Time to give up?

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No matter how much BF tells his kids to greet me when they see me they continue to think it's okay to not say hello or goodbye to me. It doesn't matter if I say hello first they still choose to not respond back, yet still expect me to do nice things for them. BF expects me to enjoy their company and want to be around them, yet when I try to talk to them or ask questions they choose to ignore me. It's very frustrating. I've always gotten along really well with kids but Everytime I am around his 2 kids their behavior just makes me want nothing to do with them.

At this point I don't care about his kids liking me or trying to be friends with them, I'm pretty much past that. However, what I refuse to tolerate is their blatant disrespect. I feel bad for BF because it must be difficult to see me interacting and enjoying the company of other people's kids, but choosing to not want to be there when his kids visit.

I'm tired though. Tired of watching him coddle and baby these kids to no end. Tired of being disrespected by them. Tired of seeing them get away with things and never having consequences. Tired of watching them being endlessly spoiled. Tired of not being able to have an actual conversation with him or hug and cuddle him just because they're around. And I feel even worse because I know any dreams he has of us living in a house together won't come true unless he let's go of his fear of his kids not wanting to visit anymore and sets rules and boundaries for them. Every decent parent has to be the bad guy once in a while, but he doesn't want to understand that and just do what's best for them, me and our DD. Things are great when his kids aren't around but they bring along a dark cloud Everytime they visit. I love the bond he has with our DD and he already sees how different she is from his 2 and she's only 7 months. I'd hate to see him become an EOWE dad to her too, but I don't know how much longer I can keep trying with him. It's draining for both of us.

Your only hope of salvaging

Why, oh why would you choose to bring a child into this mess? This man has shown you that he's not quality parent material, you weren't on the road to blending at all, and now you've added another child to the mix.

Your only hope of salvaging your relationship is counseling, lots of counseling.

In the meantime, stop trying with the skids. Let your H handle all the cooking, cleaning up after them, laundry, etc. Do not reward bad behavior in any way.

Yea, you don't have any

Yea, you don't have any options other than leaving now, which puts your own kid at a disadvantage. Bookmark this site.

We didn't choose to bring

We didn't choose to bring another child into the world but it happened and now we're trying to figure out a way to make everyone happy. I dont do any of those things anyway, so cleaning is not the issue. It's just the disrespectful attitudes and not wanting our DD around their BS.

I don’t think casting stones

My SS is disrespectful too. When he gets mad he tells me he never wants to see me again. It use to sting, but it has no meaning at this point. BM tells him he doesn’t have to like me or his baby sister that his father and I brought into this world together. He is only 6, so I imagine it’s not going to get easier the older he gets... Is love to know if you find any pointers in making the relationship work with the skids and BD. I love my DH and want to make our blended family work.

I wonder if BM puts things in

I wonder if BM puts things in their head that make them act like this. That's why I need to put a stop to it now because I know how awful teens are and from reading on here, teen skids are worse especially if you have no bond with them. No matter how nice I am it is met with disrespect and I'm tired of putting up with it. I'm setting up an appointment tomorrow with a family/marriage counselor because I can't seem to get through to BF, so hopefully someone with more experience and no bias can. I can definitely offer you some tips if the counseling helps and I start seeing some changes.

THEY don’t bring a dark cloud

THEY don’t bring a dark cloud with them when they get their, your BF brings it by failing to be a good parent. He’s the one allowing their crap behaviour, letting them disrespect you, and having no consequences when they misbehave. Those are his decisions, not theirs.

As long as he continues to behave this way, you’re going to suffer in this relationship, they’re only doing what he’s letting them get away with. Put the onus where it’s due, on your BF. He’s the one you should be angry with.

I am angry with him, but his

I am angry with him, but his kids know better so I definitely have a reason to be angry with them too.

They're only doing what they

They're only doing what they're being allowed to do. I get being frustrated & resentful, BTDT, but the only person who can change it is you BF. I get frustrated with my skids too, but I always put it back on DH & BM. They're the parents, they call the shots. If the kids are being little sh*ts & getting away with it, that's up to bad parenting, not bad children.

I would recommend family counseling

I really doubt you are unbiased. Do you really think you can compare a 7 MOnth old with older kids? This is comical.

I wasn't comparing them

I wasn't comparing them because I didn't know his kids as babies so there's clearly nothing for me to compare. These are his own words from his own mouth. Him and his family are the ones constantly making comparisons. But our DD already has a big personality and she's already a lot like me, which people like because I'm a likeable person.

Step life is hard enough when

Step life is hard enough when you truly love and trust your partner. This relationship has not worked for a long time and it's not going to work now, just because you have a child together (a child that he wanted you to give up for adoption).

But only you can decide when it's time to "give up" (although, I don't consider it giving up).

You're right. I should have

You're right. I should have said start a new chapter.

I’ve been married to my husband for 4.5yrs

Ss20 lives at home when not at university which is every other weekend and he hasn’t spoken to me for over 2 years. He doesn’t acknowledge our kids unless hubby is home and thats just to shut hubby out.

He told his dad he can’t say hi to strangers to justify why he never acknowledged me and our kids (his half siblings), so end of last year i told hubby i was done!! Done wanting any relationship with ss and done caring!!

Hubby lost it with ss and told him off i am not a stranger but his wife and mother of his 2 siblings (all be it half siblings). Hubby hates ss because he angers him constantly... hubby has been alienated from ss by exwife since over a decade ago. The only healthy relationship hubby has are with me and our kids but i never let him think he can take us for granted and treat us like a third wheel.

I am moving back to my country overseas to send our 2 kids to school which is something my husband wants because of the better opportunities. Hubby won’t last till retirement age in his job. He misses us too much but doesn’t miss skids. When you see and feel what they’re like, there is no relationship existing between them and their dad apart from pas, narcissm, manipulation and hcgubm meddling...

my husband already wants to spend holidays like new years with us and normally ss would be home for holidays. Ss will not be coming to stay with us in my childhood home, he is never ever welcome. Since skids go out of their way to remind us and hubby that we aren’t family, they don’t benefit from any yearly trips back to my country. Only me, hubby and our kids do because we have the relationship with my dad to manage and he’s always excited to see us. Never will i allow skids to continue to alienate us in my own childhood home yet alone not acknowledge us... even hubbys family have been pas’d out by skids.

My inlaws love my kids including my fil, he never asks where skids are when they aren’t at family events, he hates their mum and the fact they inherited all her bad traits. But hubby tells sd’s that his dad always asks about them.... its just to make them feel welcome

i have told my husband “newsflash!! No one wants to be arounf your kids because they aren’t pleasant to be atound”.

hun i feel for you, its such a tough hard place to be in. My husband even suggested (more like told me) ss20 just messaged to say he’s free during our 4th wedding anniversary weekend so hubby could take him for a holiday. Little shit demanded it knowing full well its our anniversary since he was at our wedding. Hubby messaged me telling me to book tickets somewhere to bring sd23, ss20 and sd14 for a wedding anniversary weekend. I told hubby i was flying back to my county overseas to destress with my kids while he dealt with his stupidity and he just killed any hope of sex with his wife... on no planet do skids ever come for wedding anniversary weekends where they ignore their parents spouse, their half siblings and rant on about their bio mum and stepdad. This weekend is about celebrating us. I told hubby never again will i ever spend time with skids. I have refused to go to family weddings skids are at. Hubby has been told to manage this relationship with toxic feral skids away from me and our kids...

I have the same problem at my

I have the same problem at my house. My BF’s son never acknowledges me at all even if I’m the one to speak first. It really bothers me because my BF will always make some excuse when I comment about how he refuses to talk to me. It’s as if my BF doesn’t care that I am being disrespected. For example, this morning, BF asks me before he left for work if I would take his son to school instead of him riding the school bus because it was storming really bad outside. I said yes, so he tells his son that I will be taking him to school and then he leaves for work. I go about getting ready for work when I notice that I have a missed call from BF on my phone, so I called him back. Apparently, his son decided right when BF was driving off that he didn’t want me to take him to school, so he walked out of the house to go wait on the bus….without telling me anything, but lied to BF saying that he told me. If BF wouldn’t have seen him walking out of the house and called me about it, I wouldn’t have known he left until we were about to leave. My BF’s excuse for his son sneaking out of the house, lying to him and not telling me about leaving….”well, that’s just the way he is”. His son really doesn’t talk much to him either, makes bad grades in school and lies constantly which puts my BF in a mood and in turn brings that dark cloud over the household. And that dark cloud lasts all week long until BF’s son goes to his BM’s house on the weekend. BF also lets his son get away with things and there’s really no such thing as consequences. Good luck!