever, she's not going to listen to the stricter NCP. If CPS won't take it, I don't know what other options you have.
Maybe tell BM that if SD gets
Maybe tell BM that if SD gets pregnant, the CS would be paid directly to her and BM wouldn't get another penny ... That might shake her up a bit.
Contact CPS and
School counselors at her school. You need to cover all your bases, that your DH has done everything in his power to get this solved with BM. If you really want to freak BM out, and if she has made all these comments in a text, send her a text: "Dually noted for next court proceedings".
In California, any girl under the age of 15 that gets prego, CPS steps in and some cases the baby-daddy can be charged with rape.
I doubt that he can force her
I doubt that he can force her to go on BC. But he could have a serious talk with her and tell her that if she gets pregnant she will be out of his life permanently and that he would not even agree to see a baby much less give her a dime.
Of course he doesn’t have to mean it. He just needs to convince her that he does.
Well if she doesn't want a baby ...
She won't mind the birth control shot!
It sounds like talking to BM
It sounds like talking to BM is a waste of time. Unfortunately I think you have done about all you can do. As someone on here told me when I was trying to fix the situation with my own SD, you can't care more than the parents.
Had the same situation, sd
Had the same situation, sd was 15 on birth control but came and told us she was pregnant!! She said she stopped taking the pills as it mucked her period up! What did she think was going to happen.!!!!!!
In this case thank god I dogged the bullet and sd mother in law took her in and helped with baby.
Would make it very clear to hubby and sd that no way if she got pregnant was she to live with you or your help with the baby. MAKE IT CLEAR SHES ON HER OWN AND MAKE THIS VERY CLEAR TO HUBBY. Accidents happen and that's different from a 14 year old going out to deliberately getting pregnant. ( not sure if she will get any benefit as too young. No in our case sd didn't get anything.
If you or school counselled can somehow get some sort of birth control...please do. It's the poor kids that suffer at the end. Sd kids yes she went on to have another one a year later both been taken off her and now live with the father (who thought she was on birth control she lied to him too) and his patuner. (Let's if messed up lives from her being a selfish cow)
really feel for you.....start with school counsellor and make her go.