SD talks to her BM when she goes to BM's once a week and EOW. If SD is with us for longer periods like a holiday, then she'll call BM and talk to her on the holiday. 

SS rarely talks to BM when he’s with us. Even when we have him for longer periods of time during the summer and breaks. She will call when she wants his attention or is feeling down (she’s made him her mini husband)  but other than that neither bothers. 

Dh and BM only contact each other in emergency via phone. Anything else is done through email. I would say they email about once or twice a month and it’s usually school pic order forms or the like. Now the court order says the child should be allowed access to their other parent aka allowed to talk on the phone whenever they want. BM has blocked SS from calling us bc he would do it a lot. When BM was playing mom of the year to new stepmom, she would call him once a week to check on him. But that didn’t last long. During the summer (50:50) DH calls once a week. Kid is 8. He hardly has anything going on and he sees her once a week for his baseball game and she goes to have lunch with him every week at school. There’s aboslutely no need for a phone call too. 

Cut off all contact 5.5-6 yrs ago so she could kidnap sd’s. She only reinitiated contact mid last year and had eldest daughter ask hubby for his number and bio mum then contacted him. Apparently the 5.5-6 yrs she abandoned ss and kidnapped the sd’s she had really missed him. 

You just gotta roll your eyes on that, you don’t have a right to play this narcissistic bs that you miss your kid when you abandoned him. You lost the right to claim you missed him when you abandoned him.

there are idiots out there that justify bio mum saying she is allowed to miss him and feel how she feels but they aren’t stepparents.... 

sd’s haven’t lived with the mum since 3yrs ago, sd23 visits her mum every few weeks and her mum apparently pops in. Hubby has no communication with bio mum since initiating divorce 12 yrs ago, he deals directly and communicates directly with his kids.

any bullshit (which is every message bio mum sends to eldest sd who forwards to her dad), hubby ignores and doesn’t respond to. Hubby feels bio mum lost the right to play responsible parent after all the crazy shit she pulled. Since only the 3rd kid is 14 and a minor as the others are adults, hubby just pays the child support to bio mum and lets them be. If they don’t want to contact him for months so be it. Hubby shouldn’t have to contact them everyday giving the impression they are the sole focus of his world. If they can’t be bothered to maintain a relationship then so be it. Hubby gets on with his life. Now they only contact hubby when needing money or favours for themselves or their cousins from bio mums family. Yeah hubby really wants to help do favours for batshit crazy dysfunction and co....

SS is an adult (19) and lives with BM.  I honestly don't know how often he and DH text. My guess would be a couple times a week.  DH sees him probably once a month or so. 

DH and I email back and forth through the day, usually, when we are at work.